tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71700076707569350472024-02-19T16:19:04.565+00:00My Medicated Cartoon LifeThe ramblings of a bitter animator, living and dealing with depression on Planet Doom.Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.comBlogger480125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-60797131043985093372018-07-26T14:32:00.000+01:002018-07-26T14:32:19.715+01:00The end of the story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>“I'm an animator. I draw "funny" cartoons. I have depression. I am medicated.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>That's my life.”</i><br />
<br />
That was the start of this story. September 23rd, 2007. That's when this blog began. As you can see if you have happened across it, the blog has been dormant. And now it's finally time to accept that it's time to say goodbye. Why? Because I won. Because the story has a happy ending. Because stories can have happy endings after all.<br />
<br />
This blog was always just one part of myself: an outlet for those dark times. The bad feelings. They're not the full story – outside of the blog, life was playing out. And I think that's something many of us do with depression. It is killing us and yet, when we can, we go about our lives and try to pretend it's not happening.<br />
<br />
But it is. It can be slow. It can creep in. It can take over us and almost push our real selves away from who we are. I used to say it felt like I was watching my life through a screen. I wasn't fully in control. The life I was watching wasn't mine. I disconnected from myself... and everyone else. And that hurt. It physically hurt. There were times I felt I couldn't go on. I didn't even talk about it a lot here but I used to visualise my own death, my funeral. That felt easier sometimes than life, except for the idea that people would talk about me. I wanted one of those funerals you sometimes see in American movies where it seems like there is only around four people there. I got lost in thoughts of my own death. And maybe, just maybe, some day I would make it happen.<br />
<br />
I did two things. Firstly, I asked for help. That was SO HARD. I should have asked for help so much earlier but I didn't, I couldn't. And when I did, I was barely capable of a whimper. But I asked nonetheless. And it wasn't easy, it was a slow journey but I got help. The other was the most important: I said “not today”.<br />
<br />
<i>Not today.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Today won't be the day I die. If I can hang on for just one more day, just one, maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe it won't. But today is not the day to go. </i><br />
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And you know what? It got better. I got better. I survived and I won and here I am and life is good. Life can be good. With help and time, we can all get through this. Oh sure, I have to be vigilant. I will never feel like depression isn't a possible part of my life but I know it now. I know what it is, I have seen it and stared it in the face and I know how to get through it. If it happens, it won't be easy and it will take help and time yet again but I know it can be overcome. It can be beaten.<br />
<br />
And life gets better. Life gets better and our ability to <i>see </i>life gets better. Our ability to feel the good gets better. Our ability to feel love gets better. Everything gets better.<br />
<br />
For me, things have been better for a very long time. Life is good. I won. The story has a happy ending and that's the end of the story of this blog. It's done.<br />
<br />
If you have stumbled across this old blog because you too are in a dark place, know this: <i>there are happy endings</i>. If you feel you can't go on, if you want out, if you find yourself thinking about your own death, I implore you to please make me this promise: not today. Whatever happens from here, just not today. Do whatever it takes to get through today. Just one more day.<br />
<br />
I don't know you but I believe in you and I love you. We're all capable of wonderful amazing things and you are no exception. It can be so hard to see that. It can be painful. And yet it's true. You are wonderful and if you get through today and you get help, there will come a time when you can see it clearly. Things will get better and maybe you'll write up your own happy ending. Your story can have a happy ending. Give it that chance.<br />
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Love to you all. Thank you to everyone who was with me on my journey and everyone who stopped by along the way. You have all been amazing.Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-43560401228124140912015-01-10T12:13:00.000+00:002015-01-10T12:13:09.310+00:00Beliefs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So... the Paris thing. I have taken a while to get my thoughts together and I'll be honest – they're still not together. Here's why: the conflict I have between respect for the belief of others and the fact that those beliefs can include wanting to hurt, kill, suppress or generally restrict the rights of others. There are awesome people with crazy beliefs. There are assholes with everything they believe rooted in scientific norms. And all kinds of mixes in between.<br />
<br />
But I feel we need to look seriously at beliefs and we can't disassociate them from actions. And I don't mean this applies to just one belief system. I mean all beliefs.<br />
<br />
Let's take the Paris example. I read a lot of – <i>don't blame this on Islam. These people were unhinged monsters. They were sick. Crazy.</i> Okay so moving past the idea that pinning it on mental illness is just fine and dandy, for me this allows us to completely dismiss these people as monsters. Whatever we may think of them and their actions, they <i>are</i> human beings. And if several human beings can go this far, so can others. We need to acknowledge them first as humans. After all, there are entire nations now handing out some pretty horrific punishments under the name of Sharia Law. Are they not human?<br />
<br />
I also read a lot of condemnation from other Muslims and rightfully so. And we know of course that, in so many places (including this example) moderate Muslims are so often victims of the extremists. That is so important to keep in mind.<br />
<br />
And yet the same basic root of the belief systems that the moderate Muslims hold gave these people the justification for their actions.<br />
<br />
Let me take it away from Islam for a moment because the danger is that we become Islamophobic and that is unhelpful and can be dangerous in itself. Let me move on to another example – Christians hating gay people. Now I know that not all Christians hate gay people. In the grand scheme of things, I imagine the percentage is likely to be pretty damn low. And yet they exist. Are these extreme Christians? Maybe. But their holy book says that men shouldn't lay with other men and it's a killing offence. So actually if we're going to take the Bible as the core of the religion, it's not that these gay-hating Christians are extreme. It's that they're Christians. The more relaxed are just picking and choosing what works for them because they're cool and they don't like hating others.<br />
<br />
But those Christians, no matter how relaxed, must recognise that the root of their beliefs contains words that say we should put gay people to death. Now it's important to recognise that the bible likely didn't make a lot of homophobes who they are - but it enables them and justifies it and provides an argument for their hate.<br />
<br />
We feel we should respect beliefs. But really when it's that kind of stuff, should we? Really? Stick that in a book and tell people that it's the word of a divine ruler and no matter how cool most people are, sooner or later someone will act on it.<br />
<br />
Extreme Christians are just Christians who are actually following what it says. They aren't twisting it. They are Christians. Same with extreme Muslims. And likely with so many other religions. So we simply can't say that the beliefs or some religions themselves aren't a problem. That in itself enables things like this. It allows them to happen. Our automatic respect for beliefs leads to horrors.<br />
<br />
We've got to stop enabling them. So how? Well some ways include rational discussion, analysis, satire, humour and general ridicule. A general intolerance of people being assholes. One really important way - leaving their club.<br />
<br />
I was in Ireland when it was found out not just about the molesting priests in the Catholic Church but that the church knew about it and knowingly swept it under the carpet. The entire institution was rotten to the core. And yet on Sunday people in Ireland turned up to church as normal. WTF? If I was in a club and it was shown that the club liked to punch puppies in the face, know what I'd do? I'D LEAVE THE FUCKING CLUB. Doing ANYTHING else is supporting and enabling the crime.<br />
