My Medicated Cartoon Life

Snow angels

2011-12-19T15:09:00.004Z

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post! The first post here in a loooooong time. Special thanks to Holly, Susan's cat who gave me a mention here - This Week in Mentalists

I would put a nicer link but Blogger seems to have gone all minimalist on me and removed just about every formatting option short of posting a pic. Why, Blogger? Why?! (Edit: Think I have it sorted. Just Google and their endless mission to make stuff worse).

So it's Christmas time and, you know what? I'm feeling Christmassy. Wasn't the easiest year, not by a long shot. We're in a world of uncertainty and, for what is really the first time since the 2008 recession hit, my own work has been on the chopping block. But my latest project has just been given a last minute reprieve. My father passed away this year. That sucked on a few levels. We weren't close so part of me thinks I was protected from a certain level of grief and yet it just meant the whole thing was messy. What was unresolved will now stay unresolved forever.

So, yeah. Not the easiest year.

But a good year.

A year in which I realised just how much support I have. And not just that it's me and people supporting me or me supporting them. I really felt that a whole bunch of us are in this together. And I count many of you out there in the blogoshpere in that too. A unity. Not a perfect unity. But a strong one.

Life won't always be easy. Yes, a dog may take a piss on us while we make snow angels but who cares? We'll have made snow angels!

I hope you all make snow angels.

Have a very happy Christmas/holiday season/Winter Wonderland/Snowy Surprise or whatever it is you all celebrate. Stay well!

December again

2011-12-07T09:56:00.002Z

Every now and again, I come back to this place... my old blog. There is a lot to look back on and always a reminder of a particular time in my life. A while before I sort of wound down the blog, I stuck in one of those Google Analytics code things to see how many people were coming to the blog. Turns out it was pretty popular.

Obviously lack of posts caused that number to go down and down. But, looking at the little graph now, somewhere in October it began to go up. And it rose through November to now. Why? Was someone linking to my blog? Writing about it?

No.

It was simply coming up in Google searches more as more people searched for information on 'depression'. It's that dark time of year. Wouldn't it be nice to take my increasing numbers as something positive? The truth is, it's a bad sign for many people. I think I'd be happy if my blog never came up in searches again because nobody needed to know anything about depression any more. Because it was a thing of the past.

But it's not.

Depression is still all around us. Probably more now than ever. It's a tough time of year for many. But you know what? This is why I appreciate all those who blog about depression and tell their stories. So that people who realise they or a loved one may be facing depression have somewhere to go. Real survival stories to read. And even the stories that did not have happy endings, to serve as a reminder that, sometimes, people need help and it's not always obvious. Every one of you who have written about depression help.

Being that darker time of year, I hope you're all doing okay and are looking out for yourselves and others.

And those writing about animation, well look, some people are just beyond help. Making films a frame at a time? Honestly, it's too late for those people. Just get out before they drag you down with them.

All quiet

2011-04-09T11:27:00.000+01:00

Yes, all quiet here. Just trying to survive. Not always easy. But I'm still going. If you have happened upon this somewhat dormant blog by accident, why not have a browse through the archives? I do, every now and again. There's some good stuff in there, even if I do say so myself. Makes me feel guilty for not keeping the place updated regularly. But I guess that is the way of blogs.

While you're here, though, you should check out these blogs and sites. These are friends of the blog or just places I enjoy. Check them all out -

Prozacville is as bad as I am for updates but there's loads of great stuff in the archives. Little comics about life. Funny, silly in places and yet very honest. In a stroke of genius, also included in each post is a soundtrack.

Susan is a good friend here at Medicated Cartoon Life. She's had it rough at times but, man, she's a fighter and her blog is a testament to that.

The Daily Grail is a place that will open your mind. Their Red Pill Junkie is also a good friend here and his comments have always been insightful, enjoyable and often eye-opening. The Daily Grail is well worth a regular read. You'll find some gems there.

This is a pretty new one. Honest to Goodness Genuine Humans. It's a funny cartoon blog from the guy who brought us Too Many Zombies. With some great one-liners and some with a real sideways look at life, it's a fun one. You can (and should) follow them on Twitter here for even more.

I'm on Twitter too as the BitterAnimator so feel free to follow me if you like and send me a tweet so I know who you are for a follow back. I'll admit I really don't tweet very much, just like blogging now I guess, but I'm there and I read and tweet the odd time.

So go read all those sites. Enjoy them. Tell your friends, tweet about them, blog about them, post them on reddit or any of those sites because they deserve your attention. And tell them a Bitter Animator sent you. And bug the Prozacville guy for more posts because they're excellent.

Hope everyone who happens upon this post is doing well. If you found your way here via depression, be strong brothers and sisters - it may not be you, it really might be the world that's sick. If you found your way here via animation, strive for the best. You're in one of the most specialised yet unrewarded businesses and you're all creative, fantastic people (well, most of you).

And to everyone else, I'll say this - the old models are crumbling. Your time will come.

What I'm likely to find...

2011-03-13T10:46:00.001Z

Wonders of the Universe - order to chaos

2011-03-07T16:15:00.005Z

The new Prof. Brian Cox series, Wonders of the Universe, began last night. And it sparked a lot of questions for me and got me thinking. And, since those thoughts aren't really appropriate elsewhere, they're going here! Hello! Sorry for not being around much or being in touch. Life is going in a few different directions.

Anyway, Wonders... the main point of the first episode was that time flows in one direction and that direction is oblivion. Pretty much. Everything tends towards chaos. Order breaks down and things decay. Merging together to form amorphous nothingness.

Low entropy eventually becomes high entropy. Low entropy being ordered, yet fragile.

So the example Prof. Cox used was a sandcastle he built. An ordered form. What will happen to that sandcastle is obvious - it will eventually break down, through winds or any other force. It will tend towards a big ol' pile of sand.

The idea was that the Universe began with low entropy, very ordered (was it really?) and, as we move through time, it moves towards high entropy. Like a sandcastle falling apart.

The big question not asked in the show, however, was this - if everything breaks down and physical laws all point towards that chaos, where did that initial order come from? As Prof. Cox tweeted after the show, "the origin of low entropy in the universe at the big bang is probably THE biggest mystery in cosmology." As far as I know, the current thinking is that the Universe just spontaneously came into being.

Prof. Cox likes to use Earthly examples to illustrate his points, like the sandcastle. Firstly, it makes things easier to understand and, secondly, the same laws often work here and out in the Universe. Or at least versions of those laws. But, man, I can't think of any time I have heard of anything spontaneously coming into being. Physicists may have examples. They're not common, I'm sure.

But Prof. Cox, without bringing it up, presented a very easy answer to the question - where did that low entropy come from? At least in the ordered way he presented it.

You see, while the Universe may well tend towards chaos, order is created every day. Every second. Right now, raw materials are coming together into new ordered shapes. Because we make order out of chaos. Consciousness tends towards order. We build boxy houses, sleek cars, clothes, arcade machines. While the Universe conspires to destroy those things, we strive to make them. We create order.

In building a sandcastle, Prof. Cox presented an Earthly example of just how low entropy situations are created.

A conscious mind takes chaos, and puts order to it.

Is this a God post?! Well, you see, the whole God thing leads the thought off in a whole other direction. The problem with a God is this - the people being vocal about a god, pretty much no matter who they are, seem to present God as an all-knowing, ever-present being. They present the idea of 'intelligent design'. And the atheists and scientists pull this apart - if it's so intelligent, how come we have an appendix? How come the world is a complete shithole? What the hell kind of god allows that?

I come down on the side of the scientists on this. This isn't about some divine being.

But... that doesn't mean there wasn't some creator of sorts. He/she/it could be long gone/dead/uninterested/absent parent. It doesn't mean a conscious mind didn't initially create those original conditions that have eventually led to the clearly imperfect us.

Is the idea that the Universe was actively created unlikely?

Look around you. Most of what you see was actively created. I have spent most of my life creating worlds. Every time you go and see a movie, you're seeing a created world. Every computer game and programme is a created world. What you're reading this on right now has been created. We create. Order from chaos. We tend towards order.

And look at what we can create now compared with what we could create just a few hundred years ago. How does the world of Tron Legacy compare with a play put on in a field? How does Sim City compare with a porcelain doll?

Give us a few thousand years. What then will we be able to create? Whole worlds? Easily. Whole Universes? Given the time, I don't see why not. Whether the Universe was created or not, we're going to be doing it ourselves soon. If we can do it, not only does it not seem a stretch that someone else could do it, it seems pretty arrogant to think otherwise.

Brian Cox made a sandcastle. He showed the answer. It seems so obvious.

I wonder what he'd think if he knew it made me a believer in a creator?

Is that a faint smile?

2010-12-24T09:40:00.000Z

It's Christmas!

Hope everyone who has made their way to this fairly inactive blog has a wonderful Christmas! Or whatever holidays you celebrate. Or don't. It's fine just to wish you some wonderful days, I think. Happy Friday and Saturday all!

Unless you don't recognise the traditional week and then it all gets quite difficult.

I think it's been both a great and crappy year for the world overall. Great in that whole systems fell apart economically revealing the fragility and sustainability of systems based on bullshit, truths were revealed that we all suspected and the world has fewer lies today than it did this time last year. Crappy because the worst we suspected has been confirmed and very few seem to be bothered to do anything about it. So the world is a bit more apathetic and hypocritical than this time last year.

But, hey... there's always 2011! The year people take the world back? Or at least consider it? Let's hope so.

Between now and then, however, take the time off. Let yourself off the hook. The world's ills are not your ills. Let them go for a while. And have a lovely holiday time with friends and family. Just enjoy it.

Happy Christmas all!

Oh, but if you do find yourself dwelling on the world, please consider making a donation to the defense fund of Bradley Manning, the soldier suspected of leaking confidential documents. He is being treated hideously and is being punished without even a verdict yet. If he is innocent, he needs all the help he can get. If he is guilty, well... if he is guilty, the man is a hero, putting his conscience above blind orders and has done the world a favour. Either way, he needs support. I have donated and wish Bradley Manning as happy a Christmas as he can possibly have under the conditions he is being kept in.

Where is the reaction to Wikileaks?

2010-12-09T15:36:00.001Z

No, I don't mean hailing Julian Assange as the new messiah or, alternatively, calling for him to be murdered in cold blood. I mean, beyond the weird Cult of Assange thing that's going on.

Wikileaks, for a large part, isn't telling us stuff we hadn't already suspected. You could go as far as to say that most of it we already knew. But there's 'knowing' something and it going on somewhere far away and maybe it's real and maybe it's not, and there's 'knowing' something as in it is out there in the open and in your face. Wikileaks is making the former into the latter.

And, for me, it pretty much makes the entire Western world a hideous place of hypocrisy, lies and heinous crimes.

In our name.

They are our governments. Our corporations. We live in their countries. We buy their products. We work for them. They pay our wages and we pay their taxes. We support it. And now we can't even pretend not to know about it. We are now accomplices if we do not make a stand.

And I find it hilarious that some condemn Wikileaks for this. Call for them to be shut down. Call for the death of Assange. Really? Calling for someones death because they had the balls to get the truth out there?! Because they got your crimes out in the open? Because they make it harder for you to pretend this shit doesn't happen. Makes a mockery of every working day in the Western world. Freedom? Nope, we don't have that. Morals? Not a fucking chance. We'll make people disappear and torture them with no problem. Funny too that a big deal was made of that one German who was taken and held without trial or due process because it turned out he was the wrong guy. Even if he was the right guy, it's STILL WRONG!

And I say a big deal was made of it but only within the limited press reporting on the leaks.

No arrests have been made. Except for Jesus 2, Julian Assange, who I'm really suspect about altogether but that's a separate issue. Where is the real reaction? The outrage? The arrests for crimes that have come out in the open with these cables?

Where is the reaction?

As far as I'm concerned, these leaks simply make real what most of us suspected. And what that does is make a complete mockery of the Western world. Not just the US. Every country. Hell, not even just the Western world. The whole thing. It's a mess. A complete utter joke. These governments have outlived their usefulness. The corporations should be torn down. This entire society should be allowed to fall apart so it can build something new.

Something better.

For the people. Not for the money. Not for politics. Not for pure evil. For the people.

Just the people.

Lost At Sea

2010-12-04T09:54:00.001Z

Had some really great news over email - Susan (see earlier post) is out of hospital. Sounds like she has been through the wars but she is out and with her family (though not yet with her beloved cat). Get well soon, Susan! There has been a hole in blogland without you.

As for me, healthwise, I'm fine and feel I should be very grateful for that. I say fine but who knows what time bomb I have under my skin. With bailouts, IMFs and various aimlessness, things all feel a bit bleak.

You know you need something else in your life when you're going to the toilet just for something to do...

Any Irish people?

2010-11-26T15:55:00.003Z

I don't know if I have any Irish people at all who pass by the blog but, if I do, you'll know all the crap going on at the moment. You're probably sick of it. For those who don't know, the gist is this:

The country is down the crapper. The banks got us down the crapper and the government pushed us right in there by then pouring money into the banks - paying private debt with public money. Now, the government is looking to get funds from the IMF, which will cripple the country, and make the poor, the young and the middle classes pay for those bank debts and new IMF debts while destroying the economy. The current government will be voted out in January, and yet they are being allowed lock us into this crap so the next government can't do a thing other than bitch about how the previous government got them into trouble.

And they'll do it because Irish people have a nasty habit of just accepting shit and moaning about it in the pub.

Don't accept it.

It's not too late. It doesn't have to happen. Every economist on the planet says this is not the way to go. Says that there are other options. Politically, there are also other options. The parties could prevent the budget going through and force a general election. If these other options aren't explored, we are screwed. And our children are screwed.

Moaning in the pub is not going to help.

There is a demonstration tomorrow, Saturday November 27th, in Dublin at Wood Quay, 12 noon. It was started by some union I don't support but this is not about unions. It's about every person in Ireland. So please make the effort to get out there and make your voice heard. The people of this country can change it.

Don't let the gobshites chuck a grenade before they leave.

Get well soon, Susan!

2010-11-21T21:19:00.003Z

Susan Schechter, author of the excellent blog, 'If you're going through hell, keep going', sent me a message to let me know she is in hospital. I don't have many details but there is a post here from one of her friends explaining the situation.

Susan is a regular commenter here, a very good blog buddy of mine and an all-round fantastic person so the news that her kidneys have failed is really alarming. As said on her friend's blog, "26 years on Lithium has taken its toll". Thanks Pharma - you guys rock!

No, really... you don't.

Susan, my thoughts are with you. I'm hoping for a speedy recovery and hope to hear more from you very soon. We need to get you out and back blogging again. Get well soon.

Must... sleep...

2010-10-17T20:49:00.001+01:00

So, so tired. Not a night goes by that I don't wake up at around 2am and that's me up for a few hours. Then there's the usual pre-7am wake-up call by my very own flesh and blood alarm clock that is my daughter.

So tired.

Anyone still come by here? You know, just to poke my corpse with a stick or something? Oh, by the way, I have just joined Twitter. Em, I think it's here - http://twitter.com/BitterAnimator . I haven't yet tweeted much but, if you come across this, why not follow me and see if I tweet some more? Go on. You can always unfollow me if I'm rubbish at it.

So how have y'all been? I miss you blog guys and girls.

Edit: Wow, blogger just chooses my font sizes entirely at random. Thanks blogger.

One thing I found...

2010-07-22T16:58:00.009+01:00

Thanks so much for the kind messages in the comments of my last message. I have been archiving stuff on a new hard drive and found a whole bunch of unfinished Medicated Life stuff that I never posted and thought I may as well put some up for you to see.

This is a few pages of a full-on story based on the time I discovered Flash animation quite a few years ago. You should be able to click on them for larger versions. It sort of went like the above images.

The last panel is unfinished but I decided that, as he had discovered some sort of mystical ability to make cartoons in an hour, he deserved a superhero outfit.

He didn't like it.

Maybe at some stage, when my career comes to a crashing halt, I'll do a little graphic novel about my experiences in animation. Not saying it will be any good but it will pass the time. There's more where this came from so I may put up a few oldies as I find them.

Rise!

2010-07-08T21:58:00.004+01:00

What the hell happened to June?!

You know guys (well, me, because I'm likely the only one around), I've been thinking about retiring the blog. I'll explain why.