<br />
It's not enough for moderate people of one religion to condemn the extremists of that same religion. Walk away. Stop being a part of it. Leave the club. Anything else is still supporting it.<br />
<br />
The bottom line here is that being part of a group that believes people should be killed, maimed, are second-class citizens or whatever is being a dick, even if you personally don't subscribe to the bad parts. Have your beliefs and embrace your spirituality but don't support the institutions or the archaic and often barbaric foundations they were built on.<br />
<br />
We shouldn't respect beliefs by default.<br />
<br />
Beliefs, like people, should have to earn respect.<br />
<br />
So where are we then? You can believe the most rational or most crazy shit you can think of and I think we should all be cool with that... until one of those beliefs restricts somebody else's life, advocates removing their human rights, suggests or provides justification for violence and murder or simply inhibits rational thought or compassion. When that happens, we should call your beliefs out as being bullshit and they can go fuck right off. We need to stop tip-toeing around those beliefs. They have not earned respect and so deserve none.<br />
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Instead, embrace your nice beliefs within yourself, be cool to each other, promote the awesomeness of humanity and take us to new and better places. And please call out the bullshit where you see it.<br />
<br />
Love to all of you.<br />
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Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-11481299809623965932014-10-08T14:43:00.001+01:002014-10-08T14:43:52.679+01:00Here comes the rain...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's that time of year. Dark mornings. Rain. Cold. I'm finding I REALLY don't want to get up in the morning. This can be a tough time of year for those battling with depression because it's just darker and more miserable. Around us, the world starts to look and feel like those feelings we remember and want to avoid. Like a conspiracy to get it all under our skin once more.<br />
<br />
Well I'm not playing. Not now.<br />
<br />
But man, I'm sleepy. Who do I speak to about not having to get up in the morning? Is there a department that handles this stuff? I form I need to fill out? Just leave me in my bed with the phone and the pizza place on speed dial. Actually no. I don't want to speak to anyone. I'll order food online. Yes, that sounds better.<br />
<br />
And then I'll do much sleeping and all will be good, right? Right?<br />
<br />
As the mornings and evenings get darker, I hope your mood doesn't match them. Not always easy, I know. But I'm hoping for good things for everyone who stops by here. By the way, a few people have emailed me over the last while looking for help and advice and that's really good. I can't offer much beyond my experiences and some kind words but it feels good that, even when close to dormant, this little blog can help people. Some day I might think about writing a little beginner's guide to depression...Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-24199948486458894162014-08-12T22:29:00.001+01:002014-08-12T22:40:11.195+01:00Remember...<span id="goog_138693683"></span><span id="goog_138693684"></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5igUMNU2XPmMxunlHFQ2ndQtyLMu7dl7FVfcWZdC1B7r9SmxjHzVAoW9wy7-JYS066eQost-ZDxy5Ba1D-SI5NEYlLzW2hv-cxioBG9McH1aEy2ZEya2EAueDHeyCxJaEu5nzljqegtU0/s640/blogger-image-2038404783.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5igUMNU2XPmMxunlHFQ2ndQtyLMu7dl7FVfcWZdC1B7r9SmxjHzVAoW9wy7-JYS066eQost-ZDxy5Ba1D-SI5NEYlLzW2hv-cxioBG9McH1aEy2ZEya2EAueDHeyCxJaEu5nzljqegtU0/s640/blogger-image-2038404783.jpg"></a></div><br>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-79866259380014112592014-07-31T20:27:00.001+01:002014-07-31T20:40:23.803+01:00It's very simple<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This conflict is not new. It was a trigger for me 15 years or more ago. It was bullshit then and it's bullshit now. What used to rub me up the wrong way in a big way was that one side got to be all warmongery and shouty and anyone who didn't want war was expected to debate rationally. Well it's time we peace-loving goody not-into-the-whole-killing-kids-thing people got a bit shouty because the other side long lost the right to justify their bullshit.<br />
<br />
On a whole other note, I only just noticed there were comments I had left unpublished. Sorry about that all! Hope you're doing well. I miss you guys - I just so very rarely post now.Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-60438626843023148532014-01-08T20:16:00.000+00:002014-01-08T20:41:24.449+00:00What have we accepted?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<h3>
<b><u><a href="http://imgur.com/38PwBta" target="_blank">SEE WHOLE IMAGE BY CLICKING HERE</a></u></b></h3>
<h3>
<b><a href="http://postimg.org/image/iyyy2fls5/" target="_blank">FULL REALLY BIG SIZE VERSION HERE</a></b></h3>
<i>(The full image wouldn't post here in any legible way - it's a long one!)</i><br />
<br />
I have made suggested here before that maybe, just maybe,
depression is in part our own body's (or mind's) rejection of our
situation. Poisoned by our environment, by systems which are alien to
every cell in our body, by ideas and conflicts that we're told keep
our world running and yet create a black pit inside us that grows and
grows. We depressed masses are not sociopaths. As much as we try
consciously to accept the world as humanity has shaped it, our bodies
cannot fully accept it.<br />
<br />
I don't know if this is true for you. I do know that the one thing
that cannot be taken for granted about depression is it being the
same for everyone.<br />
<br />
And so while my own depression is currently dormant, I can't help
but look around for its causes. The world as it is. And I find myself
wondering: what have we accepted? What have we let happen?
<br />
<br />
What world have we given to today's youth?<br />
<br />
Speaking of which, where are they? Where are you passionate
youngsters? Are you there lurking behind the troll face memes and
Pokemon gifs? The old visible youth presence seems to be gone. Are
there youth subcultures any more?
<br />
<br />
Online connection is wonderful and it's not like the world was
better when I was young (it wasn't) but the unfortunate side effect is that you
have become marginalised. The world has shafted you and nobody knows
if you give a shit because the Internet is so damn vast that it's all just white noise if it's even slightly outside our own personal 'net sphere. It's too easy to ignore. It all holds such promise and gives us access to so much and all that is cool but, in the process, it is like we shipped kids off to a ghetto we never have to visit.<br />
<br />
Speaking for my generation, I apologise for the world we gave you.
If you're reading this and you're young, please consider the message
in the image linked above. Feel free to share it, spread it anywhere, ignore it or do anything you like with it (no credit or link
required). Make yourself known. Get together. Not just online where you can
be ignored. Where you can be seen. Don't allow yourselves to be
marginalised. Don't let the world stomp all over you.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The world is yours.Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-81039030585375079132013-12-19T16:32:00.000+00:002013-12-19T16:40:30.672+00:00Animators, depression and wishes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Another winter. Here it is again. That dreary time of year. That time of year that so often reminds me of that dark place that is a part of me. Why is that? Is it just the weather? The lack of sunlight? Perhaps. The enforced jolliness of Christmas clashing with the reality of our own feelings? Maybe that's more relevant.<br />
<br />
Don't worry, folks. I'm doing well. Very well, in fact. Since my last post, my life has gone through many changes and that's frightening and exciting rolled into one. And it's actually fun.<br />
<br />
It has warmed my heart that I still get comments and mails from this little blog though. No I don't wish depression on you all. But I know how much reading other sites helped me when I was first diagnosed. Reading the experiences of others was a comfort – that knowledge that, really, I wasn't completely on my own with this. We're in it together and, while many may not ever understand what we go through, there is a select elite group who know all too well.<br />
<br />
<b>We're not alone. </b><br />
<br />
One thing that has become obvious since starting this blog many years ago is that depression seems to go hand in hand with animation a lot of the time. I am not unique. Not by a long shot. So why is that? It's a little curious, right? I don't have answers. Only questions...<br />
<br />
Is it that there are so many little things that eat away at us?<br />
Are we not creatively fulfilled?<br />
Are we not rewarded enough for the very skilled work that we do?<br />
Do we feel taken advantage of, trampled on?<br />
Is it that we spend too long by ourselves, in a bubble of scenes?<br />
Do we feel a clash of creative versus commercial and hate what we make?<br />
Is it the endless struggle of having clear vision yet having to wrestle it on to a screen?<br />
Is it as simple as just not getting thanked enough?<br />
<br />
Or is it that animation and the whole idea of making films and TV a frame at a time is completely and utterly insane? Yeah, maybe that's a part of it.<br />
<br />
Animators, any ideas? Is it animation? Or is it just about being a person?<br />
<br />
I don't know but what I do know is that it is often hard to talk about. There is still a stigma attached to depression, mainly because those who don't get it... well, they don't get it. It is hard to be open about it publicly, especially when you're making happy fun little animations to make kids smile. It's not an easy discussion. I know that well and maybe I have been a coward all these years by not posting with my real name but it has allowed me to be very honest about a great many things about just one or two aspects of a far more colourful life. I am not all depression and animation (<i>honest!</i>). But being able to write about those things freely has been very helpful. <br />
<br />
Let's try to write more and read more about it, whether we use our real names or not. It all helps.<br />
<br />
To everyone who comes by this little blog (and most get here because they are searching for information and posts on depression), I wish you good health. I wish you peace of mind. I wish you fewer depths and less darkness and the strength to make it through both when you have to. This world is filled with shit and hideous things and that so often obscures all of the wonderful things we have, the amazing things that people do, the little acts of kindness, the huge life-changing acts of kindness, the wonder of nature, even just a pretty cloud now and then. The worst things in life are not all our responsibility, not all the time. Allow yourself to put it aside and see the wonder. Give yourself that permission.<br />
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I know... easier said than done. But I wish that for you.<br />
<br />
And for the animators, what have you got yourself into? What were you thinking? You could have a nice job in retail, where you get to go home content if you just survive the day. No, I'm joking. Animation is awesome, in spite of our griping (well, my griping). For you animators, I wish fulfillment, contentment, pride in your work but not so much that it makes you a pain in the ass. I wish fun characters, great music, and lovely surprises of life and personality as you animate, or little unexpected splashes of colour in your backgrounds. I wish you a moment maybe once a week, hopefully more, when you look at what you have made, at what you created and brought into being in this Universe, and you think – that's awesome.<br />
<br />
And lastly to everyone, animator or not, depressed or not, I wish you all a fantastic holiday season. Warmth, family, friends or even just the comfort of lying under a warm blanket on your own.<br />
<br />
<i>By the way, if you are in animation, there are tons of relevant posts buried in the archives. Have a browse!</i>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-36868830710832313612013-05-26T08:39:00.001+01:002013-05-26T08:39:05.184+01:00I was depressed. Now I'm not.<div>So I did EXACTLY what I used to be told not to do while experiencing depression. Here's how it went...</div><div><br></div><div>I was feeling that familiar darkness, clouding me, pushing me further away from the real world. That's often how it feels - like I am retreating into somewhere deeper and there are barriers between me and life. Not just barriers. Dark clouds. </div><div><br></div><div>It was depression, no doubt about it. I know it all too well.</div><div><br></div><div>I was afraid. Mostly because I don't think I have ever emerged from depression in less than a year. Sometimes much longer. I didn't want to end up lying on my bed in the foetal position but I also didn't want to end up on that long medication road. I hate that road.</div><div><br></div><div>I have long felt that depression is situational. A reaction from deep within our core telling us that something is just not right with our life. That could be something huge and obvious but it rarely is, which is why often we don't know what's wrong. Often, I think it is the effect of a long-term discontentment. Got to be honest, I'm not sure I buy the chemical imbalance thing but that's a discussion for another post.</div><div><br></div><div>One thing I was told many times while being treated for depression was not to make any life-changing decisions. Don't get married. Don't move house. Don't buy a boat. But if depression even had the slightest chance of being situational, that advice prevents you from tackling the actual cause in any way. </div><div><br></div><div>This time, I ignored that advice. I made a change. A massive change.</div><div><br></div><div>I did something that should increase my stress and my worry - I removed the security I had in my career and set myself on a new path. An unknown path without a worked-out plan. I put myself in a situation where a life change is unavoidable, even if I wanted to back out. I blew up my old world and must now find a new planet. Metaphorically - don't worry, I didn't actually blow anything up.</div><div><br></div><div>Getting to the decision to make that change was horrifying.</div><div><br></div><div>But once I went ahead with it, those dark clouds lifted. My situation changed. I feel better. And I have never once before seen depression lift so fast. Ever. </div><div><br></div><div>I feel good. </div><div><br></div><div>Sure, I now have major challenges ahead. It's not going to be easy. It may not even work out. But it's exciting and it feels right. It feels so right. I wondered if it might just be a momentary rush of excitement but, no. This is right.</div><div><br></div><div>Depression often feels to me like the long-term cumulative damage caused by even a slight unaddressed discontentment. If I am right, then the solution is to change the situation. Exactly the opposite of the advice I have been given over the years.</div><div><br></div><div>I feel good.</div><div> </div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-23708685709466825022013-04-22T20:38:00.001+01:002013-04-22T20:38:51.276+01:00Round 1...Previously on My Medicated Cartoon Life...<br />
<br />
Well, quick recap. I haven't posted in years and you will likely have seen that the previous batch of posts were thin on the ground for some time. I changed. The blog ceased to have as much function as it once did. I drifted back into the real world, my other self. So what have I been doing? Here is an incomplete list -<br />
<br />
Made a couple of really excellent TV shows.<br />
Had quite a bit of praise as a result of one of those shows.<br />
Been busy being a parent.<br />
Have drawn, painted and generally created.<br />
Generally have been relatively okay.<br />
<br />
Oh there were downs. One of my shows very nearly didn't get off the ground. That was severely stressful. But I dealt with it. I have had building frustrations though about my industry and my close working environment - many of those things I have gone through here on the blog but they wear one down over time. I have been okay though.<br />
<br />
So what brings me back? How have I become the bitter animator again? What happened?<br />
<br />
A combination of things, I think. One element was the usual post-production crash. I'm sure I have mentioned it before but when you're working on an intense production for a long time, there can be a godawful crash when it finishes. A real sense of anticlimax. It is worse when production is hard because you force your body to keep going to get through it. Once over, your body gives up. The crash after this most recent production has been tough. Best show I have ever made. I think it's a fantastic animated show by any standards and I was driving the whole thing. I should be really happy about it. And I am happy with the show, but the crash... that's a killer.<br />
<br />
It's almost like psychologically, I expect a parade in my honour for surviving it. Of course, it's my job to thank everyone else and make sure they get their parades. And they deserve them.<br />
<br />
That growing frustration is another element. It long since passed breaking point. So I have no other choice but to act on that, to make a change. But any change from the status quo will be so dangerous and terrifying. And yet it has to be done. So there is procrastination, fear, stress and worry all merging together and eating my insides up.<br />