I started this blog a few years ago simply to get stuff out there that I couldn't really say without the protection of an anonymous web space. I honestly didn't expect anyone to read it. But some did. And, as I went on, I found much more to say. And then I found a little less to say.

I was hit with a realisation about a month or so ago -

I'm in a business that has zero value (well, I know that and you know that because I've told you but I have only recently taken it in completely). It's not even a business because businesses make money. In spite of what I feel is an area of expertise and experience, I'm not making a huge amount of money. Or even an average amount of money.

All I can do, every skill I've built up over the years, is effectively valueless.

And I need to make some money.

So I'm hiring myself out as a rentboy. Well, not yet. That's plan B. But what I am doing is trying to focus. For a while, trying to dump the projects that won't bring me in anything. You know the reason I take on most projects? Just to show I can. There are some projects, as I've mentioned here on this blog, that I see as really important. Contributions. Good for children. But others? No, I take them on to show I can and then lose interest.

That's pointless.

I'm learning the art of quitting. Quitting isn't a bad thing when the things you're quitting only serve to distract from what you should be doing.

And what I feel I should be doing is focusing on finding a way I can deliver something really good for children, for parents too, that has a value to it. That will make me some money. And, given the state of this industry and the planet, that's a pretty tall order. Next to impossible. Everything right now is going against it.

But I'm damn well going to try it.

This blog is not one of those pointless distractions. Yeah, it doesn't make me a penny but it has worth to me. It is a place I can talk about things that would otherwise just be thrown around inside my head until they damaged me. And, having a look through my archives this evening, I realised, even if I do say so myself, that there's some pretty good stuff here. I surprised myself a few time. I like this blog. It's a sort of home for a certain part of me. The Bitter Animator.

But it takes up a lot of time.

An amount of time that would probably surprise you. The drawings don't take all that long but the combination of text and images mounts up.

With me trying to work hard on finding some new strategy, some new aim, and not always having topics jump out at me for the blog, it has been left behind a bit.

And so I've been thinking about retiring the blog. My thinking was that it's probably better for those few of you who still check it to know if it's done or if there will ever be a post again.

But I'm not sure I can retire it. I think I probably need it.

Posts, however, are going to be pretty thin on the ground for some time. I hope that's okay. That's the right expression? Thin on the ground? Expressions aren't my strong point. If I do make some money, I'm pretty sure it won't be in the expressions industry.

...

I was just checking this posted okay and saw the image below it. Me looking out at a blank space. I looked out and saw nothing a month ago. And, well, I think that nothing was an opportunity. I have taken on the challenge to fill that space. Looking at that image, it actually seems so obvious. That's why this blog is important, I guess. Sometimes it knows more about me than I do...

Oh, one last thing, a guy called Ryan contacted me and I went looking at his site. Well, Ryan's introduction on his home page really touched me. And, while Ryan is dealing with some things I haven't had to, the more I read his posts, the more I could identify with them. If you get a chance, check out Ryan's site, My Chemical Imbalance.

So what now?

2010-06-04T09:22:00.001+01:00

Dead flies

2010-06-01T10:53:00.001+01:00

I was looking at a graveyard of splatted flies in front of me and couldn't help wondering about my own life. Our lives.

I don't know how many flies there are but there's an absolute shitload of us. And we die all the time. We're born and then BAM! Dead. That's it. Two generations later, we may as well never have existed.

Our atoms, those things that made up each of our parts, are still there though, right? We're all just made up of bits. Not all that different to the flies. To a chair. Anything. Just a bunch of stuff that came together and made a form. Could actively move those atoms around.

Isn't that amazing? That we can group these parts together and move them around in space actively, with our own thoughts? Which, in turn, are some incredibly complex organisation of these parts and impulses from one to another. It is amazing. In many ways, it's totally and utterly unbelievable.

Am I to believe this is an accident?

That our self-awareness is little more than an accidental curse? A by-product of a random system created by millions of years of chaos?

That looking down on Earth, we're nothing more than the movement of atoms brought together by gravity?

Doesn't sound quite right. It actually doesn't sound all that likely.

If it is, it's not likely that we'd be unique. The only ones here. There must be others like us (at least in some ways) in the Universe. You know, now that I think about it, it's weird to think that there is so much life, has been so much life, all over our planet... and we're the only ones writing books? Painting pictures? Wasting our time on blogs? How is it we have come so far and not one of those millions of other life forms on our planet haven't?

There's not just one life form that can swim. Not just one that has camouflage. Not just one that can light up. Not just one that can use sonar.

But there is just one that can make a television. Build a car. Flip a burger.

That just doesn't sound likely to me.

There's something not quite right about our whole existence. It just doesn't sound likely to me.

Having to end it...

2010-05-27T15:18:00.002+01:00

Thing is, I knew this wasn't going to work right back when he came on board. Well, Colonel Ginger Nuts has to go. He just isn't cut out for children's shows.

And it's not a pleasant conversation.

Never should have happened in the first place. I said the project was shit. Said it from day one. And, in cases like this, I hate being right. So now it's taken well over a year to get to a point where the realisation kicks in that this man will never turn it into something good.

Now, it's up to other writers to try to make this into something other than a train wreck. And someone has to explain to this guy why he's not going to get to work on this show he created and will never see in its current form ever again.

I hope it's not me.

How many drafts?

2010-05-24T09:14:00.001+01:00

I'm rapidly losing the will to live.

The reason I didn't want to write on this project was that I thought it was utter cack. Why would I spend my effort trying to turn something awful into something slightly less awful? Seems like a losing battle.

So I'm not writing it.

But, by the looks of what I am being given to read, nor is anyone else. I need to not even be aware of this project's existence. I need it to go away.

Go away piece of shit project with your shit writers. Go away.

Distributors

2010-05-21T09:15:00.002+01:00

Does anyone out there have any positive stories about distributors?

Anyone?

Hello?

Even one?

No. No, I didn't think so. It's funny - I thought it was just the distribution company our show was with. I thought we went with a pack of monkeys and all those other distributors were great. After all, many distributors have great visibility in the business. They must all be great while we were lumbered with idiots.

Turns out everyone feels the same.

People on big shows with high-profile distributors have nothing but horror stories about how their show has been treated. Everyone feeling they went with the wrong distributor. And that's a real problem.

You see, when a show is made (as ours is now), it falls to the distributor to sell the show, usually internationally. They have to find the best platforms for the show, try to hype it up as much as they can, get it the best time slots from broadcasters. They have to find licensing deals, build what they would call a brand. Get books into shops. Toys if people want them. That sort of thing. Take the raw materials that are the show itself and get it out there.

Handing a show over to a distributor is like handing your child over...

...to an abusive coke addict who barely knows or cares that your child exists.

Things I have seen from distributors that bug the living shit out of me:

- Not actually getting to know the show. Like, not even watching the goddam episodes. How can you possibly expect to sell something if you don't know what it is?!

- Trying to tell the show makers who live with the show every single day what the show is or should be, even though they don't know the show, as in the previous point.

- Not talking to other people within their company. Seriously - do you guys spend so much time glued to your Blackberries that you can't even talk to somebody in the next room? Stop asking for the same shit all the time when the people in your office already have it.

- Not forming any sort of strategy. Probably as a result of the previous point, distributors routinely wander around aimlessly until those few minutes a month they decide they should do something. Without the preparation and resources, they achieve nothing.

- Spending more time coming up with reasons why things won't work or can't happen than actually trying to find out what you can do. We've made a show. That's an uphill struggle. We know all about how difficult things can be. We don't care. What you can't do isn't worth shit to us. Go do something.

The list goes on and on...

How most of these people keep their jobs is absolutely beyond me. Actually, some distributors have a fairly high rate of staff turnover so maybe they don't. And of course, because they don't actually ever communicate with people in their own company, every time someone leaves it is like starting from scratch. The new person will be sure to tell us just what great things they've worked on. But that silence when we ask them a question about our show tells us so much more.

In a way, I suppose it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who ended up with a fuckwit for a distributor.

Oh and if any distributor comes across this, you know I don't mean you, right? It's those other distributors...

Remakes

2010-05-18T09:18:00.001+01:00

Yeah, yeah so you're going to say, oh but The Thing is a remake and that's great. And The Fly. And...

No.

I've had a lot of discussion recently about remakes (because there are so many of them) and any remake you can name that was actually good, you have to go back about 20 years or more to find. They were made because someone thought they could make a great movie out of the concept. They weren't made during a time of total creative bankrupcy and cynical lowest-common-denominator film financing.

Oh, but what about Dawn of the...

No.

That wasn't a remake. It shared the name of a movie and one location - a shopping mall. That's it. No characters were brought over. Not the story. It didn't even have zombies in it. Wasn't a remake.

The use of the title there was little more than a symptom of the problem. Slap a name on it that people will recognise and hope that will sell it. Do you think The Thing really had any value in its name? Wasn't even the full title of the original movie. Was a whole different time when Carpenter made that movie.

Modern remakes are not made with love. They are dead. Soulless. Especially those that are remakes of current movies that just happen to be made in a language other than English.

They're shit.

And that's why I don't watch them.

The come down is a bitch

2010-05-13T09:21:00.002+01:00

The crash at the end of long creative projects is apparently very common. Someone once told me that there is a course in dealing with it for actors. I wonder if I could find it and sign up.

With a quiet studio and empty desks, after so much creativity, I feel isolated. Empty.

Something happens when you move up the chain in animation (and probably any creative business). When you get to a certain level, where you're calling the shots, you can inspire others, you can get people to go along with your vision (however misguided), you can have a whole team of people willing to help you, wanting to help you...

And yet, as that happens, a gap forms between you and them.

An isolation.

As much as this business depends on being part of a team, the old expression of it being lonely at the top is true. Worse, if you're not at the top but at least in the upper part, you have the loneliness without the security of being overlord of all you survey. You're just overlord of a few little things.

Overlord for a brief period. But the isolation lasts longer and hits so much harder when the project is over. At that point, you no longer have a team of people around you willing to help. They're now just colleagues, distanced by some change in dynamic.

I'm in a void right now.

Early learners

2010-05-10T09:44:00.003+01:00

Susan sent me this link to this rather fancy new children's furniture - their very own cubicle. Well, maybe they didn't intend for it to be represented in that way. Maybe not. But that's what it is.

I couldn't help thinking about the role of children's shows when I saw that. Of course, I'm always thinking about children's shows. It's what I do. But have you seen Higglytown Heroes? It's rather entertaining but the message of every show is that you should work hard. Each episode highlights a different job and shows how important they are to the community.

They're heroes you see.

It's quite a nice thought actually. The local pizza delivery guy does deserve credit. Many people doing their day to day jobs deserve more credit than they get.

But the message in each show seems to be simply - get out there and work, children! Work! Work! Work!

And I can't help wondering who those children are going to end up working for. Children learn from television and this is one show that has a clear message it is teaching. Some are less clear and some are plain disturbing (I may review some children's shows at some point, showing the lessons as they appear).

I've rambled on in the past about how we're living in this age of distraction. Bombarded by choices and yet also shackled by the things we think we need or should have.

Not shackled simply because that's the way life went or just happened to end up. No. Shackled because it serves some people's interests to keep us that way. Like modern day slaves.

But willing slaves.

And to make someone a willing slave, just like getting them hooked into a cult, you have to do a certain amount of conditioning. If you expect it to continue all their lives, you have to do a lot of conditioning. And that has to start early.

That's what schools are for, I guess.

Many schools grew from a need to create work forces of a certain level and, importantly, with certain leanings and loyalties in how they think. Often religiously motivated. To serve the machine.

We still do that today, but it's corporations now. The religion aspect has faded somewhat, though the history of the corporation seems tied to religion if you go back far enough - that's simply about who was holding the power at the time.

Now, we're creating our work force even before school. With shows, toy furniture. It's conditioning.

Is this conditioning something we should accept?

Or reject?

Well it's a popular name...

2010-05-04T09:00:00.007+01:00

Cartoon Brew reported on a Draw Mohammed Day that seemed to be gathering support on Facebook, in response to the censorship of a recent South Park episode. It started just as a little cartoon, not a real thing and people have jumped on the idea and it gathered momentum. The idea is this - on May 20th, loads of people will draw Mohammed in protest over censorship that comes about through threats and intimidation. I guess it's safety in numbers.

As I read the comments and discussed it with others on the Brew boards, my thoughts on it went back and forth quite a bit. I'm still not 100% sure what I think of it to be honest.

My first immediate thought was that this is a great idea. Simply because I don't think people should bow to threats. That shouldn't be indulged. And I object to the idea that somebody elses religious beliefs should dictate what I should or shouldn't do.

There have been many comments that say this drawing day would be disrespectful to ordinary Muslims. This is true, and unfortunate. But that anyone should be driven by fear to censor a point that, actually, was about censorship, well, where's the respect there?

But it's not so much about respect really. It's about fear. Fear of death threats like those going back all the way to Salman Rushdie. Fear of those threats being carried out, like they were with provocative filmmaker Theo Van Gogh.

The world has been tip-toeing around recently for fear of becoming the next target. I know I'm pretty sure I don't have the balls to take part in Draw Mohammed Day.

That is all sorts of wrong.

And it's not really about Islam. It could be any religion, group, whatever. It is not right to threaten others who don't follow your beliefs. Not right to kill them. Not right to censor them through fear. It could be death threats from tea-drinking vicars, morris dancers, shoemaker elves. Really doesn't matter who it is.

And when people are pushed, as they are right now, sooner or later, they push back. First in small ways, like this drawing day. And then in bigger ways. It's not going to end well. I don't like it one bit. Worst thing is, this fear may give some sort of power to Muslim extremists, but it's going to give far more power to those who wish to spread anti-Muslim hate.

It's not going to end well.

No, I don't think I'll be drawing Mohammed. Not out of respect. Out of fear. They rarely go together. I may make my own little protest. Draw a pig or something. But not Mohammed.

I'll leave this with a thought I had on that Brew posts about beliefs. For me, if the systems and beliefs can stand up to scrutiny, can feel that certain and that right, they shouldn’t ever need threats to back them up. They are what they are. If I’m wrong, I hope it’s Allah or God himself who sorts me out in an afterlife, not a fallible mortal who takes it on himself to act on what he perceives to be the word of an almighty.

Free shows!

2010-04-27T08:49:00.003+01:00

More about free stuff and value. Not interns this time. This time, it's shows.

Television shows cost a hell of a lot more to make than a chocolate bar, so it's odd that so many programme makers would be willing to give their shows away for free, isn't it? Or even offer to pay to have their shows aired.

But it happens.

Just recently, a fairly new show gave a whole second series to one of the bigger (maybe biggest) children's channels over here for free. Well, not quite free. In return, they wanted a better time slot, just like the guy selling chocolate bars above. They wanted to have some say on when the show aired and that was worth giving the entire series away for no money whatsoever.

It's something I've mentioned before - the value of what many of us do in this industry is zero. Sometimes less than zero.

And you've got to wonder where they're making their money. Well, they're hoping it's in licensing and merchandising. Selling shit to your kids. That's what it comes down to.

There have been criticisms in the past that children's television is no more than dressed-up advertising. So many of the popular 80s cartoons were toy properties and were little more than cynical marketing ploys. Ploys many of us remember with fond nostalgia. Because we were total suckers. We were just children - a completely innocent audience. A victim unable to distinguish between entertainment and exploitation.

With shows being given away for free, that criticism needs to be brought to the fore right now. Because, unfortunately, it can be the only way these shows remain, like Michael Douglas in Falling Down, commercially viable. Either people need to accept that in order to get television shows for their children, they need to allow their children to be targets of advertising (and I don't think people should ever accept that)....

Or...

The entire business model of children's television needs to be torn down, examined and rebuilt.

Searching...

2010-04-19T09:26:00.002+01:00

I don't have a dog right now. But this is what I'd be doing if I did.

I'm not really a spiritual person at all. I have questions with no answers and other questions with answers I don't like but don't really believe in a huge amount. But two things seem to allow me to go beyond what I see day to day. Just glimpses, probably just into my subconscious... but maybe to something more than that.

Music and dogs.

Music goes deep inside. Like that guy from Inner Space. Inside and then it sort of plants little bombs that go off, waking something up inside.

Dogs are different. It's not like I'd listen to dogs for any length of time. And barking isn't all that soothing. Certainly not approaching anything spiritual. But, with dogs, I see something in their eyes. I don't know what it is. Something familiar, something special.