<br />
So I have felt a familiar darkness. The tiredness. The disconnection. The inability to take joy from anything. <br />
<br />
It's back.<br />
<br />
But you know what? I'm not going down without a fight.<br />
<br />
I am going to make some big decisions and take action. I shall make changes. And I shall tackle them head-on. It will be scary but what the hell isn't these days? I can get through this and probably come out better for it.<br />
<br />
For now, the bitter animator has reemerged. Still, that's not all bad. One thing the bitter animator side of me has going for him is he gets angry. Anger can be a great motivator for change. I need all the motivation I can get right now...<br />
<br />
So how have you all been? What have I missed on internet blogland?<br />
<br />
<br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEintCTH0ozKONeZ9ruJFFOCG0lZ3LkpaWwm5Pa99xCeOviiCbDSzGFThXEXXCa0p0jDKV3YmiqZ8_C9OxXcK80lI2Ip9iRripf_pVjhxp26CEnTTQKnSp01Yj60LY3KRnlrDUH33FJls8IV/s640/blogger-image--1920813490.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEintCTH0ozKONeZ9ruJFFOCG0lZ3LkpaWwm5Pa99xCeOviiCbDSzGFThXEXXCa0p0jDKV3YmiqZ8_C9OxXcK80lI2Ip9iRripf_pVjhxp26CEnTTQKnSp01Yj60LY3KRnlrDUH33FJls8IV/s640/blogger-image--1920813490.jpg" /></a></div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-84582714571910916862013-04-13T10:28:00.001+01:002013-04-13T10:28:12.228+01:00Ah hello... <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnPwV5IQArAEnTl7Xc0lcIeaqFXJTjje6sDyO2KPZEYVtlhAeytB92Rrul6NRrDBZpG9urwGE5jmG79IUA0nuNI-PBhwcso5ndJxc7H-_H-Sx-tAFNT3J7yw0Ci-bUFJ1ATCTOO16-SJPf/s640/blogger-image--132291414.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnPwV5IQArAEnTl7Xc0lcIeaqFXJTjje6sDyO2KPZEYVtlhAeytB92Rrul6NRrDBZpG9urwGE5jmG79IUA0nuNI-PBhwcso5ndJxc7H-_H-Sx-tAFNT3J7yw0Ci-bUFJ1ATCTOO16-SJPf/s640/blogger-image--132291414.jpg" /></a></div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-82022054552496073712011-12-19T15:09:00.004+00:002011-12-19T15:23:21.601+00:00Snow angels<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjafb51E5Ctl6DT4ppfjvL66D7S5-cbLEMViBoT-IU_ugn4Z3o7yMBZrDd2tJXDmMOYEn3bpRA3RqF3SJApJ7kdbFidVID-eGXiqNiX1v_URt3p3JZSV8pEb5TWlkiecmJI56ee3mkqwM0N/s1600/SnowAngel.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687857000794596882" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjafb51E5Ctl6DT4ppfjvL66D7S5-cbLEMViBoT-IU_ugn4Z3o7yMBZrDd2tJXDmMOYEn3bpRA3RqF3SJApJ7kdbFidVID-eGXiqNiX1v_URt3p3JZSV8pEb5TWlkiecmJI56ee3mkqwM0N/s400/SnowAngel.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a><br />
<br />
Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post! The first post here in a loooooong time. Special thanks to Holly, Susan's cat who gave me a mention here - <a href="http://twim-blog.org/2011/12/17/this-week-in-mentalists-a-cat-shares-her-thoughts-on-the-holidays/" target="_blank">This Week in Mentalists</a><br />
<br />
I would put a nicer link but Blogger seems to have gone all minimalist on me and removed just about every formatting option short of posting a pic. Why, Blogger? Why?! (Edit: Think I have it sorted. Just Google and their endless mission to make stuff worse).<br />
<br />
So it's Christmas time and, you know what? I'm feeling Christmassy. Wasn't the easiest year, not by a long shot. We're in a world of uncertainty and, for what is really the first time since the 2008 recession hit, my own work has been on the chopping block. But my latest project has just been given a last minute reprieve. My father passed away this year. That sucked on a few levels. We weren't close so part of me thinks I was protected from a certain level of grief and yet it just meant the whole thing was messy. What was unresolved will now stay unresolved forever.<br />
<br />
So, yeah. Not the easiest year.<br />
<br />
But a good year.<br />
<br />
A year in which I realised just how much support I have. And not just that it's me and people supporting me or me supporting them. I really felt that a whole bunch of us are in this together. And I count many of you out there in the blogoshpere in that too. A unity. Not a perfect unity. But a strong one. <br />
<br />
Life won't always be easy. Yes, a dog may take a piss on us while we make snow angels but who cares? We'll have made snow angels!<br />
<br />
I hope you all make snow angels.<br />
<br />
Have a very happy Christmas/holiday season/Winter Wonderland/Snowy Surprise or whatever it is you all celebrate. Stay well!Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-16993423930016802312011-12-07T09:56:00.002+00:002011-12-07T10:06:24.872+00:00December again<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgumf_kU_OFfOEG-mArg5EQoc1hw98i-V5DxGQLe3eVsfaJwdpaqKO84QyfpAFu48J8yisHfx6NGpKziuPPA8g83Ypt8XwNaZzAf5UWV4RPaCY37FkrMzXYThG05xe6_I24zJFI5deZSitj/s1600/TisTheSeason.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgumf_kU_OFfOEG-mArg5EQoc1hw98i-V5DxGQLe3eVsfaJwdpaqKO84QyfpAFu48J8yisHfx6NGpKziuPPA8g83Ypt8XwNaZzAf5UWV4RPaCY37FkrMzXYThG05xe6_I24zJFI5deZSitj/s400/TisTheSeason.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5683323351443429106" /></a>Every now and again, I come back to this place... my old blog. There is a lot to look back on and always a reminder of a particular time in my life. A while before I sort of wound down the blog, I stuck in one of those Google Analytics code things to see how many people were coming to the blog. Turns out it was pretty popular.<div><br /></div><div>Obviously lack of posts caused that number to go down and down. But, looking at the little graph now, somewhere in October it began to go up. And it rose through November to now. Why? Was someone linking to my blog? Writing about it?</div><div><br /></div><div>No.</div><div><br /></div><div>It was simply coming up in Google searches more as more people searched for information on 'depression'. It's that dark time of year. Wouldn't it be nice to take my increasing numbers as something positive? The truth is, it's a bad sign for many people. I think I'd be happy if my blog never came up in searches again because nobody needed to know anything about depression any more. Because it was a thing of the past.</div><div><br /></div><div>But it's not.</div><div><br /></div><div>Depression is still all around us. Probably more now than ever. It's a tough time of year for many. But you know what? This is why I appreciate all those who blog about depression and tell their stories. So that people who realise they or a loved one may be facing depression have somewhere to go. Real survival stories to read. And even the stories that did not have happy endings, to serve as a reminder that, sometimes, people need help and it's not always obvious. Every one of you who have written about depression help.</div><div><br /></div><div>Being that darker time of year, I hope you're all doing okay and are looking out for yourselves and others.</div><div><br /></div><div>And those writing about animation, well look, some people are just beyond help. Making films a frame at a time? Honestly, it's too late for those people. Just get out before they drag you down with them.</div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-19309407400113918652011-04-09T11:27:00.000+01:002011-04-09T11:27:41.349+01:00All quiet<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA_hFkcowOwIsC_9n7KSeoZuuAtg_RzsEfVDFvDryoQT_ba97HOnvF4INnnjY0f_gLcSThh5vbar4UI3L71TM5WcpatNXT-3jrjDa0RC7UGR62zO86PLn-XmdmZGlK51LFKKm1Z-U4VtVI/s1600-h/Immersed.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231427349745405330" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA_hFkcowOwIsC_9n7KSeoZuuAtg_RzsEfVDFvDryoQT_ba97HOnvF4INnnjY0f_gLcSThh5vbar4UI3L71TM5WcpatNXT-3jrjDa0RC7UGR62zO86PLn-XmdmZGlK51LFKKm1Z-U4VtVI/s400/Immersed.jpg" border="0" /></a>Yes, all quiet here. Just trying to survive. Not always easy. But I'm still going. If you have happened upon this somewhat dormant blog by accident, why not have a browse through the archives? I do, every now and again. There's some good stuff in there, even if I do say so myself. Makes me feel guilty for not keeping the place updated regularly. But I guess that is the way of blogs.</div><div><br /></div><div>While you're here, though, you should check out these blogs and sites. These are friends of the blog or just places I enjoy. Check them all out - </div><div><br /></div><div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvyJDJc_b5-QtOgsEA-bWOR94iGqYSB2z3ntQ2HYFANCCvIeRVKxVWies_H24ZGIbeXBWofra0s85JzeojIf35yh-8KrrHCqPEIIkPFvJBgJn2LZqpAeIrZy4amIEefqFLL7AXCIFFmuEt/s1600/prozacville-light-grey-larg.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 73px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvyJDJc_b5-QtOgsEA-bWOR94iGqYSB2z3ntQ2HYFANCCvIeRVKxVWies_H24ZGIbeXBWofra0s85JzeojIf35yh-8KrrHCqPEIIkPFvJBgJn2LZqpAeIrZy4amIEefqFLL7AXCIFFmuEt/s400/prozacville-light-grey-larg.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5593523999646101218" /></a><a href="http://www.prozacville.co.uk/">Prozacville</a> is as bad as I am for updates but there's loads of great stuff in the archives. Little comics about life. Funny, silly in places and yet very honest. In a stroke of genius, also included in each post is a soundtrack.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9QfTQU-AHTJTJQ58hT4hfurqfD7XKGPzriOtt9XrxOzPOw3dX8hazBM2d6ZFX8vFee_iYwfDniF3r0aSvRkdoC9-Z5fg8wYiMHu5gsJzk-SzMLvXL-ca8B39m_eXXM4nbp-1WKJGI56f4/s1600/Hell.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 68px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9QfTQU-AHTJTJQ58hT4hfurqfD7XKGPzriOtt9XrxOzPOw3dX8hazBM2d6ZFX8vFee_iYwfDniF3r0aSvRkdoC9-Z5fg8wYiMHu5gsJzk-SzMLvXL-ca8B39m_eXXM4nbp-1WKJGI56f4/s400/Hell.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5593524715085683714" /></a><a href="http://ifyouregoingthoughhellkeepgoing.blogspot.com/">Susan</a> is a good friend here at Medicated Cartoon Life. She's had it rough at times but, man, she's a fighter and her blog is a testament to that. <div></div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjVEtLbcShJif99zS3sVrTJCJfrKVMdc7WdadqB627Bd76Q5BIeivGgPhJFrcQNczA86QLMJ3inpBB3VtqHFAU-3bSGY_UB_PJHE0ynTAPMGhrOF4qVCPkT1DddgAPq23aigQjJbM6UUMg/s1600/logo.png" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 125px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjVEtLbcShJif99zS3sVrTJCJfrKVMdc7WdadqB627Bd76Q5BIeivGgPhJFrcQNczA86QLMJ3inpBB3VtqHFAU-3bSGY_UB_PJHE0ynTAPMGhrOF4qVCPkT1DddgAPq23aigQjJbM6UUMg/s400/logo.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5593525221251900194" /></a><a href="http://www.dailygrail.com/">The Daily Grail</a> is a place that will open your mind. Their Red Pill Junkie is also a good friend here and his comments have always been insightful, enjoyable and often eye-opening. The Daily Grail is well worth a regular read. You'll find some gems there.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEH7RUHVl1sI1h84X6SXA9pZYQQ2kGi46arxE6QWNn3cii-PUUFk6ecf1Bp9TqTMyo0cuGvKIVy_nYZmJKk5Cy1Qie8TlFx7ulloq2dUtIC31s8SMyhItQ-QKhOGItkypOHvP-0eLgtHGb/s1600/BannerBigC.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 88px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEH7RUHVl1sI1h84X6SXA9pZYQQ2kGi46arxE6QWNn3cii-PUUFk6ecf1Bp9TqTMyo0cuGvKIVy_nYZmJKk5Cy1Qie8TlFx7ulloq2dUtIC31s8SMyhItQ-QKhOGItkypOHvP-0eLgtHGb/s400/BannerBigC.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5593525888968966962" /></a>This is a pretty new one. <a href="http://genuinehumans.blogspot.com/">Honest to Goodness Genuine Humans</a>. It's a funny cartoon blog from the guy who brought us Too Many Zombies. With some great one-liners and some with a real sideways look at life, it's a fun one. You can (and should) follow them on Twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/GenuineHumans">here</a> for even more.<br /><br /></div><div>I'm on Twitter too as the <a href="http://twitter.com/BitterAnimator">BitterAnimator</a> so feel free to follow me if you like and send me a tweet so I know who you are for a follow back. I'll admit I really don't tweet very much, just like blogging now I guess, but I'm there and I read and tweet the odd time.</div><div><br /></div><div>So go read all those sites. Enjoy them. Tell your friends, tweet about them, blog about them, post them on reddit or any of those sites because they deserve your attention. And tell them a Bitter Animator sent you. And bug the Prozacville guy for more posts because they're excellent.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Hope everyone who happens upon this post is doing well. If you found your way here via depression, be strong brothers and sisters - it may not be you, it really might be the world that's sick. If you found your way here via animation, strive for the best. You're in one of the most specialised yet unrewarded businesses and you're all creative, fantastic people (well, most of you). </div><div><br /></div><div>And to everyone else, I'll say this - the old models are crumbling. Your time will come.</div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-32080715554198047762011-03-13T10:46:00.001+00:002011-03-13T10:46:32.156+00:00What I'm likely to find...<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwVSYtIrwR1zDaSPsrKyeeX9qEAF_jgUR7qs67epkYYK_N8tghVh994YtKGd2bnkz8uO72_dzzehi8qW8Sg-RE5vuFbrSH5D0iMTN6fkknluwG8pVfKadPnNngDm1Ygi9VLEuc_Y8J0sCM/s1600/Brain.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468079481475280242" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 296px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwVSYtIrwR1zDaSPsrKyeeX9qEAF_jgUR7qs67epkYYK_N8tghVh994YtKGd2bnkz8uO72_dzzehi8qW8Sg-RE5vuFbrSH5D0iMTN6fkknluwG8pVfKadPnNngDm1Ygi9VLEuc_Y8J0sCM/s400/Brain.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div></div></div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-41407235415277954722011-03-07T16:15:00.005+00:002011-03-07T16:47:56.570+00:00Wonders of the Universe - order to chaos<span class="Apple-style-span" >The new Prof. Brian Cox series, Wonders of the Universe, began last night. And it sparked a lot of questions for me and got me thinking. And, since those thoughts aren't really appropriate elsewhere, they're going here! Hello! Sorry for not being around much or being in touch. Life is going in a few different directions.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >Anyway, Wonders... the main point of the first episode was that time flows in one direction and that direction is oblivion. Pretty much. Everything tends towards chaos. Order breaks down and things decay. Merging together to form amorphous nothingness.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >Low entropy eventually becomes high entropy. Low entropy being ordered, yet fragile.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >So the example Prof. Cox used was a sandcastle he built. An ordered form. What will happen to that sandcastle is obvious - it will eventually break down, through winds or any other force. It will tend towards a big ol' pile of sand.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >The idea was that the Universe began with low entropy, very ordered (was it really?) and, as we move through time, it moves towards high entropy. Like a sandcastle falling apart.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >The big question not asked in the show, however, was this - if everything breaks down and physical laws all point towards that chaos, where did that initial order come from? As Prof. Cox tweeted after the show, <span class="Apple-style-span">"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; "><span class="Apple-style-span">the origin of low entropy in the universe at the big bang is probably THE biggest mystery in cosmology.</span><span class="Apple-style-span">"</span><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span">As far as I know, the current thinking is that the Universe just spontaneously came into being. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" >Prof. Cox likes to use Earthly examples to illustrate his points, like the sandcastle. Firstly, it makes things easier to understand and, secondly, the same laws often work here and out in the Universe. Or at least versions of those laws. But, man, I can't think of any time I have heard of anything spontaneously coming into being. Physicists may have examples. They're not common, I'm sure.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" >But Prof. Cox, without bringing it up, presented a very easy answer to the question - where did that low entropy come from? At least in the ordered way he presented it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; "><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; ">You see, while the Universe may well tend towards chaos, order is created every day. Every second. Right now, raw materials are coming together into new ordered shapes. Because we make order out of chaos. Consciousness tends towards order. We build boxy houses, sleek cars, clothes, arcade machines. While the Universe conspires to destroy those things, we strive to make them. We create order.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " >In building a sandcastle, Prof. Cox presented an Earthly example of just how low entropy situations are created. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " >A conscious mind takes chaos, and puts order to it.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " >Is this a God post?! Well, you see, the whole God thing leads the thought off in a whole other direction. The problem with a God is this - the people being vocal about a god, pretty much no matter who they are, seem to present God as an all-knowing, ever-present being. They present the idea of 'intelligent design'. And the atheists and scientists pull this apart - if it's so intelligent, how come we have an appendix? How come the world is a complete shithole? What the hell kind of god allows that?