I even see it in the stupid ones. Possibly more so in the stupid ones. Yes, so some will eat their own vomit or worse. And they sniff each others posteriors. And lick themselves in... well, you know.

But there's something more there.

Not in cats. I know some of you are cat people but cats are up to something entirely different. I don't trust them.

But dogs... dogs are special. If I had time, a lot of music and a dog, I'm pretty sure I could unlock the secrets of the Universe.

Learn from the Apple App Store

2010-04-13T09:13:00.002+01:00

Just a little bit more on working for free.

Apps on the iPhone are pretty damn cheap. Many are free. Some fantastic ones are free actually. But invariably the free ones have much more one-star ratings (or even no-star if that's possible). This happens no matter how good the app may be.

Often, the more expensive an app is, the fewer one-star ratings it gets.

People pay for things they value. But it works the other way around too -

We value that which we pay for.

So, on the app store, it's easy to see how that works. People download a free app, load it up for thirty seconds (if even), don't instantly get hooked and then delete it, which hitting it with a one-star rating. If they've paid a tenner for that app, it becomes worth their time to really try the app out, get used to it, see if it has more to offer than it appears on the surface. By dumping it too early, they could miss out and lose the investment they put in to pay for it in the first place.

The same is true for employment.

If someone has invested even a week's wages on you, they'll be more likely to put the time into teaching you what you need to know. More likely to pay attention to what you do. More likely to look for the value you bring.

Less likely to give you that one-star rating.

And less likely to dump your sorry ass out on the streets.

Stockholm Syndrome for animators

2010-04-07T08:49:00.002+01:00

Cartoon Brew reported on a piece in the New York Times about unpaid internships. Specifically, that they may be illegal. The piece called out Little Airplane, makers of Wonder Pets -

"At Little Airplane, a Manhattan children’s film company, an N.Y.U. student who hoped to work in animation during her unpaid internship said she was instead assigned to the facilities department and ordered to wipe the door handles each day to minimize the spread of swine flu."

In the comments in the Cartoon Brew piece, many came on anonymously not only backing it up but making out that things are far, far worse. Unpaid interns being completely mistreated, psychologically abused. Workers being treated like children. If there's any truth to the stories there, it sounds like people are expected to work in hideous and demoralising conditions. For little or no pay.

I actually hope the stories aren't true. I rather like Wonder Pets. It would be terrible to think something so pleasant comes from a place like that.

Little Airplane aren't alone. Other companies are brought up in the comments of the Brew piece, some not paying people for years. Not paying for the work they are getting. Like whole departments of slave labour.

But that wasn't the most horrifying thing of all.

No, there is something much worse buried in the comments of that Brew piece - Stockholm Syndrome for animators.

Many people are taken on as unpaid interns, put to work on productions and not compensated in any way, if any of them are like the allegations aimed at Little Airplane, they are taken advantage of.

And the victims not only accept it. They are grateful.

Grateful for being exploited.

From some Brew comments -

"As the work experience I gain allows me to be hired there or elsewhere", "don’t write off the value of the experience", "the unpaid intern spot got me a foot in the door", "couldn’t an internship just be viewed as a training session or a really long interview process?" and more.

Yes, it's hard to get your foot in the door. Harder still to make a steady living in this industry.

And, if you work for free or very little, you are part of the problem.

You are sabotaging your own craft, your own end of the industry, your peers and your co-workers both old and new. You are setting the value of your work at zero. You are setting the value of your co-worker's work at zero. Those new kids who are having a hard time getting a foot in the door, you can be damn sure you're setting the value of their work at zero.

You are part of the problem.

It's hard enough in this business. The power and the money is in all the wrong places. Most people accept the situation as normal but many of these people being exploited or working for very little are more talented than the people doing the exploiting. But those people at the top have the money and the control, creative and otherwise.

Why?

Because they won't do a damn thing for free. They don't allow themselves to become victims. And, in cases like these, you can be sure the people at the top, the slave drivers, are laughing their asses off and are getting paid damn well for it. They're getting what they want. Don't kid yourselves that they wouldn't take anyone on if they weren't getting them for free. Anyone who has had anyone hanging around for work experience knows that having a new kid around is often far more trouble than it's worth.

Which means only one thing - to retain these people for any length of time, they need the positions filled. They need the work done as part of their production. The Brew comments point to whole departments in some places being filled with interns.

The people at the top get what they want and make damn sure they are paid for it.

Creative talent, on the other hand, can be discarded and moved aside with no problem because the creative people will work for free, will work for almost nothing. They are willing victims.

And that's why it's so god damned hard to get your foot in the door.

Don't accept that.

Don't set the value of your work at zero. Stop making it harder for every single other person in your end of the business. Stop being part of the problem. Stop accepting the exploitation.

Stop working for free.

And please, stop being grateful to your captors. It's not right when it comes from a sex slave who has been kept in a box for years and it's not right from creative talent.

Finding blog subjects...

2010-04-03T11:21:00.005+01:00

I currently live a very sheltered life. By choice.

It's something I mentioned here before but I have a huge interest in what goes on in the world. I think we're capable of so much and yet we're kind of shitting on each other in a big way. Wars, conflicts, killing, maiming, torture are commonplace and almost always for the wrong reasons. And much of that is supported by people like us working for particular people, owned by particular corporations. We're part of it. Just doing our jobs.

Very little of that is reported by mainstream media. But it's all out there. It's not really hidden. And the more you look, the more things you'll find that will haunt you.

That was a major issue for me when I was in advertising. Trace who your clients are and who owns them and what they've done and, well, it's only a matter of time before you find out that you're a Stormtrooper working on the Death Star. I had to get out of advertising and I did but that doesn't mean things stop happening.

I had to go on a media blackout because these things haunted me and prevented me from living my life. I'm not completely happy with that choice because it's only by knowing about these things we can do something about them. Although, personally, I think the only real way things will change is by tearing down the whole current system and starting again. And that wouldn't be pretty.

I suspect it will happen some day in the not too distant future though. There's only so long this society's charade can continue. But that's a whole other subject.

Most of what is happening, I can't change. Not in my own little life. But I can contribute positively and choose carefully what I do and who I do it for. And I do that.

But I'm still on a media blackout.

And that sometimes means I don't have a huge amount to talk about.

It's not always easy to tell...

2010-03-29T09:09:00.002+01:00

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

That's the sound of the real world around me. Actually, I'm drowning it out with some Judas Priest right now.

I've been having dreams about death for the last month or so. Not my death and never anything particularly gruesome or depressing. Well, one dream was a bit nasty where I had to watch people die from some poison and, for whatever reason, I was meant to observe. Wasn't pleasant and stayed with me a while.

But generally, they seem fairly benign. Just an element in a larger dream. I think it just comes down to the subject of my last post, which got some great replies in the comments. While I like the idea of things we create being immortal, I'd far prefer me being immortal. Well, I guess I'll work on that once I get my current project out of the way.

Things to do -
1) Finish cartoon show.
2) Find key to immortality.

As to do lists go, that's pretty small so at least I know I'm not biting off more than I can chew.

By the way, I followed one person who commented back to his blog and found a real gem - http://www.prozacville.co.uk/ . Thanks for stopping by, Steve. I absolutely love your blog. Brilliant cartoons and they brightened my Monday morning.

I am...

2010-02-18T09:40:00.001Z

That is all.

Giving credit where it's due

2010-02-15T09:25:00.002Z

I was part of a contract negotiation a while back with a producer. One important part of a contract you get from a producer is the part that says they can boot you off the project any time they feel like it, even if it's something you created from scratch.

On this point, I had a lawyer explain to me - well, if they're putting up their money for development, they want to protect their investment. They're taking a risk.

This may well be relevant for you US folks. Over in Europe, however, 'their money' rarely ever means just that. More often than not, it means the public money they applied for. Development grants, non-repayable government loans and that sort of thing.

The only difference between them and you is whose name is at the end of a form.

So who is taking the risk? He who may end up signing his creative work away for damn all money (and you can take that as a certainty) or the one spending public money that was never his to begin with?

After years in this business, I'm left slightly baffled by the power of producers over here. Because their real power isn't in their money. It's in form filling. And yet filling out those forms is something rarely taken seriously unless you've got the word 'producer' on your business card. They do hold all the power.

And yet the real power is hidden. Unrewarded. Or at least barely rewarded. The creative talent.

Producers know this.

It scares the living crap out of many of them. Not all of them. But many of them.

Why? Because anyone can fill out a form. If a producer puts a creative talent out there in front, gives them the credit they have earned, that talent may well just walk across town to another form filler. Or decide to fill forms themselves.

Leaving the producer with nothing but a company name.

If you see an animation company or content production company's website and don't see the creative talent out there in front, or even listed, it's simply because the producers are terrified. They need to make it seem like the creative talent don't matter. Like the power is in a company name. On those where you do see the creative talent out in front, you'll find those people are company directors. Either as part of a formed partnership (a great way to do it) or brought in on some percentage to try to lock them into that company.

Even in those scenarios, however, the fear will come as soon as they use an external talent. And, invariably, they will at some point because producers are always looking for new talent. New talent is easier to mould, to control, to wrestle rights from. The industry keeps things moving this way and so producers retain their role.

It's odd how, at so many different times, we're told what we do is a team effort. And yet so many producers fear their own team.

But, to bring it back to the title of the thread, producers deserve credit where it's due. They do schmooze on boats at MIP or hang out in bars in New York at Kidscreen (they should be just back from that now) and, while many of us creative types are envious of how that sounds, we simply can't be arsed doing it. Producers deserve credit in this industry.

Just not quite as much power.

What broadcasters want

2010-02-11T08:55:00.013Z

Ten years.

That's how long broadcasters have wasted time looking for another Spongebob. Of course, missing the fact that the big thing about Spongebob is that it wasn't another anything.

I've been flicking through a little section in Kidscreen magazine that outlines what current broadcasters are looking for. Yes, there's the usual requests for another Spongebob and more Dora, though they don't quite ask for it like that, but things are slightly different this year due to one thing -

The amount of requests for live-action.

It seems animation may well be falling out of favour. Cartoon Brew have had their own personal battle with Cartoon Network showing live-action shows but it looks like Cartoon Network aren't alone. The only mistake Cartoon Network made was putting the word 'cartoon' in their name.

ABC Australia - especially interested in live-action for preschoolers. Cartoon Network US - open to live-action. France Television - live-action for tweens. Nickelodeon UK - live-action sitcoms. There are more but my fingers are getting tired of typing 'live-action'. I really should just copy/paste it.

Not that there's anything wrong with live-action. There isn't at all. I just find the growing trend interesting and it certainly impacts on those of us in cartoon land.

I actually think it is at least better than chasing that elusive next Spongebob. Though it's entirely possible that the calls for live-action are chasing the next something that I don't know about. The next Hannah Montana? I don't know. I'm not well up on the live-action shows. Though I do enjoy Imagination Movers.

Sometimes (and I'm not speaking specifically about the live-action here), I think there is a huge gap between what broadcasters want and what children and parents want.

One quote, however, stood out to me in the Kidscreen pitch guide thing, one that as soon as I read it I thought, "Now these people, I like and would love to make a show for." It's from Jocelyn Hamilton from Corus Kids in Canada, who says she is looking for -

"Fun, character-driven preschool series with heart that make you giggle."

Now that's an aim I can support. That, as someone who works in children's television and, more importantly, a parent, is something I can get behind.

Jocelyn Hamilton, if you ever stumble across this, I hope you get exactly what you're looking for.

Eagerly awaiting my return

2010-02-08T09:12:00.001Z

This blog was dormant for a while and all was quiet. But as soon as I started posting again, the spammers were drawn here. I like to think of them as spambots because it helps me to believe that actual human beings aren't spending their time spreading shit that nobody wants to read on places it should never be.

Real human beings with any sort of conscience or decency wouldn't do that, would they?

Of course not. But those dirty rotten spambots! Well, they aren't programmed to feel guilt. Their evil Ming the Merciless-like overlords know that even the slightest hint of a conscience chip in there would render them unable to carry out their evil tasks.

You know what I'd like? Loving spambots.

They'd clutter up your inbox and your blog comments with random crap that you haven't asked for, just as they do now. But, instead, the messages would be along the lines of - You're a very special person. We love you. We know how hard you're working and really appreciate the contribution you're making to humanity.

That sort of thing.

But no, I get some gobshite trying to sell boots.

Does it matter though?

2010-02-04T08:41:00.001Z

One thing I've never bought into is the idea that television made our society worse. You only have to look at the days before television to know that man's ability to do shit things to one another was there long before 24 or The Shield. Vikings raped and pillaged and they barely watched any television at all. All those heads on pikes on Tower Bridge in London - not one of those executioners or the people revelling in their deaths watched television.

Listened to radio perhaps.

But no television.

So I don't buy into the idea that television (or indeed rock music or video games) is responsible for society's ills.

But one thing I hear a lot is - I watched X when I was young and it didn't do me any harm.

How can you possibly know that? Unless you have a perfect clone leading the exact same life as you with the exception of watching certain television programmes, you can't ever know that.

The fact is, children do learn from television. It does influence their behaviour. Who knows what effect watching better television would have on a whole generation? Almost impossible to measure and yet, I think, well worth a shot.

And, if it all goes horribly wrong, it doesn't matter. When today's children grow up, they will say it didn't do them any harm anyway.

It might be so much bigger than it seems

2010-02-01T08:55:00.000Z

I asked a question in the post before the iPad thing happened - what do you do if you're on a project you want but know it will end soon?

Red Pill Junkie answered - "You give it everything you've got." Andy offered this - "make the best damn beer you can." Yes, I remember saying that, Andy, and you guys are absolutely right.

The other day, I was at a recording of one of the episodes we're working on. We got to the end of the episode and I listened carefully. Like many children's cartoons, it ended with a nice positive moral. This message was no different to ones I've heard many times on children's television but, for some reason, with whatever way it was read, it sounded important.

It sounded like something that might stick.

Something that, somewhere deep inside, might survive the beat down that is school. The oppression of what we're sold as the 'real world'. And I thought, if enough children believe the message behind this little story buried in this unassuming children's show, truly believe it, when these children grow up, we'll be creating a better life.

Can children's television really lead to a revolution? I don't know, probably not. But everything a child is exposed to helps form their world view. Sets their boundaries. Or breaks them. Television for children can be worse than junk food, glorified ads, or work against parents creating chaos. Or it can be something wonderful. Something that entertains, that contributes positively to their world. And then, to our world.

Right now, I'm a very small part of that. Just a tiny part. And it may not last long. But, right now, I'll give it all I've got.

The iPad

2010-01-28T08:31:00.002Z

Thanks for the responses on the last post guys. I have more following on from what you offered, but I couldn't let the Apple iPad announcement go unmarked.

A huge iPhone. Only without a camera or GPS.

For half the price, you can get a fully functioning laptop around the same size as this thing, with at least double the storage capacity. This iPad is, to go all internet about it, epic fail.

Juggling

2010-01-25T19:57:00.000Z

That's an old image by the way but one I just hadn't posted before. Probably because it's not very good but, hey, it gives you something to look at, eh?

Man, it's busy right now. Times being what they are, that's a good thing but (and I mentioned this on the blog last year) things will dry up early this year.

And then things get exciting and scary. I have so many different directions - that's exciting. None guaranteed or even highly likely to lead to an actual income. Scary. I am lucky to have a safety net with a project up next but without much of a role for me. Sort of a consultation role - which usually means very close to unemployed but not close enough that I can't live.

So I guess it's not all that scary at all.

The real scares come with the idea that I have to push myself forward and choose a direction. CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER, as some fighting game might say. But I choose Dhalsim because he breathes fire but then realise I can't handle his ridiculous hang time. And then I'm well and truly buggered, aren't I?

I could have chosen Ryu or Ken but that's boring. Safe. For people stuck in a rut. Well, I've quite enjoyed my rut. Right now, I'm spamming Hadokens all over the place. And it's great.

But soon, Ryu and Ken will be off the roster. I'm going to have to pick someone else.

That's a bit of a confused thought and will lose any of you not familiar with Street Fighter. Mostly, what I'm getting at is this - I began last year working on a tough project, with the promise of one I really wanted. This year, I begin the year on that project I wanted. When you got what you wanted and know it will end, what then?