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " >I come down on the side of the scientists on this. This isn't about some divine being.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " >But... that doesn't mean there wasn't some creator of sorts. He/she/it could be long gone/dead/uninterested/absent parent. It doesn't mean a conscious mind didn't initially create those original conditions that have eventually led to the clearly imperfect us. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " >Is the idea that the Universe was actively created unlikely? </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " >Look around you. Most of what you see was actively created. I have spent most of my life creating worlds. Every time you go and see a movie, you're seeing a created world. Every computer game and programme is a created world. What you're reading this on right now has been created. We create. Order from chaos. We tend towards order.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " >And look at what we can create now compared with what we could create just a few hundred years ago. How does the world of Tron Legacy compare with a play put on in a field? How does Sim City compare with a porcelain doll? </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " >Give us a few thousand years. What then will we be able to create? Whole worlds? Easily. Whole Universes? Given the time, I don't see why not. Whether the Universe was created or not, we're going to be doing it ourselves soon. If we can do it, not only does it not seem a stretch that someone else could do it, it seems pretty arrogant to think otherwise.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " >Brian Cox made a sandcastle. He showed the answer. It seems so obvious. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; " >I wonder what he'd think if he knew it made me a believer in a creator?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 16px; font-size: medium; "> </span></div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-8064729428685253692010-12-24T09:40:00.000+00:002010-12-24T09:40:17.480+00:00Is that a faint smile?<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZUH-FlYuxG69ox_mJ4TGrytpyq9X7x-WrkwR5y08ZFUVbpDUs7MIWgdtf0Hol4s2rraCmVf6Z1g1sePkegbBUk7JKZfoaieleBG1XOOmUqgxSGueQov7RSPvHDdpoBtgS2ae7cKhJIvE8/s1600-h/Pants.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5282914712522049330" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 296px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZUH-FlYuxG69ox_mJ4TGrytpyq9X7x-WrkwR5y08ZFUVbpDUs7MIWgdtf0Hol4s2rraCmVf6Z1g1sePkegbBUk7JKZfoaieleBG1XOOmUqgxSGueQov7RSPvHDdpoBtgS2ae7cKhJIvE8/s400/Pants.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />It's Christmas!<div></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Hope everyone who has made their way to this fairly inactive blog has a wonderful Christmas! Or whatever holidays you celebrate. Or don't. It's fine just to wish you some wonderful days, I think. Happy Friday and Saturday all!</div><div><br /></div><div>Unless you don't recognise the traditional week and then it all gets quite difficult.</div><div><br /></div><div>I think it's been both a great and crappy year for the world overall. Great in that whole systems fell apart economically revealing the fragility and sustainability of systems based on bullshit, truths were revealed that we all suspected and the world has fewer lies today than it did this time last year. Crappy because the worst we suspected has been confirmed and very few seem to be bothered to do anything about it. So the world is a bit more apathetic and hypocritical than this time last year.</div><div><br /></div><div>But, hey... there's always 2011! The year people take the world back? Or at least consider it? Let's hope so.</div><div><br /></div><div>Between now and then, however, take the time off. Let yourself off the hook. The world's ills are not your ills. Let them go for a while. And have a lovely holiday time with friends and family. Just enjoy it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Happy Christmas all!</div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, but if you do find yourself dwelling on the world, please consider making a donation to the defense fund of<a href="http://www.bradleymanning.org/"> Bradley Manning,</a> the soldier suspected of leaking confidential documents. He is being treated hideously and is being punished without even a verdict yet. If he is innocent, he needs all the help he can get. If he is guilty, well... if he is guilty, the man is a hero, putting his conscience above blind orders and has done the world a favour. Either way, he needs support. I have donated and wish Bradley Manning as happy a Christmas as he can possibly have under the conditions he is being kept in.</div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-36445318545160366432010-12-09T15:36:00.001+00:002010-12-10T10:48:23.927+00:00Where is the reaction to Wikileaks?<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikHHnJzG69OxwBvVedRJ_jJ4AxgM12-uT1m7oDn2KCdAXIuUIHuC4O_GUwoKlty-zds9yWne-75qPvNWVwpZ_pcsMP0RpDT7LQ6n5ycKd4M6__duvQ0TDRYOiuh5P_1iIPZ0pdrKBaBeWo/s1600-h/Anger3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252212946839284002" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikHHnJzG69OxwBvVedRJ_jJ4AxgM12-uT1m7oDn2KCdAXIuUIHuC4O_GUwoKlty-zds9yWne-75qPvNWVwpZ_pcsMP0RpDT7LQ6n5ycKd4M6__duvQ0TDRYOiuh5P_1iIPZ0pdrKBaBeWo/s400/Anger3.jpg" border="0" /></a>No, I don't mean hailing Julian Assange as the new messiah or, alternatively, calling for him to be murdered in cold blood. I mean, beyond the weird Cult of Assange thing that's going on.</div><div><br /></div><div>Wikileaks, for a large part, isn't telling us stuff we hadn't already suspected. You could go as far as to say that most of it we already knew. But there's 'knowing' something and it going on somewhere far away and maybe it's real and maybe it's not, and there's 'knowing' something as in it is out there in the open and in your face. Wikileaks is making the former into the latter.</div><div><br /></div><div>And, for me, it pretty much makes the entire Western world a hideous place of hypocrisy, lies and heinous crimes.</div><div><br /></div><div>In our name.</div><div><br /></div><div>They are our governments. Our corporations. We live in their countries. We buy their products. We work for them. They pay our wages and we pay their taxes. We support it. And now we can't even pretend not to know about it. We are now accomplices if we do not make a stand.</div><div><br /></div><div>And I find it hilarious that some condemn Wikileaks for this. Call for them to be shut down. Call for the death of Assange. Really? Calling for someones death because they had the balls to get the truth out there?! Because they got your crimes out in the open? Because they make it harder for you to pretend this shit doesn't happen. Makes a mockery of every working day in the Western world. Freedom? Nope, we don't have that. Morals? Not a fucking chance. We'll make people disappear and torture them with no problem. Funny too that a big deal was made of that one German who was taken and held without trial or due process because it turned out he was the wrong guy. Even if he was the right guy, it's STILL WRONG! </div><div><br /></div><div>And I say a big deal was made of it but only within the limited press reporting on the leaks.</div><div><br /></div><div>No arrests have been made. Except for Jesus 2, Julian Assange, who I'm really suspect about altogether but that's a separate issue. Where is the real reaction? The outrage? The arrests for crimes that have come out in the open with these cables? </div><div><br /></div><div>Where is the reaction?</div><div><br /></div><div>As far as I'm concerned, these leaks simply make real what most of us suspected. And what that does is make a complete mockery of the Western world. Not just the US. Every country. Hell, not even just the Western world. The whole thing. It's a mess. A complete utter joke. These governments have outlived their usefulness. The corporations should be torn down. This entire society should be allowed to fall apart so it can build something new.</div><div><br /></div><div>Something better.</div><div><br /></div><div>For the people. Not for the money. Not for politics. Not for pure evil. For the people.</div><div><br /></div><div>Just the people.</div><div><div><div><br /><div></div></div></div></div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-15744228013004311502010-12-04T09:54:00.001+00:002010-12-04T09:57:08.493+00:00Lost At Sea<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL73W-mioSWD7Oxz3P51xJxu0uPGzyg2XKlpu4mrA9-pzzZY2oaMN6Pqw3wMyPJnoxxd52UBw9Bp7EDwSrTqsOtOzQymzjPpSoF9ou8vf46hxhUOVy2OpO-ZjtFEn7rA1-v_hDuL5tEKVI/s1600/LostAtSea.