Guess who is still alive?

2010-01-21T16:59:00.002Z

It's me, that's who.

Wow, it's dusty in here. Are those cobwebs?

I've been busy. My head has been full, occupied and yet often quiet, which is nice. It's 2010. Still no flying cars or robot butlers. What is this? The stone age? Eh?

There are a few emails I haven't responded to. I'll get to those, but I just dropped off the internet for a while. I'm slowly climbing back on to it again. The internet, I mean.

Holiday time again!

2009-12-21T10:42:00.000Z

....

2009-12-07T08:56:00.001Z

Children In Need

2009-11-20T23:13:00.003Z

Every now and again, people get together to do something good. In the UK, they have this event night thing each and every year called Children In Need. Mostly, it amounts to pretty poor television but what people do during that pretty poor television is a very good thing - raise money for children who really need it.

It's on tonight and, this year, Peter Kay launched a charity single that brings together most of the UK animation industry. Or at least a hell of a lot of it. And it brings together characters from over 30 years of UK children's television.

Old classics like the amazing Paddington Bear, the Wombles, Bagpuss, going back as far as Muffin the Mule. More recent characters like Postman Pat, Pingu, Bob the Builder and even more recent characters like Fifi and the Flowertots, Peppa Pig and many, many more. Apparently, it has something like 120 characters in there.

It was put together by Chapman Entertainment and directed wonderfully by a man named Tim Harper and it's a lot of fun.

Apparently, the DVD single goes on sale on Monday in the UK. If you're reading this and you're in the UK, please go and buy it. It's for a bloody good cause and deserves to do well.

If you're not in the UK, well, go dig it up on YouTube and have a look but prod anyone in the UK to buy it.

Drifting

2009-11-16T08:52:00.002Z

I'm losing touch with the Bitter Animator part of who I am.

I actually think that's probably a good thing. But not so good when you've got a blog based around one particular part of your persona. Hence the lack of updates in a whole week - my longest post drought I think.

Part of it is being busy of course. My life is full. But I do think more of it is just not being the Bitter Animator for a while. That part of me just doesn't need expression right now. He has gone quiet. Is that weird?

Right now, I almost feel like starting a blog on pretty things. Like flowers and colours I like.

That is weird.

Winter. Yet again.

2009-11-09T16:45:00.005Z

So... sleepy... yet... so... busy...

I want to crawl into a cave and hide. The urge is so strong. I'm having a real hard time resisting it. It's something deep in my gut.

Which backs up my theory that we should be hibernating. Or at least I should be hibernating.

Everyone is welcome to join me in my cave, although it's quiet time so there's no talking and certainly no getting up and doing stuff. There's nothing as upsetting to someone trying to relax than seeing busy people around them. It's borderline offensive. But please do bring food and some warm blankets. And a hot water bottle as long as the kettle you use to fill them with is quiet. Paper plates are recommended as dishwashers are noisy and washing them yourself breaks the rule about doing stuff.

Thanks to Andy for recommending Flipnote for the DSi. I'm looking forward to trying it. Check out what Andy has done with it here and have a look at these from Aardman. Fantastic stuff. When I get a free moment (sometime between retirement and death), I'm going to get it and see what I can do with it.

By the way, Andy has an excellent animation blog here. If you're into animation, especially just getting started, you'll likely find something useful there.

Catching up with people

2009-11-05T08:55:00.003Z

Thing about this panel is that, usually, it's not like this at all. Oh yeah, somewhere in there, I'm comparing myself to others and managing to come out of it worse off but the truth is that most of the people I meet who I knew in school aren't settled and don't have that good life.

Some do. But most seem like they are still floating around like they're in their early twenties. Changing careers or working ridiculously hard at some worthless one, having been seeing someone for a year or so, look how drunk I got at some party, and that sort of thing. As a generation, we just don't seem to be able to settle. By my age, we're meant to be completely settled. We're the older generation. Sad but true. At least for me. And yet, we're really lagging behind.

Does it matter?

Yeah, I think it does. Because you only have to look at older people to know that old age creeps up very, very slow and then strikes fast. And one day we're going to wake up and we'll be old. We'll have trouble getting out of bed. It will take several hours to walk to the shops. We'll bitch about just about everything we see on television. We'll tell the young just how dangerous the world is and maybe even collect newspaper cuttings of horrendous stories to prove our point.

And we'll realise we're old.

And we skipped a whole stage of life. Probably a very good stage.

I wonder why that is? Why it's like that now?

I think I blame the corporate world, advertising and chick flicks. Yeah, that's a long topic in itself but I think we're focusing too much on this career thing for stuff we're constantly told we should have. A life we all deserve that is little more than a materialistic fantasy. And, on the relationship side (and this is where chick flicks come in), we're taught to expect some stupidly romantic happy ending that only occurs because you can end a movie at a very fixed point. Cut six months later from the end of any chick flick and you'll find something a little more like real life. Our stories don't end at that moment of connection. And it's rarely perfect.

But, whatever the reason, this generation, my generation, is very slow to grow up. And, even coming from someone who lives in a world of cartoons, games, toys and complete fantasy, I don't actually think that's a good thing.

Defining moments

2009-11-02T09:09:00.004Z

Every moment I live dictates how the rest of my life will be. Every single choice or, more often, choice I don't make defines my future.

In a way, every moment of every day, I am fighting for my life.

But I live unaware of that fight. No, that's not true. I'm aware of it but I try to ignore it. Avoid it. Because, really, I just want an easy life. A simple life. But doing that, I'm losing the battle. Throwing the whole war.

It's November already.

All around, I'm seeing things listed for 2010. Release dates and so on. And every time I see 2010 written down, even here, I think it's a date from some fictional future. It's science fiction. The Space Year 2010. It's not a real year in my lifetime. It's the year some sci-fi story is set in. Where some guy has to escape some oppressive Big Brother society, running from robots with laser guns.

But, aside from the robots with laser guns, that's where we're at. That's now. Or almost.

And I can do things right now to change my future. A real future, not some robots with laser guns future (though that should be the real future). But keeping up that realisation, actually acting on it... well that's a lot of pressure and a hell of a lot of hard work.

And I'm so tired.

What I'm dressing up as for Halloween

2009-10-30T19:47:00.001Z

No, not a zombie this year. Zombies are easy - I just go as I am. No, I need a different attitude. So how about some ass-kicking demon thing?

From the bowels of Hell itself... well, maybe not the bowels. Bowels aren't somewhere you want to spend much time in, although I guess that gives me a good reason to leave Hell. I mean, coming from bowels makes just about everywhere a step up. Okay, so I'll go with bowels.

From the bowels of Hell itself, the dreaded demon Bittoriad rises to wreak havoc upon the world. Destroying the very values that hold society together, the evil Bittoriad spreads such insidious notions as the idea that children's shows should actually be pretty good for children and entertain and work with parents rather than serving as toy advertisments. The nefarious Bittoriad can't even get through a blog post without preaching his twisted views. That's just how evil he is.

Oh yes, that is evil.

And then, once he has preached his way out of a job by refusing to work on crap, he sits in front of the television watching Dr.Phil and drinking beer...

Hang on, somewhere in here, Bittoriad lost his way. He was supposed to kick ass. Gah, even huge devil wings and an angry look can't alter my destiny - towards the television with a beer.

Well, I'll kick ass next year.

Hope everyone has a very happy Halloween! If you're dressing up, make it something horrific. No fairies or princesses - that's cheating! Make it scary! Whatever you do, I hope you have fun...

...or the evil Bittoriad will eat your brains while you sleep.

The realities of a production schedule

2009-10-27T08:52:00.006Z

I actually know nothing of the realities of a production schedule because I have not yet come across one that had any place in the real world. Schedules are made, usually missing some keys stages, then blissfully ignored.

And then a show is made from start to finish in total chaos.

Right now, I'm feeling that. I'm actually feeling rather unsupported. Like I'm a one-man army trying to pull a whole show together. And pulling an entire show together is too big for any one person. So I can only prioritise what I can and hope that everything else falls into place.

Just like I hope someone comes to my door and delivers a whole truck of money. Actually, that's probably more likely.

I do wonder - is it like this on all shows? Is a state of utter chaos totally normal? Do all shows run this fine line where they're in danger of completely falling apart at any moment?

Does anyone know?

On an unrelated note, John K made his blog private for a while. It's public again now but it sounds like he may not be continuing it or may consider other plans for his blog. That would be a massive loss to the animation world. We're in a place now where skills are being lost, mostly due to the massive changes in the animation systems. John K's blog is in incredible resource for animators and should be regular reading, especially for newer, younger animators being born into a world of Flash studios. Mr.K would be the first to say that his way is just one way of doing things (I certainly don't always agree with some things, though I never doubt the man's talent) and he encourages people to find their own 'voice' in their artwork but his lessons, stories and (usually pretty funny) rants are really important for people to have access to. He has a point of view that is uniquely his. So I hope he keeps his blog open.

But, just in case, it would be an idea to read all you can from his blog and take something away from it. And maybe show him a little support too - he has earned it.

From me personally, I'd like to say a big 'thank you' to Mr.K for everything he has contributed to animation.

Dark mornings

2009-10-22T08:45:00.002+01:00

Getting up while it's dark is just not right. It's against all laws of nature. Well, except for nocturnal animals like owls or vampires or whatever. But, for we dayturnal creatures, night is for sleep.

So why does my alarm clock go off when it's still night?

It's just not right.

It's around this time of year that I propose my hibernation plan. Every human on the nothern hemisphere should hibernate from the months of October to March. Or perhaps beginning in November, just to give time for people to get things ready.

We'd stock up on food, DVDs, games and so on and then just lock ourselves away for those months. Nobody would go anywhere. Nobody would do any work. And then, in the spring time, we'd all get back to it totally refreshed and ready for anything.

Don't worry about the world during those unproductive months. We'd adjust. In fact, it may turn out we never needed them at all. In animation, it is the norm to work stupid hours and have no life coming up to deadlines. When I first got into a position where I could call the shots, I put an end to that where I was. I actively forced people out of the building to go home. And, once people realised that they only had a certain amount of hours to get their work done, they adjusted, worked harder and smarter and got the same amount of work done in fewer hours.

I suspect that could work on a far larger scale.

And we'd always have the southern hemispherers to keep things going, just like we northerners would when they get their hibernation.

If I ever run for Ruler Of The Known Universe, that will be one of my core policies.

Well, I'm better now

2009-10-19T08:55:00.002+01:00

Man, that was not a fun week at all. I was really badly ill and it has taken quite a while for me to feel human again.

So I'm back to my tired weary self, which is nice.

I'm totally out of touch with the world, and have a ridiculous backlog of work to do. What's going on in the world (bearing in mind I only want to hear nice things)?

What's up?

2009-10-14T08:59:00.002+01:00

Apologies for slow updates right now. I was inundated with work and then, if that wasn't enough of a challenge, I contracted some really nasty bug and ended up taking a trip in an ambulance. I've never been in an ambulance before so that was exciting. But I'm taking a bit of recovery time and normal services will be resumed shortly!

Are the right people in control?

2009-10-08T09:24:00.004+01:00

I mentioned this in a comment over at John K's blog and thought it worth a mention here too.

I've been reading David B. Levy's book, 'Animation Development'. All about, well, animation development. There's a chapter on the executive side of things. All about the gatekeepers of the industry. Those who decide what makes it to pilot stage and what makes it to air.

And, in it, Linda Simensky says this - "Most do not have backgrounds in animation but have a genuine interest in storytelling or humour or other creative areas."

Is a' genuine interest' enough?

The value of your work...

2009-10-05T09:38:00.003+01:00

Oh they love stirring the shit over at Cartoon Brew. Recently, Amid posted his thoughts on Frederator finally paying for animation videos to be shown online (or indeed anywhere else they choose, such are the terms). Kudos to both Cartoon Brew and Frederator for paying at all.

Because, for the most part, our work is worth nothing. Not a thing.

Short films don't make money. $50 can at least buy a few beers to make up for that year of hard labour. People say they bring exposure, and that can be true, but then what?

One major thing people don't seem to realise is just how little broadcast television makes. Let's say you got a show off the ground and made it entirely yourself. What is the value of your work?

Nothing.

Or, quite possibly, somewhere in the negative.

It's different for every channel of course. I've seen some broadcasters in the world pay around $500 for a 26+ episode series. Sometimes, it may go into 4-figures. That's pretty cool, eh? You could sell it to almost every territory on the planet at that price and not make back the production costs. But that's at least some value.

Some channels pay nothing.

If I remember correctly, Treehouse usually pay nothing for show and expect to share in merchandise rights. Recently some UK satellite dedicated children's channels have been offered money to air shows. I don't know yet if any have been aired on that basis but I imagine it's not an uncommon scenario.

So the distributors of the show actually pay the broadcasters, who are swimming in ad revenue. It's a win-win situation for the broadcaster.

But is it a win for anyone else?

It puts the value of series work in the negative.

It also reinforces, as you can see from that Treehouse deal, that the only way to actually make money from broadcast children's shows is in the merchandising. Which means that the shows are, in effect, advertisements. Just like advertisements, broadcasters are paid to air them and they are designed with a single purpose in mind - to sell products. To you and your children.

This is nothing new, of course. We grew up with glorified ads like He-Man and the like. It wasn't so bad in the preschool end back then. Now, the youngest of children, right down to babies, are being targeted. Oh, and it's worth a mention that every study on the planet shows that television viewing under the age of two has a detrimental effect on the child's development. Nevertheless, there are dedicated producers of content for babies. Trying to sell product, like everyone else.

I've just started David B. Levy's book, Animation Development, From Pitch to Production. So far, it seems really good. But it seems to take 193 pages, whereas I can give you the best pitch advice in one sentence - create toys and give the broadcasters your merchandising rights.

That's what it comes down to.

So the value of actual show creation? Providing entertainment that is good for children? Well, that's worth nothing. Sometimes less than nothing. But create a good toy line and extended ads? That's where the money the is.

Something doesn't quite sit right with me about that. I think it comes down to what I said a long time ago on this blog and it seems appropriate once more -

If you do not have the best interests of children at heart, you should not be in this business.

Maybe it sounded like a good idea at some point

2009-10-01T09:09:00.001+01:00

Many called it brave. Others will likely go on to call it offensive.

Yes, featuring a child with a disability as a main character can be a brave move. And quite admirable. It has been done before if I remember correctly, though the name of the show I'm thinking of escapes me.

But cartoons, by their very nature, are caricatures.

And, when you go about caricaturing people with disabilities and then throw in a whole lack of understanding on top of that because not one person involved even knows someone with a disability, well, that's just asking for trouble.

I do remember one guy I worked for, many years ago (not the producer depicted above), telling me that he envied people in wheelchairs. Yes, envied them, because their disability gave them a keen mind. That's why Stephen Hawking is so smart, according to him. Man, what he would give to be run over by a bus...

I integrated that into the panel above of course. My producer isn't actually that insensitive. Not by a long shot actually - he is cursed with a heart of gold, bless his little cotton socks. But he sometimes doesn't quite see how some things that sound like a good idea might actually not be, even though he has the best of intentions. And I just play that up because the pic (and the words with it) is a caricature, see?

Just like making a cartoon show.

Cartoons are caricatures and, while many can argue a good case against pre-emtive self-censorship, some things just don't seem like a good idea to me.

Writing...

2009-09-28T12:28:00.001+01:00

I have had something I needed to finish for quite some time. A draft of a screenplay that some people are waiting on. Actually, that's not quite true. It's not that I needed to finish it. I needed to start it. I'm so far away from finishing it that there's no point in worrying about that bit yet.

So I locked myself away at the weekend to attempt to get some momentum going. It took my at least a day before I got back into it and knew who my characters were. It doesn't surprise me how difficult I was finding it. It's not something you can just jump into.

It almost requires a journey even to begin. Me, in my own world, walking slowly step by step into the world of the story. There's no train. No quicker route. It just takes time.

But I got there eventually and have finally managed to make a start. That's good.

I don't have this difficulty with children's shows. I can just jump in and, withing an hour, I'm there. Characters and stories are living for me. The mind of a child comes more naturally to me.

But to pretend I ever really made it to adulthood and try to get inside the heads of adults? Well, that's just hard work.