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5469559214609714690" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 296px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL73W-mioSWD7Oxz3P51xJxu0uPGzyg2XKlpu4mrA9-pzzZY2oaMN6Pqw3wMyPJnoxxd52UBw9Bp7EDwSrTqsOtOzQymzjPpSoF9ou8vf46hxhUOVy2OpO-ZjtFEn7rA1-v_hDuL5tEKVI/s400/LostAtSea.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Had some really great news over email - Susan (see earlier post) is out of hospital. Sounds like she has been through the wars but she is out and with her family (though not yet with her beloved cat). Get well soon, Susan! There has been a hole in blogland without you.<div></div></div><div><br /></div><div>As for me, healthwise, I'm fine and feel I should be very grateful for that. I say fine but who knows what time bomb I have under my skin. With bailouts, IMFs and various aimlessness, things all feel a bit bleak.</div><div><br /></div><div>You know you need something else in your life when you're going to the toilet just for something to do...</div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-88096237435287299962010-11-26T15:55:00.003+00:002010-11-26T16:03:48.761+00:00Any Irish people?I don't know if I have any Irish people at all who pass by the blog but, if I do, you'll know all the crap going on at the moment. You're probably sick of it. For those who don't know, the gist is this: <div><br /></div><div>The country is down the crapper. The banks got us down the crapper and the government pushed us right in there by then pouring money into the banks - paying private debt with public money. Now, the government is looking to get funds from the IMF, which will cripple the country, and make the poor, the young and the middle classes pay for those bank debts and new IMF debts while destroying the economy. The current government will be voted out in January, and yet they are being allowed lock us into this crap so the next government can't do a thing other than bitch about how the previous government got them into trouble.</div><div><br /></div><div>And they'll do it because Irish people have a nasty habit of just accepting shit and moaning about it in the pub.</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't accept it.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's not too late. It doesn't have to happen. Every economist on the planet says this is not the way to go. Says that there are other options. Politically, there are also other options. The parties could prevent the budget going through and force a general election. If these other options aren't explored, we are screwed. And our children are screwed. </div><div><br /></div><div>Moaning in the pub is not going to help.</div><div><br /></div><div>There is a demonstration tomorrow, Saturday November 27th, in Dublin at Wood Quay, 12 noon. It was started by some union I don't support but this is not about unions. It's about every person in Ireland<i>. </i>So please make the effort to get out there and make your voice heard. The people of this country can change it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't let the gobshites chuck a grenade before they leave.</div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-51281643980996662842010-11-21T21:19:00.003+00:002010-11-21T21:31:16.856+00:00Get well soon, Susan!Susan Schechter, author of the excellent blog, <a href="http://ifyouregoingthoughhellkeepgoing.blogspot.com/">'If you're going through hell, keep going</a>', sent me a message to let me know she is in hospital. I don't have many details but there is a <a href="http://fiddaman.blogspot.com/2010/11/get-well-soon-susan-schechter.html">post here</a> from one of her friends explaining the situation.<div><br /></div><div>Susan is a regular commenter here, a very good blog buddy of mine and an all-round fantastic person so the news that her kidneys have failed is really alarming. As said on her friend's blog, "26 years on Lithium has taken its toll". Thanks Pharma - you guys rock!</div><div><br /></div><div>No, really... you don't.</div><div><br /></div><div>Susan, my thoughts are with you. I'm hoping for a speedy recovery and hope to hear more from you very soon. We need to get you out and back blogging again. Get well soon.</div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-42769853619384907722010-10-17T20:49:00.001+01:002010-10-17T20:51:00.856+01:00Must... sleep...<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioqz3p1L-ATPMSTq-O-7fT3HHPX85Nw2m-7Q57qHz8Mv4rZIvwmlak67irPIEB43Vlprwu4sDzLrL0aQ2Ugpm1YFYsBvXWQcn1xnahm22s27iqJGfjSf3FCk2y7UuPGN1BkSZLLVXqpoOl/s1600/Yawn.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472163999004848962" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 296px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioqz3p1L-ATPMSTq-O-7fT3HHPX85Nw2m-7Q57qHz8Mv4rZIvwmlak67irPIEB43Vlprwu4sDzLrL0aQ2Ugpm1YFYsBvXWQcn1xnahm22s27iqJGfjSf3FCk2y7UuPGN1BkSZLLVXqpoOl/s400/Yawn.jpg" border="0" /></a>So, so tired. Not a night goes by that I don't wake up at around 2am and that's me up for a few hours. Then there's the usual pre-7am wake-up call by my very own flesh and blood alarm clock that is my daughter.</div><div><br /></div><div>So tired.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyone still come by here? You know, just to poke my corpse with a stick or something? Oh, by the way, I have just joined Twitter. Em, I think it's here - <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15.8333px; "><a href="http://twitter.com/BitterAnimator">http://twitter.com/BitterAnimator</a> . I haven't yet tweeted much but, if you come across this, why not follow me and see if I tweet some more? Go on. You can always unfollow me if I'm rubbish at it.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15.8333px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15.8333px; ">So how have y'all been? I miss you blog guys and girls.</span></div><div><br /><div></div></div><div><br /></div><div><i>Edit: Wow, blogger just chooses my font sizes entirely at random. Thanks blogger.</i></div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-38854324089709434072010-07-22T16:58:00.009+01:002010-07-22T17:20:26.933+01:00One thing I found...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiejESwX0M40VoOKuIb3wtdPpFnRJos_2QJnokkG5a1ybckFqBQcF0X8l3fS1gABZOHcXFTtMfGt0p0gDP8knd27zoWk8m3g07xFBnd3ogbpYzXOL94IeySl8vDwhmllDl1tnVtdqx0PEu7/s1600/GMRef.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 328px; height: 480px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiejESwX0M40VoOKuIb3wtdPpFnRJos_2QJnokkG5a1ybckFqBQcF0X8l3fS1gABZOHcXFTtMfGt0p0gDP8knd27zoWk8m3g07xFBnd3ogbpYzXOL94IeySl8vDwhmllDl1tnVtdqx0PEu7/s400/GMRef.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496765918660036210" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF9q1uOsF-JNgeMuqJyY2NqTr-6aKdjYsjihBgVnRmqJrBe7K-jUJ_uINucB4QwvEFF2UexA9MInTb7825G0nOhGhLpfbVVUTr0f_z05o44DcswMKR1R-hpKmaoHTY44iYUDcrNAadnu-X/s1600/GMRef2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 328px; height: 480px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF9q1uOsF-JNgeMuqJyY2NqTr-6aKdjYsjihBgVnRmqJrBe7K-jUJ_uINucB4QwvEFF2UexA9MInTb7825G0nOhGhLpfbVVUTr0f_z05o44DcswMKR1R-hpKmaoHTY44iYUDcrNAadnu-X/s400/GMRef2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496765907473270162" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxNdi7QNLrYlQX1VbAXwpaBC93AfXEIlTAF0huWygE7AnCWfn9avLzDoN5_dcEyRzDd1swbIzTV_bGCt3Bc6S1LaeB5Aih_utqUET3qw5EVHghuBPS9L0J4dCneK97mZQ3nUvMGSh4jEbn/s1600/GMRef3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 328px; height: 480px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxNdi7QNLrYlQX1VbAXwpaBC93AfXEIlTAF0huWygE7AnCWfn9avLzDoN5_dcEyRzDd1swbIzTV_bGCt3Bc6S1LaeB5Aih_utqUET3qw5EVHghuBPS9L0J4dCneK97mZQ3nUvMGSh4jEbn/s400/GMRef3.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496765905420339842" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:15.8333px;">Thanks so much for the kind messages in the comments of my last message. I have been archiving stuff on a new hard drive and found a whole bunch of unfinished Medicated Life stuff that I never posted and thought I may as well put some up for you to see.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This is a few pages of a full-on story based on the time I discovered Flash animation quite a few years ago. You should be able to click on them for larger versions. It sort of went like the above images.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The last panel is unfinished but I decided that, as he had discovered some sort of mystical ability to make cartoons in an hour, he deserved a superhero outfit. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">He didn't like it.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:15.8333px;">Maybe at some stage, when my career comes to a crashing halt, I'll do a little graphic novel about my experiences in animation. Not saying it will be any good but it will pass the time. There's more where this came from so I may put up a few oldies as I find them.</span></div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-36312148647065593832010-07-08T21:58:00.004+01:002010-07-08T22:12:00.452+01:00Rise!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-aC86-wrQeHu2tV4EnyyN7o41kcA3hLzEPO7WqWBIY6yijYGKNF1wx1hhK-KcfrhranlISZtmrKGF1LVIHasOpXAmlW49XVVOiPvXYLdmyJ_Zj8pWsTvqG-UCIUpJUplNLnsq3jsNbSr6/s1600/GettingUp.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468105217459539266" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 296px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-aC86-wrQeHu2tV4EnyyN7o41kcA3hLzEPO7WqWBIY6yijYGKNF1wx1hhK-KcfrhranlISZtmrKGF1LVIHasOpXAmlW49XVVOiPvXYLdmyJ_Zj8pWsTvqG-UCIUpJUplNLnsq3jsNbSr6/s400/GettingUp.jpg" border="0" /></a> What the hell happened to June?!<br /><br />You know guys (well, me, because I'm likely the only one around), I've been thinking about retiring the blog. I'll explain why.<br /><br />I started this blog a few years ago simply to get stuff out there that I couldn't really say without the protection of an anonymous web space. I honestly didn't expect anyone to read it. But some did. And, as I went on, I found much more to say. And then I found a little less to say.<br /><br />I was hit with a realisation about a month or so ago -<br /><br />I'm in a business that has zero value (well, I know that and you know that because I've told you but I have only recently taken it in completely). It's not even a business because businesses make money. In spite of what I feel is an area of expertise and experience, I'm not making a huge amount of money. Or even an average amount of money.<br /><br />All I can do, every skill I've built up over the years, is effectively valueless.<br /><br />And I need to make some money.<br /><br />So I'm hiring myself out as a rentboy. Well, not yet. That's plan B. But what I am doing is trying to focus. For a while, trying to dump the projects that won't bring me in anything. You know the reason I take on most projects? Just to show I can. There are some projects, as I've mentioned here on this blog, that I see as really important. Contributions. Good for children. But others? No, I take them on to show I can and then lose interest.<br /><br />That's pointless.<br /><br />I'm learning the art of quitting. Quitting isn't a bad thing when the things you're quitting only serve to distract from what you <em>should</em> be doing.<br /><br />And what I feel I should be doing is focusing on finding a way I can deliver something really good for children, for parents too, that has a value to it. That will make me some money. And, given the state of this industry and the planet, that's a pretty tall order. Next to impossible. Everything right now is going against it.<br /><br />But I'm damn well going to try it.<br /><br /><br />This blog is not one of those pointless distractions. Yeah, it doesn't make me a penny but it has worth to me. It is a place I can talk about things that would otherwise just be thrown around inside my head until they damaged me. And, having a look through my archives this evening, I realised, even if I do say so myself, that there's some pretty good stuff here. I surprised myself a few time. I like this blog. It's a sort of home for a certain part of me. The Bitter Animator.<br /><br />But it takes up a lot of time.<br /><br />An amount of time that would probably surprise you. The drawings don't take all that long but the combination of text and images mounts up.<br /><br />With me trying to work hard on finding some new strategy, some new aim, and not always having topics jump out at me for the blog, it has been left behind a bit.<br /><br />And so I've been thinking about retiring the blog. My thinking was that it's probably better for those few of you who still check it to know if it's done or if there will ever be a post again.<br /><br />But I'm not sure I <em>can</em> retire it. I think I probably need it.<br /><br />Posts, however, are going to be pretty thin on the ground for some time. I hope that's okay. That's the right expression? Thin on the ground? Expressions aren't my strong point. If I do make some money, I'm pretty sure it won't be in the expressions industry.<br /><br />...<br /><br /><em>I was just checking this posted okay and saw the image below it. Me looking out at a blank space. I looked out and saw nothing a month ago. And, well, I think that nothing was an opportunity. I have taken on the challenge to fill that space. Looking at that image, it actually seems so obvious. That's why this blog is important, I guess. Sometimes it knows more about me than I do...</em><br /><em></em><br />Oh, one last thing, a guy called Ryan contacted me and I went looking at his site. Well, Ryan's introduction on his home page really touched me. And, while Ryan is dealing with some things I haven't had to, the more I read his posts, the more I could identify with them. If you get a chance, check out Ryan's site, <a href="http://www.mychemicalimbalance.com/index.php">My Chemical Imbalance.</a>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-82336086491948998072010-06-04T09:22:00.001+01:002010-06-04T09:22:41.947+01:00So what now?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxGWDLhtltk2hY8vMngozYcOCdo4ViQp2Slh_v13fZP4QThOZs-_BD6_oTEGQvhs5iFLsQoGcKws2OHJpIoh8A5cOaXUDnqjzb4MlTMLuSjJJ0MaGJnbuaQWY_gmDVRyXZl_aC7ZRo2el9/s1600/InFront.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5467332514121101106" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 296px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxGWDLhtltk2hY8vMngozYcOCdo4ViQp2Slh_v13fZP4QThOZs-_BD6_oTEGQvhs5iFLsQoGcKws2OHJpIoh8A5cOaXUDnqjzb4MlTMLuSjJJ0MaGJnbuaQWY_gmDVRyXZl_aC7ZRo2el9/s400/InFront.jpg" border="0" /></a>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7170007670756935047.post-8664686734365144672010-06-01T10:53:00.001+01:002010-06-01T10:53:29.496+01:00Dead flies<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiF41iVsAbUlwuaf8_1RaJJnafQ6Nnq7DcHqYZlt6pswT1FBmMfvf3-f4f74H9A8Sy4zPIRlLQUoWoMy-kW1JaeE1q6Ki1MDiXayt0uaWcEjatBOt8mbpbBVrgRQoc3_J9_PPnE7afXn1i/s1600/Flies.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472535945474896850" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 296px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiF41iVsAbUlwuaf8_1RaJJnafQ6Nnq7DcHqYZlt6pswT1FBmMfvf3-f4f74H9A8Sy4zPIRlLQUoWoMy-kW1JaeE1q6Ki1MDiXayt0uaWcEjatBOt8mbpbBVrgRQoc3_J9_PPnE7afXn1i/s400/Flies.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>I was looking at a graveyard of splatted flies in front of me and couldn't help wondering about my own life. Our lives.<br /></div><div>I don't know how many flies there are but there's an absolute shitload of us. And we die all the time. We're born and then BAM! Dead. That's it. Two generations later, we may as well never have existed.</div><br /><div>Our atoms, those things that made up each of our parts, are still there though, right? We're all just made up of bits. Not all that different to the flies. To a chair. Anything. Just a bunch of stuff that came together and made a form. Could actively move those atoms around.</div><br /><div>Isn't that amazing? That we can group these parts together and move them around in space actively, with our own thoughts? Which, in turn, are some incredibly complex organisation of these parts and impulses from one to another. It is amazing. In many ways, it's totally and utterly unbelievable.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Am I to believe this is an accident?</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>That our self-awareness is little more than an accidental curse? A by-product of a random system created by millions of years of chaos?</div><div></div><br /><div>That looking down on Earth, we're nothing more than the movement of atoms brought together by gravity?</div><div></div><br /><div>Doesn't sound quite right. It actually doesn't sound all that likely. </div><br /><div>If it is, it's not likely that we'd be unique. The only ones here. There must be others like us (at least in some ways) in the Universe. You know, now that I think about it, it's weird to think that there is so much life, has been so much life, all over our planet... and we're the only ones writing books? Painting pictures? Wasting our time on blogs? How is it we have come so far and not one of those millions of other life forms on our planet haven't?</div><br /><div>There's not just one life form that can swim. Not just one that has camouflage. Not just one that can light up. Not just one that can use sonar.<br /></div><div>But there is just one that can make a television. Build a car. Flip a burger.</div><br /><div>That just doesn't sound likely to me.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>There's something not quite right about our whole existence. It just doesn't sound likely to me.</div>Bitter Animatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06617537816971588380noreply@blogger.com9