Being an adult must be rough.

Blogday Week Favourite - Like that guy from Scanners

2009-09-25T11:44:00.003+01:00

This comes from July '08 and I'm not even sure what prompted it beyond a post at Uncle Eddie's site. It sounds like it was brewing for a while. But it was something I had to get out at the time and, rereading it, I'm glad I'm reposting some of these because I feel the need to get it out again.

This will be the last of the reposts. I declare Blogday Week officially over.
I think it was Scanners at least. No, not the head exploding bit (though that's very cool). No, I'm just talking about the bits early on where he can hear everyones thoughts and it's too much for him. Bombarded by thoughts, feelings, fears, insecurities - sensory overload. It's too much for a person to handle.

And that's the world we live in today. We are bombarded with information, news, advertisments, opinions and fears, much of it misinformation. Too many choices. Too many decisions. Our heads are full, like the guy who hears everyones thoughts at once.

Much of it is a diversionary tactic. It suits certain groups of people for this to be the way the world is. Governments love it - a simple diversion and people move on and forget what the problem was to begin with. The trick to hiding the shit they get up to is not to hide information - it's to give too much information, each piece contradicting the last, and end up with nothing but confusion and doubt. It works a treat. Governments love conspiracy theorists. The more the merrier because each new theory muddies the water further. Most of us just try to block it out.

And it works with our consumer society too. Preying and building on self-doubt, companies tell us that we deserve to have everything we want and need. Then they show us just how broken our lives are, how incomplete we are, how utterly inadequate we are without the shit they are selling us. Then nicely bombard us with 'choice'. So many choices every day that we simply don't have time to stop and think about any of them. Then when they get caught doing shit they shouldn't, the consumer accountability card comes out - you make the choice and vaildate them by buying their stuff. People call it 'voting with your wallet'. Can you really make any kind of informed decision when there are thousands to make each and every day? And when, instead of clear information, we're fed propaganda, half-truths and often straight-out lies?

That's bullshit. So we have to try to block it out.

On top of that, we have atrocities going on each and every day. British soldiers forcing 14 year-old Iraqi boys into sex, soldiers beating civilians to death and much more. Much worse. Children walking over landmines in countries we have long forgotten about. Too much for people to think about. If we thought about each daily atrocity as we go about our lives, we would be metally crippled. We have to block it out.

We're bombarded with sound bites about 'weapons of mass destruction', 'freedom', 'threats' and all kinds of other bullshit and many find comfort in latching on to one of these as a justification so that they don't have to think about it any deeper. Because the rest? We have to block it out.

And yet, even with the hideous things going on in the world, the media loves to hype up this local culture of fear. Every young person will stab you. Every guy out with his kids is a pedophile. Everyone is your enemy. We're led to a 'pre-emptive strike' culture. Why the hell wouldn't kids have knives when they are told all the time that all the other kids have knives and are about to stab them? We are coiled springs, feeding on paranoia. But we couldn't go about our lives like that. We have to block it out.

Then, on just a basic day to day life level, we have bills, rent or mortgages, a fragile economy, fears of job losses, just trying to survive. And companies have been very good at making people dependent. Careers become our lives because they have to. And some companies are great - full of perks, great working conditions and so on - but they are traps, locking us into that dependency. So much of our energy goes to just paying those bills and feeding those traps. So of course we have to block out all that other crap. We don't have time or energy for it.

We are too busy.

Luckily we provide for that - we can fill our brains with action films, reality tv, sport (that's just reality tv too), games and so on. We end up like those aliens with big brain-heads. Full of information. Only, it's mostly misinformation and useless crap. It weighs us down. All the while, we try to block it out. Just to get on with our lives. We're just trying to live.

An older person asked me recently where the hell all the young people were protesting about the illegal invasion of Iraq. He said that their generation ended the Vietnam war. Asked what had this generation done? Well, people did protest. I was at one - a really big one. Didn't matter because the government knew all it would take was a little distraction and people would move on. Their lives would get busy. They'd have to worry about the next bill, their careers, what they would buy next, what the next media paranoia frenzy is, what's the next popular troubled area in the world. Simple basic distraction.

To survive we just have to block so much stuff out.

Where this post came from was a post over at Uncle Eddie's Theory Corner on animation acting. I was thinking, how can we know acting when we are withdrawing from the world? Because that's what I see happening. We're getting so much more comfortable in our own heads. On text messaging. Email. Yes, you can contact millions of people online - hard to think of that as anything other than social. But it's not real contact. The world is just too difficult now. We are withdrawing.

But every now and again, someone snaps. Shoots up a school or something. I think we're going to see much more of that sort of thing. I think people are going to feel more and more isolated, separate from society. And I think that, given time, there will be more people ready to snap than actually able to function in society. The solution isn't to get a gun to shoot those crazies first. It's to look at society. We're people. It should be our society. We should be taking it back.

But, right now, we're living in the Age of Distraction. And we're blocking it all out.

Blogday Week Favourite - Changes

2009-09-24T08:53:00.003+01:00

Only choosing a few, it's hard to find the posts that really mean the most to me. But this is one of them. This repost comes from June '08 and it comes after the death of my dog, my oldest friend who had been with me for 17 years. Hard to believe that was well over a year ago now. I miss him all the time. I think I always will.

But the realisation that life continues for the living comes at unexpected times.
I've been pretty down lately. Losing my dog hit hard. The dog people among you will know what I mean. Those of you who aren't dog people, well, take my word for it that it's hard. 17 years is a long time. And I had to just get on with it at work and be professional and all that, and in everyday life too, so I was just burying how hard this is inside and it has been kind of eating away at me.

And I've had tough weeks and tough weekends around all that. Things, generally, have been pretty crappy. Then there's the thought of this godawful company outing.

Well yesterday I had managed to track down some of that Indy Lego I was looking for. I went out to get it at lunchtime and got absolutely soaked on the way back - how did everyone else know they'd need coats and umbrellas? And on the way back I was thinking about this company outing. I've been dreading it from the moment it was brought up. I can think of about a thousand different things I'd rather be doing and most of those involve sitting on my couch not being out with people I work with.

But then I thought, okay, I'm going. Accept it. Who knows, it might not even be awful. Maybe, just maybe, I'll find something to enjoy. Maybe not.

Suddenly, one little weight was lifted. It's still a crappy company outing and it's just one little part of my life but I think what it did was signify a willingness to just get on with things. Some forward momentum. I've still got some life to live and I'm going to just go do it.

A small change but a change nonetheless.

It helped.

Then I was rained on again on the way home and I realised I was just being delusional.

Happy Bloggiversary to me! (not a repost)

2009-09-23T10:32:00.001+01:00

Well today is the day. My blog's birthday. Two years old. Man, how it has flown.

Last year, I did a whole big post with a nice little birthday image but, this year, for some reason, making a big deal out of it doesn't seem quite right. Although I am enjoying browsing through some of the old posts to see what I'd like to post again. I haven't done that before. There will be a couple more reposts over the next few days of posts I like and then it's back to regular service. Hey, if there's a post you remember that you like, let me know.

A lot has changed this year and I think that's what I tried to reflect in the image above. The future is far less certain and recession is hitting pretty hard in some places. Like where I am. It's funny that a huge amount of people are still in complete denial about that so I think that's going to start to hit even harder in the near future.

For me, I don't know where I'll be this time next year. Quite possibly, I'll end up on the streets looking for animation work. I don't know if it's a skill that really translates to the streets but it's worth a shot. "Animate you a character, sir? No? No? God bless you, sir," and so on.

But it has actually been a really good 12 months since my last bloggiversary. I've been working hard on a project I love and it's something I think will contribute to the rest of my career. Possibly the rest of my life. That's a rare thing and I'm really thankful for it.

It has been a good year.

Well, here's to another year. Thanks as always for dropping by my little blog. Who knew when I started writing about depression two years ago and ranting about my crappy animation job that I'd find a little blog community of people I would call friends? If I'd known that, I probably would have tried to make those early drawings a little better. Look back, they're unbelievably crap. Well, not to worry, they served a purpose at the time. Helped me get stuff out.

If you're reading this, I hope you're doing well and thanks again.

Blogday Week Favourite - Oliver Postgate 1925-2008

2009-09-22T09:16:00.002+01:00

It seems a little odd to repost an obituary but, in a way, the passing of Oliver Postgate reminded me why I do what I do. Postgate, who died in December of last year, made such a massive difference to a whole generation of children. Adults think back to his shows and have such fond memories, often just feelings. Feelings of warmth and comfort. He didn't do it to sell advertising space, to sell toys or to brainwash your children.

He did it to put smiles on the faces of children.

That's what's important. That's what counts. Since this post, we also lost John Ryan, of Captain Pugwash fame, another fantastic artist and creator.

Oliver Postgate died aged 83.

Oliver Postgate created Bagpuss, the Clangers, Ivor the Engine, Noggin the Nog, Pingwings and more. He was one of the top figures, if not the top figure, in a Golden Age of UK children's programming. It was a time of creativity, a love of fun and all things silly. It was a time when the sole aim was to put smiles on the faces of children. To make them laugh.

And that's exactly what Oliver Postgate did. Over and over again.

His importance, for several generations of smiling children, can't be overstated. Even now, thirty and forty years on, mentioning one of his shows will bring people right back to their childhood. The Clangers has become a common language for fun, for carefree times. Mention Bagpuss and a room can fill with warmth. For those of you outside the UK and Ireland, this effect is truly amazing. Look inside to the playful innocent child inside someone who grew up in Britain or Ireland from the 60s on and, somewhere in there, you'll find some or all of Oliver Postgate's characters.

He inspired a generation of artists, creators, animators, illustrators, writers, dreamers and free thinkers. Anyone with an ounce of imagination.

We may have lost a legend but his influence will be felt for decades, possibly much longer.

Goodbye Bagpuss. Goodbye Clangers. Goodbye everybody. I'll miss you all.

Blogday Week Favourite - Bleak Future of Animation Part 3

2009-09-21T08:48:00.001+01:00

On the 23rd of September, My Medicated Cartoon Life is two years old. So I thought, as I have never reposted anything so far and I have a few favourites, it might be a good excuse to repost some oldies.

Over at John K's blog recently, he made a post asking will traditional cartoon principals survive? Well, I had given my answer to that close to a year ago in my 4-part post - the bleak future of animation. My answer was no.

Here is Part 1.
And this is Part 2.
Part 3.
And Part 4.

But, for my repost, I've gone for Part 3. Firstly, I just like the doodle that goes with it. I can really see this scenario playing out in a couple of generations time. And, secondly, it marks the birth of my child. One of them.

Here it is -

I meant to get to this post yesterday but ended up having to attend the birth of my child. Live blogging would have been seen as bad form. So where was I?

7,000 drawings a year. Possibly a little less. Possibly much more. That's how much a traditional animator or would-be animator could rack up in just the normal course of their day. That doesn't include personal studies or sketches or little thumbnails that they would do along with those drawings. That's 7,000 finished approved drawings.

You don't get this from Flash animation.

Nope, really. You just don't.

Seriously.

In Flash, with most working methods, it is about manipulation of libraries, often totally flat and completely predefined. Drawing within Flash is for two things - to rough out a piece on the timeline so you have an idea of what you're doing (and some animators skip this, at their peril), or to make a missing symbol or hide a join, and some studios discourage or completely disallow this for fear of loss of control. The good Flash animators will likely (hopefully) have doodles of poses and expressions around their desk from the scenes they are working on. But that's not the same or even close to what is expected from a traditional inbetween, clean-up or animation drawing. And certainly doesn't approach the same numbers in volume.

But Flash animation isn't the same thing, is it? So does it matter?

You also don't get this from 3D. In 3D animation you are manipulating marionettes effectively. It's about posing them. It's an art in itself of course so not really all that directly comparible to traditional. But, like Flash, good animators will often have poses roughed out in pencil first. Again, not close to what is expected from a traditional finished drawing.

3D animation is a whole different form though, more like stop-motion. So does it matter?

Some of the best Flash animators learned traditionally and then were trained in Flash. Some of the best 3D animators learned traditionally and then were trained in 3D. In both methods, traditional animators have a massive advantage, are often the people directors seek out first and can have a great positive influence in studios.

Those are the 7,000-a-year drawing people.

Could it happen the other way around? Could someone spend five years animating on a Flash show and then produce a great piece of 2D animation? Or even 3D?

Not the way the 7,000-a-year people could.

Yes, I'd say it matters.

The most-excellent Cold Hard Flash reported on something Brad Bird said about a Marky Maypo spot. He said "I sometimes worry that people whose knowledge is limited to Flash tricks will never be able to reach the level of skill demonstrated in these little demonstrations of genius." Personally, I think he's right. How could he be wrong? We're comparing with the 7,000-a-year people.

But what happens when those animators retire or die? What happens when their influence is gone? What happens when you take away the people who were practicing to the tune of 7,000 drawings a year?

That's not a storyline

2009-09-17T09:13:00.001+01:00

Of course, this is someone clearly missing what a 'storyline' actually is. And creating a problem where there was none. You knew that, right? You got that.

The actual script wasn't about Christmas but was about an annual event so it seemed like an obvious comparison. How can writers possibly get away with writing more than one Christmas episode? In fact, how do they get away with even one? Stories about Christmas have been done before. How derivative. Broadcasters expect new storylines. Not repeats.

And I didn't really finish the end of the notes in that pic. They usually go something like this -

Please don't proceed with the changes without consulting me. I'll be on holiday until July 2012 but you can reach me in the office any time after that for a chat.

Oh to have the holidays of one of these people. It would be just lovely.

Astro Andy for a Monday

2009-09-14T19:52:00.007+01:00

A little iPod Andy doodle for a Monday. He's not hurtling to his doom. Not oblivious to some hideous fate that awaits him. Not this time.

He's found a friend.

No catch. A little friend. That's nice, isn't it? Astro Andy deserves it after all this time. And it's Monday, so I thought we could do with a bit of good news.

Mr.Trombley postes in the comments of my last post that he's back blogging. He has interesting things to say so, if you've got a few minutes, check out his blog.

While I'm mentioning sites, have you checked out the Daily Grail for some interesting articles on things you probably don't know about but certainly should? No? Well check it out here.

Also, check out some zombies. If you like that sort of thing. I do. I like zombies. Why? I'm not quite sure. Any theories?

Anyone impressed with Apple's announcements last week? The iPod Nano seemed to get all the good new features while the rest sort of got nothing. And to do it on the same day as the big Beatles release and not to get them on to iTunes? Well, I guess people are better off getting them on CD but still, it just doesn't look good. And Apple know by now - image is everything. Still, I'd love a fancy MacBook.

I left my heart in Tokyo down by the river, don't you know? I didn't really. It's a song that's on right now. Oh yes... it's one of those days...

...one of those days.

Depersonalisation

2009-09-11T11:00:00.000+01:00

I've often heard about these 'out of body' experiences. Where people feel themselves float out and above their body looking down at themselves.

I remember when I was first diagnosed with depression, one of the things I felt was that I wasn't living my life - I was watching myself living my life. Like I was out of my own body or looking through a television or something. Turns out this feeling is quite common with depression.

I wonder if it's connected with these out of body experiences? You know, you didn't just have a spiritual experience, you're just depressed dude. Maybe there are miserable monks everywhere. Or maybe those of us with depression are approaching enlightenment... actually, if being depressed is close to enlightenment, maybe that's not something to strive for.

That small work for hire project I mentioned in my last post is officially dead. Which leaves me with a void. An uncertainty. Actually a certainty - that I have nothing to go on to.

I'm throwing my all into the project I'm on. Everything I have is going into that, hence the infrequent updates. It's making me a little bit crazy. Nothing seems good enough right now and those few elements that do seem good enough, I'm wondering if they are too polished for the spirit of the show. I'm constantly second-guessing myself right now.

Susan informed me that it was Suicide Prevention Day yesterday. I missed it. But, if you're reading this, you prevented a suicide yesterday simply by living so well done to you. To some, that may seem flippant but, to others, that achievement doesn't come so easily.

Be good to those people.

Monday

2009-09-07T09:38:00.005+01:00

I don't mind not having my phone with me but my iPod is an essential. As is my pants. Not sure how that happened. I leave them out so I can't miss them.

Unless somebody moved them...?

Forgot my headphones too so I can't just listen to music from my computer either. Oh well. One of those days.

It's September. I've been doing this blog almost two years now. That's flown. I have been far less prolific over the last while. Things have been busy. Is anyone still here?

But it also means we're going into Autumn and on towards Winter. And the project I'm on finishes early next year and I have no idea what will happen after that. I am faced with the prospect of having nothing to move on to and that is something I haven't had to face in a long, long time. It's a little scary. Actually it's very scary as the last times I faced this, I didn't have children to feed. Now, I do.

I'm not sure how it will all work out.

There's a small work for hire project that may happen but it's looking less and less likely. That wouldn't be an awful one to do by any means. Well within my comfort zone. Then there's another project that might happen but it's one I feel should never be made and I just don't see it in my future. If I was going to do a job I am completely against, there are probably ones that can make me more money - like dealing arms or drug running.

And then there's... nothing.

If I didn't have a family to feed, I'd live on beans for a while and write a book or something. I'd actually use a break to really put my time into something creative. But things are different now.

All part of growing up, I guess.

Well it can't all be great, can it?

2009-09-03T11:35:00.003+01:00

Something has changed in my work. I always wanted to do good work, but this is more.

I feel like Han Solo when he saw Lando take out the Millennium Falcon.

For some reason, on this project, my thoughts always come back to this - I may never get to make something like this ever again. I hope I'm wrong, of course. But the result of that is that I don't want one frame to make it to air that I'm not 100% happy with.

Even to the point of throwing out whole episodes.

Because, once the show is finished, it has a life of its own and can never be redone. And I may never get to do it again. There may never be more.

But there are realities to the business end - budget and time. People can't afford just to throw out whole finished episodes. Well, maybe they can. Maybe things can be shifted, budgets juggled and producers can get a little bit creative. After all, we all want a great product, don't we?

The idea of a last chance changes everything.

Premiere, computers and ceilings

2009-08-31T11:26:00.002+01:00

There are definite disadvantages to using computers. Okay so I'm not painting a ceiling but Premiere is being a dick right now.

Seems to be general worldwide policy now to blame the young'uns in checking their Facebooks. Oh, it's all about the Facebooks these days. You kids and your Facebooks.

But where's my audio, eh? Where, Premiere?! Where?!!

If I looked how I feel...

2009-08-27T09:24:00.003+01:00

I thought this would be interesting but had no idea when I started just how disgusting the final image would be.

This documents how my physical form feels.

It's actually not far off how I look, except you can't see things like the sore knee or neck just by looking. The old, exhausted eyes, on the other hand, are obvious for all to see.

How would your image look?

The most important part of the day

2009-08-24T09:47:00.004+01:00

I'm beginning to notice a pattern. It's really rather simple. If I have a nice smooth journey into work, passing any traffic and having good luck with the lights, I am more likely to have a better day.

The journey into work is setting the tone for my whole day.

Now some days I wake up exhausted and, on those days, things are tough anyway but a good journey in can make all the difference and goes a long way towards improving how that day will play out. I do notice that the person who gets on my little bike can be quite a dramatically different person to the one who gets off it on the other end.

Those of you who have been reading the blog a long time might remember my posts about waiting at bus stops. Well, those days are over. Man, those were soul-destroying times. Waiting for buses that never turned up or went by full can absolutely destroy a day. Of course it wasn't all bad - I miss the time just sitting listening to music. But, overall, going to work on my little bike is a thousand times better.

I wonder if there are any other early morning changes I could make that would contribute towards a better day?

As things speed up on the outside...

2009-08-20T09:45:00.000+01:00

...things are slowing down on the inside. I'm busy. Busy with work that requires the use of my brain.

I think that is causing everything else to be pushed out.

"Thinking of Maud, you forget everything else."

A bit more on the culture of notes

2009-08-17T09:56:00.005+01:00

A while back, I wrote a little on the culture of notes in television. To sum up, notes from execs usually amount to very busy people with no time to spend getting to know your show (or indeed any show) telling those who spend every waking moment on that show how it should be made.

The script-note sleep is a funny and yet infuriating phemomenon. I guess I should be grateful for those rest periods. I have found on just about every production that those people who live to cause problems in scripts rather than make them better go to sleep after a while. Sooner or later, you'll start to get some rather sparse notes. Inconsequential things. And maybe, if you're lucky, even some that say, "this is all okay."

Note, it's "okay". Would it kill them to say they actually derive some pleasure from reading a script? You know, I liked it. This will make a good show. Children would love it.

So you get a few sparse notes. This is when the beast sleeps.

And then...

...they wake.

Out of nowhere, you'll get a massive email going through a whole bunch of scripts in detail picking out any innane shite they can think of and, even more common, telling you to write different stories. The funniest thing in these mails is when you get a whole bunch of notes on a third draft script about concepts that have been present right from the very first draft.

And the only thought can be - did they sleep through those drafts?

Yes. Yes, they did. Or they were busy eating children.

But you know the most dangerous thing about this? About the culture of notes? It's when they're right. Because sometimes they are. It's when they find something that absolutely should never make it to air. Something that needs a complete rethink. Or something that could make a good episode into a far, far better one.

It can happen.

But notes are like a bad smell. Sooner or later, you become accustomed to it. You hit a point where you're not really reading them. Because the last thousand notes you have read only served to show he/she didn't read the script or hasn't understood the show.

So, when that one important note hits, it's buried in a long list of pointless ramblings.

And it's missed.

Or, by that stage, those on the creative end are in fighting form and they fight it out of instinct, not examining whether it's a good idea or not. They become stubborn. Hard. Because they have had to be in order to stay sane and save their show.

I've seen it happen. Several times actually.

Those who write good notes (and there are certainly some) generally write very few. Almost none. So, when they do, you take notice.

But, more often than not, they're just written by beasts who live in caves and eat children.

Zeitgeist

2009-08-13T09:30:00.005+01:00

Humphrey Erm asked in the comments if I have seen Zeitgeist and, if I have, what I thought of it. Well, I have seen it and there are several subjects brought up in that movie and each one covered with much detail so it would take many posts to go through it. But I thought straight away that I could give an overview of what I thought of it and my feelings on similar views, films, theories and so on. Just the surface.

For those of you who don't know Zeitgeist, it is a documentary film described as being about conspiracies. It is divided into several sections. One questions religion, the origins of Christianity and the subject of control and the church. One is all about the attacks on the World Trade Center. And the last is one that deals with conflicts in the 20th century and the interests behind them (mainly money) and very much presents us with the idea of a conspiracy.

So what do I think of it?

I think it's very interesting. I think it's something people should see. Do I buy it? No, not all of it and this is a problem I'll go into in a moment.

But there is one very important thing about Zeitgeist and many other documents like it - it presents questions. Whether you believe their point of view or not, it asks you to actually think about what you're being told, from all sides. Make up your own mind by all means, do what research you can with what resources you have available but at the very least just think.

Whether you come away from it thinking just about everything in it is bullshit, that message is extremely important.

If there is anyone who seems to be actively dissuading you from opening up to ideas and thinking about them, they have shit to hide. Plain and simple.

George W. Bush - "Let us never tolerate outrageous conspiracy theories concerning the attacks of September the 11th; malicious lies that attempt to shift the blame awayfrom the terrorists, themselves, away from the guilty."

But there is a huge double standard here.

If you take the official story of what happened on 9/11, for example, and go from the Commission report, that is the view that many accept because, of course, it is coming from official sources. It comes with a whole bunch of ideas, theories and, importantly, holes because some of what happened doesn't seem to be known - after all, there was a lot of destruction that day.

If you take something like Zeitgeist, it also comes with a whole bunch of ideas, theories and its own holes.

But for people to dismiss the Zeitgeist view of what happened, all it takes is for someone to debunk just one little part of the whole picture. It tears everything else down with it in the minds of a massive amount of people and those pushing the official events relish that as its existence and mistakes are used as proof as to why you should not question things at all.

And yet the official story, even if you buy the basics, stinks of bullshit. Certainly the missing black boxes/found paper passports is all you need to start thinking something doesn't quite add up. But, when it comes to the official story, it's innocent until, well, forever seemingly because even poking giant holes through it (which has already happened) doesn't seem to do any damage.

It's a huge double standard.

Another double standard comes in the expectation that, for a counter theory or even just question to be taken seriously, it must come from a quiet objective professor or someone. A film like Zeitgeist can be dismissed as alarmist, sensational and one-sided. Michael Moore of course gets the same thing - he's twisting it because he's one-sided. Not objective.

And that's often true.

But the other side is blasting out of Fox News and plastered all over papers in alarmist news stories, scaremongering and distraction techniques. It is in no way one-sided or objective. The 'official' sources won't present you with alternative views and all sides of the picture.

So why is it expected from those presenting a counter view? Just a double standard.

And the use of the term 'conspiracy theory' is used to dismiss any questioning, any actual thought process. But that's a term I reject. The official story, by every definition of the term, is a conspiracy theory: a shadowy unseen enemy, led by a madman in a cave, infiltrates the country and plots to tear down the thing they hate most - freedom.

One of the problem with the sheer amount of ideas and questions posed by something like Zeitgeist (and if you move beyond that and out into other sources, it gets worse) is that effect that I mentioned of tearing the whole thing down with just one crappy idea. Anyone know Alex Jones? Alex Jones comes out with theory after theory. And then more theories.

Much of them, I just don't buy. They just don't ring true. And yet others, well, maybe he's on to something.

But because he comes out with so much that can be dismissed, it damages his credibility across the board and yet I think he has at times asked some really relevant questions. But will they be heard?

I saw some guy on television several weeks ago with photos of the moon saying he could see moon bases in them. I couldn't see them. And I was able to dismiss him.

With so many views and a massive grey area between the ideas that ring true and the complete off the wall or simply incorrect or misguided or unresearched theories, I can't help feeling that these play into the hands of those with something to hide. They can put the truth out there in plain sight because people are so crowding the world with their own untruths that nobody anywhere will be able to sift through it.

Again, 9/11 is a good example. There are so many things that just don't quite seem right about that. Really obvious things. But sifting through the untruths would take a lifetime and by the time you got there people would have piled on so many more, you'd be back to square one.

I expect people with something to hide love the idea of 'conspiracy theories'.

Of course, I'm showing that I buy into the idea that people have something to hide. Of course they do. To think anything else is utterly naive and is not backed up by history. Where power and money are concerned, people override morality and do shit they shouldn't. That is seen throughout all modern history.

To see it, you simply need to take a glance at the history of finanicial powers like GE, the actions of the pharmaceuticals companies, Watergate, the actions behind many of the conflicts around the world since WW2 (William Blum's 'Killing Hope: U.S. Military and CIA Interventions Since World War II' makes for depressing yet somewhat obvious reading), the history of military testing and, well, actually you can look just about everywhere to see it.

And you'll only be able to see those times where things got out into the open. The actions of the large companies (again GE is a good example) make me sure of one thing - being caught in a criminal act does not in any shape or form mean they will stop doing it.

You only have to look at Operation Northwoods to know what people are capable of scheming. That is no conspiracy theory. It is, however, very much a conspiracy.

I told the story already on this blog but I'll tell it briefly again now. I was at the Cartoon Forum in 2001 in Germany, just after the 9/11 attacks. The only radio station I could find in English was the radio of a US Army base close by. On it, I heard that they had found conclusive proof that Saddam Hussein was responsible for the attacks. I got home and there was no news of this. Not even a mention that it was a proposed theory. Weird...

It was only years later when Iraq was invaded that it clicked with me - they were priming their troops for that attack back then. It was well-planned. The weapons of mass destruction thing was bullshit (as we found out). That was simply their reason for justifying the attack that they had planned well in advance. And 9/11 was being used to get the troops pumped for that attack.

So, where am I with Zeitgeist? I honestly don't know but I'll tell you this - much of what we are told stinks of bullshit. The reasons (power and money) are obvious and history backs up that those two things will cause people to do horrendous stuff and try to hide it. I don't know the truth. I can't know the truth.

But I know something stinks of bullshit and I think it's time people, like everyone, started thinking about that.

More on affirmations

2009-08-10T09:13:00.005+01:00

Just as an add-on to my last post, I should point out that I don't think affirmations in themselves are a bad idea at all and this little pic illustrates why. We all have our little voices in the back of our minds shouting criticism, usually based on past failures, that can be much more hurtful and restricting than anything we could hear from someone else.

I see affirmations as a potential way of pushing for some balance. Shouting some positive in an attempt to drown out the negative.

Zarathustra wrote in the comments, "Anyone who can be lifted out of their problems simply by repeating a feelgood proverb from a greetings card probably doesn't have that bad a set of problems." I agree. But that's not to say they can't help or be part of a process.

And Alex wrote, "Affirmations are about taking control of what you will concentrate on, because what you think about all the time is what you will get." For me, I believe this is true to a large extent. Certainly, our thoughts can become very limiting and self-defeating. They can hold us back becoming a kind of self-fulfilling prophesy based on where we perceive our place in life is or what has happened to us in the past or in an attempt to retain an identity. Making conscious efforts to adjust that thought process or even simply to interrupt the negative voices seems to make a huge amount of sense to me and I guess affirmations can be a tool useful for some to achieve that.

But I believe for that to really work, there have to be a couple of conditions.

Firstly, it has to be potentially true. By 'potentially' true, I mean something that isn't easily shown to be a lie. For example, if my brain is telling me, 'I am a loser', that is so vague that it can't be shown to be a lie. No matter what I have in my life, I could find ways of proving it. That's one of the reasons a message like that is so powerful. Saying 'I am powerful', while our negative voice can provide example after example why it isn't true, it can't completely be shown to be a lie. But even that may be a bit of a stretch in our lives and, if we can't believe it, we will reject it.

Saying 'I have rippling muscles and all the girls love me' is right out.

And, secondly (and where it applies to the example in the last post), it can't be more limiting than the negative messages. That would be totally self-defeating. For example, if I'm in a job shovelling pig shit and my negative message is, 'I will never be better than a shit-shoveller', I will live to prove that true and likely be very unhappy as a result. But if I repeat the affirmation in the last post to myself over and over, which amounts to 'I am happy in my workplace', the result is the exact same - I'll never be any better than a shit-shoveller because I'll be spending all my mental energies trying to convince myself to stay there.

What use is that?

That's a self-limiting affirmation. No better than 'I am a loser'. And probably worse because there'll be a bit of a Tell-Tale Heart scenario going on. The lie contained within that affirmation will eat away at us until it becomes too much to bear.

Life is hard enough without wasting our mental energies trying to convince ourselves that a really crap life situation is actually wonderful. Isn't it better that we put those energies into making a better life situation for ourselves?

Affirmations

2009-08-06T10:16:00.008+01:00

Affirmations - a positive way of changing our world from the inside out?

Or a dangerous delusion?

I was browsing through Apple's App Store the other day when I saw something that was labelled something like 'affirmations for creativity'. It was 79 cents and I thought, that's cheap and I'm creative, let's see what this is.

It's a series of cards from a lady called Louise L. Hay with the idea being that you look at one at the start of the day and it will help with creativity.

It downloaded. I opened it up.

And this is what I saw - "My job allows me to express my talents and abilities and I rejoice in this employment".

Hang on, I thought, there's a problem here. What if my job is a soul-destroying hell? Like, for example, back when I worked in advertising. Or what if I worked in a burger joint while my talent for sculpture went untapped? What is to be gained by telling myself that my job allows me to express my talents?

Louise L. Hay, I have to call you out on this. Personally, I think this does far more harm than good. Having people try convince themselves that they are happy in the status quo when in fact a life change could do them the world of good is positively dangerous. So let's say your affirmation works and they stay put, in Burger King, taking on your message each day to get through it. And, each day, they lose a piece of their soul, they get a day closer to death and a day further away from their dreams.

Who benefits?

I'm all for affirmations that can express our potential. Remind ourselves just what we are capable of. But an affirmation that could very well be a flat-out lie? How many people on this Earth do you think are genuinely in a job that can allow them to express their talents?

What you are saying to people is this - you are no better than where you are right now.

And I think that's utter bollocks.

On an unrelated note, I got an absolutely lovely mention over at the excellent Healing Philosophy blog. Thanks, Alex!

I also meant to mention the passing of John Ryan, of Captain Pugwash fame. A remarkable creative talent from a golden age of UK children's shows. Brian Sibley has put up a lovely tribute over at his blog and I left my feelings in the comments.

The climb

2009-08-04T09:04:00.003+01:00

I'm making some conscious changes. I've made conscious changes before but then slip back. Maybe that will happen again but a temporary move forward is better than no move forward at all.

It's like drawing. Okay so some of you artists out there blow me away and I can't possibly compare. But I bet you have some drawing habits, that probably started in your teens, that became your default way of drawing certain things. And you can improve and move past them. Learn better ways of doing things. But if you do 100 drawings in a row, you'll see those habits creep back and, by drawing 100, there'll be quite a bit of your teenage drawing in there.

I'm right, aren't I?

We learn and we get better. But those ways we learned, those patterns, they are still there somewhere. And it's by consciously overcoming them and by learning new patterns (in drawing, by repetition) that we can be better artists.

Well, you good artists anyway.

I think it goes far beyond drawing. It is simply how we live. We fall back on patterns. And those patterns, while often easier (even though it may not seem that way, we have to be getting something out of them on some level), are not always good for us.

But, with drawing, I think you have to see your patterns - that my hands always look like big gloves, for example - before you can really catch them and make them better.

Failing and succeeding

2009-08-01T12:26:00.008+01:00

I'm failing miserably at plain ol' life at the moment. The frustration and anger that came with something very simple, something for someone else that I managed to selfishly turn into my own battle (I lost), caused me to grip so hard on to my mobile phone that it bent and snapped in my hand, little pieces of glass going into my fingers. Just tiny pieces - it sounds far more dramatic than it actually was.

Pain in the ass really. It was a good phone and was part of an upgrade package so that one failed moment is going to cost me a lot.

Somewhere very early in childhood, I convinced myself that real life was too hard for me. And I've been living to that idea ever since. I don't know where it came from, how that happened.

So I live in my head and pretty much always have.

But here's the thing that has just occurred to me today - my head is an absolute bastard. I have close to no memories of my childhood. But what I remember vividly are the nightmares. I remember nightmares as far back as when I was three years old and remember them like they are happening right now and yet no real memories at all.

My head was a dark, scary place. Not some pleasant escape. I would retreat in there and end up tormented. Why? Like some sort of battered wife syndrome?

Even now, my life on paper is pretty good. The times when I feel wrong, tormented, unable to cope, it's entirely from within. And yet that is where I spend most of my time.

Those who have read my blog for a while know that my particular interest in animation and my work is in shows for young children, usually very young children. Sweet, innocent, happy work. I love it. More than that, I'm good at it. Even right now, while I'm having a hard time with the mundane in life, I'm involved in a project that is going to absolutely rock and I'm pulling the whole thing together and doing it damn well, even if I say so myself.

I've often told myself (and others) that it's because I work for the child I once was. I still think that's true.

But where I think I may have got it wrong is here - I thought that I was creating work that the child in me loved and thrived on. And now, I'm beginning to wonder if it's actually that I am creating work that may have gone some way to repairing that child. To, in some way, balance the dark thoughts. Maybe even overpower them.

I don't know.

I do know, as far as work goes, it's a strength. It's odd that it matters little what the state of my life is like or even my psyche - if I am doing the right work (being on the creative end of a show I believe to be good for children) - I can do a really good job. I am a success. And I love it.

But, as for the rest of my life, that is where I fail. I wonder if it's possible to fix that while not losing the strength in my work? I hope so.

A touch too late

2009-07-29T11:47:00.003+01:00

I can't really play the saxophone. But I was watching a bit of The Lost Boys the other day (what an excellent movie) and saw the bit at the start with the oiled-up guy and his saxophone solo.

Isn't it odd how the saxophone fell out of favour?

And it's not like it was replaced with another obvious instrument. We didn't get rock bands going around with clarinets or bassoons. The death of the saxophone in music heralded the death for all woodwind instruments.

Yeah, I know it's not made of wood but apparently the saxophone counts. I think.

And I wonder if a whole generation of saxophone players thought they were going to hit big in rock bands only to be laughed out of their Nirvana audition?

That must have been a right kick in the crotch.

Calm under pressure

2009-07-27T08:55:00.005+01:00

Like some sort of defense mechanism - stress-activated narcolepsy. Shame it won't kick in during the night, when I'm actually supposed to be asleep.

It's Monday again? What? How did that happen?

Thing is, the higher up you get in just about any work situation, the more you have to appear energised. Positive. Oh, sure, there are many people in charge who storm around being angry and shouty but those people are dicks and it never works for long. A pissed-off worker has never been a good worker.

Far better that you can inspire people.

In fact, that works in both directions. You can do better by inspiring those above you too. Radiating positive energy, without just being one of those goofy grinning types who look like they have lost all sense of reality. It's an important skill. In normal times, a skill that can help you rise. In recession times, a skill that can help you just survive.

But I'm finding it hard right now. Of course, sitting here listeing to Pink Floyd's 'The Final Cut' isn't going to help. That has got to be one of the most depressing albums ever. Have you noticed that the amount of positive uplifting albums pale in comparison with the amount of miserable depressing albums?

"It's the only connection they feel."

Tools

2009-07-24T10:57:00.005+01:00

I have just been trying out another drawing app on my iPod Touch. I have been using Brushes a lot and I find I'm only just getting the hang of it. I think if I were a painter, I'd get much more out of these because I'd have the know-how and experience to apply. As it is, I'm not a painter so I'm sort of just stumbling along.

But I was beginning to get somewhere with Brushes.

Now there's a new one - Layers.

Layers offers, obviously, layers. So what I do on one layer doesn't blend in with everything else. So, with this doodle, I could do a definite line over it all. I could do that in Brushes, but it would be a little messy and would require more advance planning. So Layers gives me more control to treat it like a drawing rather than a painting.

I'm more used to that.

But already I'm wondering if that extra tool becomes a crutch. The more tools I have, the less I have to work at it and I think somehow that shows in the results. I see that with animators. It's why I have rejected programmes like Toonboom. The more tools an animator gets, the greater the distance between them and the final result. The less actual control they have.

I wonder if I should buy some paints and try the real thing. Rid myself of the undo button...

Why the zombie apocalypse would be good for me

2009-07-22T15:30:00.002+01:00

Getting out the house. Finally getting some exercise. Spending time with lots of like-minded people. Eating out.

I would do well as a zombie.

People say exercise is good for mental health. I wouldn't know. Maybe I should try it some day. I'm not even playing my DS much these days, so even my thumbs are out of shape. When you're noticing your thumbs have love handles, maybe it's time to do something about it.

Maybe. But probably not.

Ah, who am I kidding? I'd never be a zombie. There are very few things in life I'm good at. Very few things I know about. But surviving a zombie apocalypse? I've done the research. I've got it all worked out. The only essential survival tactic I don't have ready is locating and flying a helicopter. I'm uncomfortable enough in a car and have a long way to go before I reach helicopter.

But everything else I've got covered.

The dark side of the moon

2009-07-20T09:34:00.007+01:00

I have an old book somewhere called 'Flying Saucers On The Attack'. It's all about UFO sightings and predates the moon landing (whether alleged or otherwise) by several years.

In it, they predict that there could well be a moon landing within something like 20 years (it took far less time than that) but, more importantly, in all seriousness, they predict that life will be found on the dark side of the moon and they could well be greeted by inhabitants when they arrive.

I have often wondered if any reputable scientists or astronomers actually believed that, or even believed that there was a slim chance it could be the case.

Probably not.

Still, would have been cool, eh? Moon men. Yeah, I'd love that.

There's a lot of crap in this world I don't buy. A lot of stuff fed to the masses that stinks of bullshit and just doesn't add up. And there are too many people with too much to lose and so much to gain to make it worth deceiving the world.

But I can also see just how attractive it is to just want to see more in this world than is actually there.

And I want moon men.

What happens when you sleep

2009-07-17T15:41:00.002+01:00

It's amazing how much difference broken sleep can make to a life. I don't even know exactly what sleep does but, whatever it is, it's important.

I've often thought that sleep provides a shutdown so you won't notice the switch.

You know, the switch.

Truth is, our bodies are only designed to last around 16 hours. Anything after that and we start to deteriorate rapidly, go out of warranty and could find ourselves clapping out at any moment. So our bodies need constant replacement.

We go to sleep. Shut down.

Someone creeps in to our room during the night and removes our body. They replace it with a replica. The next day's model. As our memories are transferred, so it can be done quickly, they go in all at once and it's pretty jumbled. Sometimes we remember little snippets of that process. We call those memories dreams.

Of course, this process is pretty cool during childhood because they add tweaks and improvements to each new model. But, eventually, the growth must stop.

And that's where the problems start.

You see, at that point, their job becomes simply to supply the same model. They make a copy. But it's like tracing a picture. There are very subtle differences. Barely noticable. But if you trace the newly traced drawing, then trace that and so on, the drawing moves further and further away from the original.

It deteriorates.

We know that as ageing.

But with broken sleep, the copy is either rushed to get in place before you wake up, or the switch is abandoned altogether and you end up spending another day in a body that just wasn't designed to last that long.

And that's what happens when you sleep.

A message from Jeremy Beagle and Studley Moore

2009-07-14T14:13:00.002+01:00

It's Brian Sibley's birthday. Get over there and wish him a happy birthday!

The need for sleep

2009-07-14T09:10:00.007+01:00

Today is a little better than yesterday.

I need sleep. A lot of it. All at once.

The lack of sleep is now inhibiting my ability to conduct everyday life. One way or another, that can't continue.

On the plus side, I can now do an excellent zombie impression with little to no effort. Not the rubbish fast zombies. Proper zombies. Those fast zombies aren't even zombies and totally miss the point. I've heard people justify them by saying - well, they're like zombies only more scary because they're fast and that makes them more dangerous.

Following that logic, they should be given guns. Then they'd be even more dangerous. Or nukes. Think how much more scary that would be. Hard to get more dangerous than that. Or even a death ray, like Godzilla. Actually, they could be bigger than skyscrapers too. Then, even their footsteps would be dangerous.

Totally misses the point.

It's the slow, shambling creeping death that defines them. Their strength in numbers, not the individual. A huge part of the suspense of a good zombie movie comes precisely from people being lulled into a false sense of security because they are slow. Mocking them. Letting their guard down.

That's why they work. That's what makes them creepy.

And when the zombie apocalypse comes (and it will), you people who think they're only scary if they can run or have death rays will be the first to fall.

You see, it's a metaphor for, like, life

2009-07-11T09:52:00.006+01:00

I watched The Wrestler last night for the first time. Or for the first time last night. Whichever sounds better to you. Probably the latter.

An excellent and sad movie.

Some of it was very cliched - the aging stripper romance, the estranged daughter - and some of it very much reminded me of the opening of Commando in terms of giving us a checklist of reasons to care for the character. Remember the opening of Commando? He's feeding a deer - that shows he's close to nature. Oh, look, he's teaching his daughter how to fish. That shows they are resourceful. And so on.

I got that same feeling from bits in The Wrestler. Like when he comes out of his van and messes with the kids. Ah, he has a heart of gold.

But Mickey Rourke's performance really elevated the film far beyond what I think was written there. At times, it could have been entirely real. It was nice to see Aronofsky make, you know, an actual movie. A very good movie at that.

And, of course, the appeal is obvious.

A man, beaten down by life, fights to the end. Even in the crappiest of jobs and, actually, even if we're not doing too badly at all but we feel we could be doing better, most of us feel that way through large portions of our life. Stripper - object of desire just out of reach. Who doesn't have that? Estranged daughter - we all have damaged relationships somewhere in the past that still affect who we are now. We want Randy the Ram to do better. Because we want to do better.

Pretty bloody obvious really. But far easier said than done to capture that in a movie. And they did it.

The one thing that separates Randy the Ram from most people is that he's always got fight left in him.

Whereas most of us, society as a whole, seems to have lost that fight. There's shit going on all around us and we take it. We don't punch a meat slicer and quit. We stay at the deli counter and tell ourselves we're doing a good job because we've got bills to pay.

I want to punch a meat slicer.

When the outcome is staring you in the face

2009-07-10T17:23:00.004+01:00

If Blogger let me (maybe it does and I don't know), I could just sum up my issues in one post and put it on a loop, to post maybe every three days.

The same thing.

I have bitten off more than I can chew. And whatever it is that I've eaten is now stuck to the insides of my mouth and I can't spit it out. I believe there is peanut butter involved.

I have many things on the go.

I shouldn't have.

What comes with juggling projects is juggling people. And I just realised today that I told one person that nothing has been happening with another project. A project that, next week, will be published as part of a list of projects going ahead. A list with my name all over it. Pox.

A simple mistake. A hopeful ommission more than a lie. To stick with the juggling analogy, I was simply trying to separate my balls. Ahem. That didn't come out quite right but you know what I mean.

Next week, my balls will collide.

And all I can do is wait.

For my balls...

...to collide.

It's a meme!

2009-07-09T10:32:00.002+01:00

The image doesn't relate to the post. It's just a little iPod pic I did and thought I may as well post it.

I was tagged by the most excellent Brian Sibley for this alphabet meme. Here goes!

A – Age: This should be O as in old. Mid-thirties.

B – Bed Size: I have no idea. Could be bigger? I'm so out of touch with bed sizes. I am unknown in bed size circles.

C – Chore you hate: I think simply coming under the heading of 'chore' means it's something I hate.

D – Dog’s name: I haven't got a dog right now but, if I had, I'd call him Jeremy Beagle. He'd be a beagle obviously.

E – Essential start your day item: Coffee. Must have coffee.

F – Favorite colour: Hmmm... not sure. Orange? I like orange. It's bright.

G – Gold or Silver: Silver. To me, they're just metals. An inch away from rock. I don't really get the attraction. Or the value. But silver just looks a little better than gold in my opinion.

H – Height: 5′10″

I – Instruments you play(ed): I'm going to say synthesiser but I'm really stretching it here. I don't so much play it as I very slowly select notes one after another. I'm rubbish at it but I have a little MicroKorg and love it. I used to have a Stylophone. Retro excellence. Of course, when I had it, it wasn't retro. It was totally now.

J – Job title: Animator. Animation director. Writer. Something. I don't know. Creative something or other.

K – Kid(s): Yep. Sleep? Not a bit.

L – Living arrangements: A tiny little house. It's like a miniature. I think it's made by Fisher Price. I need somewhere bigger to live. And money to pay for it.

M – Mom’s name: Mum

N – Nicknames: Nicknames sort of require friends to give them to you. If I were to assign my own nickname, it would be 'Ripper'. Or 'Stud'. 'Studley Moore'. Something along those lines.

O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Nose job. Not cosmetic - a deviated septum. I always was considered a bit of a deviant so it was nice to find out what bit it was. But what they didn't tell me (or I didn't listen) was that the op is not permanent. Basically it all collapses back after a while. Which it did. I can't be bothered going through it again because it was rather unpleasant. Blood seeped constantly down into my stomach where it went all congealed and black and then I vomited it all over the walls like a Nightmare on Elm Street movie. Nice, eh?

P – Pet Peeve: Lateness. I hate people being late. It bugs the living crap out of me. I hate waiting. I see waiting as my short life trickling away and for someone to make me wait should be a criminal offense. It is theft of life.

Q – Quote from a movie: "Well hello, Mr.Fancypants!"

R – Right or left handed: Right.

S – Sports: No thanks.

T – Time you wake up: 6.40am.

U- Underwear: Boxers.

V – Vegetable you dislike: Pretty much everything except baked beans and sweetcorn.

W – Ways you run late: I don't run late. But I sometimes have to wait for people who do. Should be criminal, I tell you.

X – X-rays you’ve had: A lot. I can't really remember. I used to get panic attacks that were associated with depression long before I was diagnosed. I thought I was dying and had just about every test in the book run, including many x-rays.

Y – Yummy food you make: Beans on toast. It's about the only food I can make but that's okay. I love it!

Z – Zoo favorite: Ring-tailed lemurs. And tigers. Rarrrgh!

So there you go. A lot of answers to a whole alphabet of questions. So I guess I better tag someone else then so these guys are next: Andy, Susan and Justin (of his excellent Juz, Jax & El blog which I have only just discovered).

And anyone else who would like to have a go.

Things Not To Do In Animation

2009-07-07T09:00:00.008+01:00

Oh there are a lot of things that piss me off in animation. But this is high up there on the list.

If you know a scene is not good enough, why would you possibly think it would get through the system? More than that, why would you want it to get through the system?

Bizarrely, this is a fairly common occurance in animation. Perhaps all jobs. But I would have thought in animation, people would be striving to do the best work they can. Individual animators can make or break a show and delivering a really nice end product would seem to be a fairly admirable goal. But even on a more basic mercenary level, the quality of your work will dictate your position in the industry. How well you impress your director will count for a lot in animation's small circle where word of mouth is so important. It can directly affect how much money you make, or even if you can find employment at all.

Still, this happens.

Oh well. In an industry so small, that tends to shrink more than it grows, I guess it's better for the rest of us that there are people like this. It's probably why I'm the one standing over the desk rather than the one trying to explain why my scene isn't good enough.

I'm listening to the new VNV Nation album a lot right now. I love it. Here's a track. I'd love to do a children's book with those guys. Yeah, a book and audio CD. That would be very cool.

It's waiting to be found

2009-07-03T17:18:00.011+01:00

Something's going to happen. Something wonderful.

Or at least I hope so.

Another iPod pic for the weekend. Well, almost the weekend. It's Friday and, now that I've done this little pic, no sense in hoarding it all for myself until tomorrow. I love the Brushes App. I have found there is a viewer that can export from it at high resolutions but it only works on a Mac so far. Damn my PC. Damn it all to hell.

Having said that, every time I do a picture I like, I see others. Others like these. And they make me appreciate just how rubbish I really am. But, still, it's fun.

Astro Andy finds an obelisk, just like 2001. And, to a lesser extent, 2010. I never really knew what the hell was going on at the end of 2001. It never really mattered. It's like Close Encounters Of The Third Kind for me. What actually happens after encoutering that obelisk, or going off in that spaceship, isn't what's important.

What's important is simply that there is something more than this.

Something more than our little lives.

Sometimes I wish I was born hundreds of years ago, when there was much of the world undiscovered. Or hundreds of years into the future, when hopefully we'll be getting off our asses and exploring space. To live in a time of real exploration would be wonderful.

I guess people are still finding new fish. That's cool. You know, if you're into fish. Speaking of which, I'd love to see a Whale Shark.

I'm babbling now. It has been a very busy week but, in parts, actually quite a rewarding week. I'm so, so tired though. I need a 16 hour sleep. I may get that some day. When I retire and the kids are all grown up.

That will be a good day.

Deadlines

2009-07-01T09:55:00.008+01:00

I'm busy. And tired.

So I need tools to manage both. One of the most useful tools right now is deadlines.

Deadlines help me manage other people's shit. If someone has three weeks to prick around, they'll spend three weeks doing exactly that. Give them 24 hours and that's a hell of a lot less shit to deal with.

So I have begun assigning arbitrary deadlines to everything. Absolutely everything. They don't relate in any way to when things actually need to be done. The only factor setting that deadline is how quickly I want it off my desk and out of my head.

And, when those deadlines hit, I make a decision and never think about that particular issue again. So far, it's working.

I'm finding first thing Friday morning to be a good deadline in general. If there's a last minute fluster and the usual realisation that things are going ahead with or without certain people, that gives that morning for any messing about. And, that Friday morning, I stop checking emails and don't check them again until Monday.

That leaves my head nicely clear all weekend.

Any issues that arise on Monday are either new issues to be dealt with that week or old issues relating to that deadline that has past. And, if that's what they're about, well, that ship has sailed.

The beauty of this is that it works all the way up the chain. Nobody - producers, suits, anyone in a responsible role - wants to be the cause of a deadline being missed. So just the mention of the word shifts all power down the chain.

It's fun. And it's helping me stay productive and, most of all, relatively sane.

Insert Title Here

2009-06-29T09:22:00.001+01:00

Be careful what you wish for...

2009-06-26T12:16:00.000+01:00

I feel a little isolated by my own pressure.

I have this constant feeling that I should be doing more. I've blogged about that before. Actually, you're probably bored to death with it. But it's still there - that I should be pushing in many directions. I'll push in a direction and be rewarded for that... but I'll find I don't want the reward because that reward is more work.

That's something I should be happy about. But I'm often left empty. Sometimes I think I try to do things simply to prove I can. Not because I actually want the end result.

Still, in a way, that feeling is coming from a good place. Right now, a show I was very closely involved with is taking off just a little more. And, some time from now, maybe in a year or so, that could turn out to be good for me. So I need to be ready for that.

And that means pressure.

On a totally unrelated note, check out this seemingly dull news story from the BBC. "Russia's energy giant Gazprom has signed a $2.5bn (£1.53bn) deal with Nigeria's state operated NNPC, to invest in a new joint venture. The new firm, to be called Nigaz, is set to build refineries, pipelines and gas power stations in Nigeria."

I can't be the only one to see a problem there.

On shoes and other feet

2009-06-24T09:45:00.002+01:00

I know what it's like to have some idiot tear through your project and give you a blow by blow account on why it's utter crap.

It's not fun.

The big problem with it is that it is so difficult to know what to take on board and what not to. People often say that you have to listen to criticism. I agree. But it's a mistake to take it on board without being absolutely damn sure you know what you are doing.

I have killed projects in the past by taking on suggestions simply because I felt I had to.

And yet the one success story I have is one where I was told time and time again that it wouldn't work. And I stuck my two fingers up to those people and went ahead and did it anyway. Turned out I was right and they were wrong.

But to arrogantly barge ahead without challenging your views, without really examining criticisms could be a recipe for failure.

So what happens when I have to be that pain in the ass guy to tear through a project? Well, honestly, I think I either like something or I don't. And if I really don't like something, I'm the wrong person to try to make it better because I'd be advising to turn it into something else and that's just not cool.

Rather than force a project I hate into something else, better I find a project I like and try to make it great.

That becomes much harder when a project has a great core concept but the execution is absolutely awful. How do you go to a creator with that?

I think perhaps a visual demonstration is required. I can hold their proposal in my hand, look into their eyes and smile, repeat in a soothing voice, "I love the idea, I love the idea," while setting fire to the proposal and watching it burn.

Somehow, knowing what it's like on the other side, I don't think that will quite do the trick.

2009-06-22T08:48:00.001+01:00

Totally swamped at the moment so apologies for the lack of updates and the lack of quality.

I'm really juggling things right now. I've gone into my production system of not reading any emails on a Friday or weekend. Because invariably someone will send me a work mail that will piss me off no end and I won't be able to deal with it until Monday.

It would simmer all through the weekend and build and build until I storm into the studio on Monday morning a little like the Hulk. Only not so ripped. Like a flabby Hulk. And I'd be angry.

And they don't like me when I'm angry.

Sure enough, when I came in this morning, there's a mail from a complete gobshite sitting in my mailbox that came in last thing Friday afternoon. That would have killed my weekend.

But today, I'm not the Hulk. I don't need to smash anything. I can deal with it on a Monday morning.

A project begins

2009-06-18T10:05:00.004+01:00

Things actually start off a little slow. For that first minute or so. But then the true volume of what needs to be done becomes apparent.

It's like an old-fashioned tale of heroes. Like Conan the Barbarian in that film, Conan the Barbarian.

You have people who will help. Assist. Contribute positively. The little magician guy, the thief and the sexy warrior lady.

And then you have some people who live to do everything they can to get in the way. To destroy a project. They are the villains of the piece. James Earl Jones and his henchmen.

And sometimes the odd seem insurmountable.

You may even lose a comrade in the journey.

But unless you take down James Earl Jones in his giant snake form, that project will be absolute cack when it makes it to air. If indeed it ever makes it to air.

A little overdramatic? Yeah. Yes, it is. But, as anyone at the higher end of a production will know, it's not far from the truth. We make the most gentle, silly shows about lovely things happening to lovely characters. And, in doing so, we're forced to become warriors.

I hope I'm the little magician guy. He's the one who lives to tell the tale.

A new hope

2009-06-16T10:39:00.004+01:00

It begins again.

I'm back in the studio. Back to production. Back to animation. Each project brings a new start. So far, I think this one is going to be good.

It's not all good. I cut my finger somehow. Don't panic - it's okay. No, really. I'll be fine. Just a small cut.

It's kind of nice to be among people again.

Finger painting for the weekend

2009-06-13T15:57:00.001+01:00

A little iPod finger painting pic for the weekend.

Some years ago, I decided I wanted to do a road trip. I'd get a large bike, go somewhere like Arizona and just ride wherever the wind took me. Total freedom.

I'd drink in biker bars, sleep in dirty motels and generally slum it.

I am not a man equipped for slumming it, believe me. But something just called to me. This was something I had to do. And I had to do it right then. No waiting. It had to be then.

Of course, that meant getting a license to ride a motorbike.

I got on a motorbike for the first time on a Monday. That Thursday, I failed my test.

That was the end of my road trip.

Now, years later, with a wife and children, having responsibilities that would make it less than convenient to die in a knife fight somewhere near the Mexican border, it's just another item on a long list of things I never did.

But maybe someday.

Maybe, years from now, when (if) I'm actually capable of growing enough facial hair to put together some sort of half-decent biker's beard, maybe I'll take that road trip.

Just ride off into the sunset.

The Culture Of Notes

2009-06-12T10:09:00.001+01:00

In the television industry, probably all across the entertainment business actually, there is a culture of notes.

What that amounts to is this - busy people who barely have time to look at a project, don't read scripts, don't understand the minds of the people the show is pitched to, don't know a damn thing about the project get to tell those who do know the project, do understand the minds of the audience, devote 100% of their time to the project what to do.

That's how it works.

It gets even more fun when there are multiple people doing this and you have notes that contradict other notes.

This is the way it is done. And because this is the way it is done, those in a position to give notes feel they have to in order to justify their salary and, more importantly, boost their egos and those getting the notes are told they must then fight to get to do things the right way rather than the arseways way suggested in a set of random notes. It turns every day into a confrontation.

And, for me, that's on children's shows. Shows for very young children. Shows that should be fun.

Reduced to a half-assed courtroom drama with clowns instead of lawyers.

People should not have to fight every day not to fuck up a show. This culture of notes is rotten. It amounts to people spending their days throwing spanners into rather delicate works. It's not fun. And it's counter-productive.

I actually wrote a rant a while back about a set of notes. I never posted it. But the main thing that sent me into a rage was that the person who wrote the notes made it abundantly clear that he hadn't actually watched one episode of the show. He didn't know it. He knew nothing about it and put that down in black and white on paper for all to see (e-paper, it was an e-mail).

And then offered his time for 'brainstorming'. Like we need a co-writer. One who hasn't done the bare minimum to find out about the show.

It took several weeks to come down from that rage.

On a project that, on every other level, is an absolute joy.

Surely it's not still 2009?

2009-06-10T14:56:00.011+01:00

I'm a bit tired at the moment. That's barely worth mentioning. It's like saying I'm doing a spot of breathing right now.

I have a feeling that something just isn't quite right but I have no idea what it is. That happens to other people, right? There's just something there... bothering me.

Things change next week. I've been writing on a project and, next week, production starts. My life will likely get a little crazy for a while but I like that. I like being busy. What I don't like is having to deal with some of the external shite that goes with that. Dealing with people who haven't an arse notion what they are talking about and yet think they need to give you 'notes'.

I must do a post on the culture of notes some time. It's utterly ridiculous and often self-destructive, leading to people who are barely familiar with projects making calls about things over the people who know the project inside-out.

Yeah, I'll go into that some time...

Just one more thing -

Susan sent me this link about a three year-old child who it seemed died from side effects of drugs to treat her bipolar condition. A three year-old child. Bipolar. I have to wonder if some people are familiar with toddlers. On their best days, they can seem absolutely stark-raving lunatics. That does not mean they should be doped to death with psyche drugs. But the earlier pharmaceuticals companies get children hooked on psyche meds, the more money they make. This is why they were pushing for mandatory testing on children entering the school system.

And I can't help thinking, with the amount of times that pharma companies have been hauled up in the courts (and so that only counts the shit we know about), if a person had been found guilty of even one of these crimes, they would be put away. Shouldn't companies guilty of crimes be forced to cease trading rather than given a fine and sent on their merry way to continue their crimes?

It's all a bit much

2009-06-08T09:40:00.001+01:00

Weekend iPod Pic Extravaganza!

2009-06-06T12:45:00.002+01:00

That image was just one of a whole bunch of doodles I did this week with the Brushes App on my iPod Touch. I haven't yet spent a massive amount of time on one but, in a way, I think that's what I'm enjoying about it. It's sort of having a little sketchpad with me, but one with built-in crayons.

I did a few Astro Andys too and, as it's the weekend and I like to post my Andy at the weekend (yes, I know it's a rare occurrance), here are some of them.

This following one is rather dull. Sort of old and faded.

Here's another.

But this last Andy one, well, it's simple but it's the one where I felt I was beginning to get the hang of this finger painting malarky. Just a little.

So they're the Andy pics. At least, the ones I'm willing to post.

But I'll leave you with one very quick doodle I did while watching a movie. Points will be awarded for correctly guessing the movie.

Have a good weekend all!

Everyone needs a Dr.Phil

2009-06-05T11:30:00.001+01:00

I love Dr.Phil.

I don't get to see his show very often but, when I do, I love it. Dr.Phil takes people with relationship difficulties, many of them being quite normal relationship difficulties rather than the loons you'll see on the Springers and Maurys, and he just sits them down and tells it like it is.

He just says what we all know.

Really obvious stuff. In that sense, you'd think he'd be redundant. But the people he gets on the show are usually completely blind to the obvious. And, when it comes to personal relationships, we all get that way some times. Why is that?

I'll see the most well-adjusted, rational people, people I would go to for advice, and yet when it comes to their own personal life, their families, they are entirely destructive. In their own personal relationships, normal people can be antagonistic, defensive and can do their upmost to make bad situations worse.

A common thread seems to be mothers.

What is it about mothers? They nurture and put in so much into bringing up a child. Having children myself, it's only now that I appreciate just how much work that is. And yet, when children reach a certain age, so many mothers seem to turn. They become just a little poisonous, seemingly totally unaware and without conscious malice, yet poisonous nonetheless. Is it that as a child gets to leaving home age, or beyond it, mothers resent the idea of losing their child and it twists them emotionally?

I don't know. But families, especially mothers, seem to love drama.

Family relationships are weird. To a large extent I see family as people you just happen to be related to. I take a very cold view on that. If someone is a pain in the ass, tries to guilt-trip you, tries to stir shit, my advice is always the same - cut them out of your life. Don't engage them. Just cut them out. Life is too short.

And yet I have very little by way of personal relationships, possibly as a result of that policy. So maybe I'm not the right person to ask.

But I'd trust Dr.Phil.

I think we could all do with someone like that. Someone outside your family unit to just see the obvious and beat it into our heads. I wish I lived with Dr.Phil.

More does not equal better

2009-06-03T10:12:00.002+01:00

I think it was Ken Levine, over at his blog, who said - if a film is over three hours long, it should not be eligible for 'best editing' in the Oscars.

I would agree.

Long films are often a chore. Not always. But often.

For example, I was bought those extended editions of the Lord Of The Rings films each Christmas three years running.

I still haven't watched them. It's not that I don't think I'll enjoy them. It's just that amount of time is a serious commitment and I can always think of several other shorter things I'd rather do. And I have to wonder, will they really be better movies than those already long movies I saw in the cinema? If anything, that Ent sequence needed to be a lot shorter.

More often than not, I find that cut scenes are cut with good reason. For example, the extended cut of Aliens added some good scenes on their own, but broke the flow of the movie in several places. Most importantly, they took the movie from being Ripley's story to something far less coherent. The DVD of Donnie Darko had the deleted scenes with commentary from the director in which he explained very well why those scenes didn't belong in his movie. The "Director's Cut" recut those scenes into the movie and, as it happens, it turns out he was right the first time.

I enjoyed Watchmen earlier this year.

And I'm looking forward to it on Blu-Ray. But it seems the Blu-Ray version is 3 hours and 10 minute. Now, at the theatrical two and a half hours, that film was on the edge. It kept me interested but was definitely on the edge. And, as a fan of the source material, there isn't one thing cut from the graphic novel that I missed in the movie. Do I need another half hour or forty minutes added to it?

No. I do not.

More does not equal better.