Just who do you work for?

"Non-partisan". I actually heard one producer use that. How far would he go, I wonder?

You wouldn't believe some of the stuff I've seen pitched. Or ads that agencies or clients wanted to produce. I don't even know if I believe in the concept of 'evil' but, if I did, I've seen it and heard it from my drawing desk.

Often, in the world we live in, making money overrides morality. It's like the "I'm just doing my job" is the out-clause for anything. Some tits even believe that's the good way of doing things - let market forces sort them out.

Well, it's a tired reference I know, but if you are a Stormtrooper on the Death Star, sooner or later someone is going to drop a proton torpedo into your little hole and blow the shit out of you. And you'll deserve it.

The last ad I ever animated on was for Pfizer. For asshole clients. It made me feel dirty. I haven't worked on an ad since. I guess I should count myself lucky that I've been able to avoid it.

100% Failure rate

As of yesterday's post, every one of my submissions is accounted for. Every single one of them a rejection. Every single one of them a form rejection, some not even bothering to put my name.

To everyone who sent me a rejection, fuck you. I hope your eyes get pecked out by sparrows (it will take longer than crows). And that you contract some hideous disease that causes your skin to tighten and tighten until it eventually rips and falls from your sick flesh. Actually, the sparrows can do their work at that point because I'd like you to see that, like the guy who saw his face peel off in Poltergeist. Then I hope you get... hmm... a paper cut. But a really bad one that stings. Then gets infected with maggots that eat away at your bare flesh until you eventually die an agonising death. But not before I give you a card that says I apologise for the stock response but your pathetic life has been rejected. I can't see a market for it. But I wish you success in your eternity in whatever hell you'll be going to.

Unless they reject you too.

If that doesn't happen, I'm going to find out who each and every one of you are and keep photos of you with me for the rest of my life. And some day, maybe many years from now, I'll spot you on the street from that cardboard box I'll be living in. And, when you pass, I'll put out my leg and trip you up. If I'm lucky, you'll graze your knee but, at the very least, you'll look like a tit.

And, then, when I'm close to death, I'll take each one of those photos and write 'FOOD' on them. Then, when the inevitable zombie apocalyse comes and I rise from the grave hungry for human flesh, the only memory I'll have is that you, each and every one of you, are my food. And I will eat your brains. I can't imagine your brains would give me much sustenaince but then a zombie doesn't digest food anyway. And, in a way, it's fitting - just like now, what little brains you have will be utterly useless. But I'll eat them anyway.

Fuck each and every one of you. The least you could have done was do me the decency of writing a proper letter. And putting my name on it. Gobshites.

I think I'm taking this rather well.

Hot days

Been hot the last few days. Yeah... hot.

I think on hot days, there should be guys in the studio bringing around cocktails.

Following the herd

I saw a thing on Drawn.ca here, which had people drawing themselves as teenagers. So I thought I'd join in. Thing is, I can't remember much of what it was like being a teenager.

The endless struggle

I see this sort of thing happen so many times. How hard is it to do things in the right order? Why start animation before you have an animatic? Why work with 'temp' tracks that mean nothing will fit afterwards? Why is there always that long period of inactivity followed by the need to start every process simultaneously?


What is it with some producers' fascination with doing things arse-ways?

My daily suicide attempt

Does this count as suicide?

I reckon the whole cholesterol thing is a complete myth. I had high cholesterol, completely revised my diet on doctor's orders, then had it tested six months later and my cholesterol had actually gone up.

Weird that killing yourself instantly is considered suicide but killing yourself through poor eating, drinking or whatever isn't. Maybe it's the intent that's important. Is there a self equivalent of manslaughter?

Thanks

I'm glad some of you enjoyed my little Astro Andy thingy a few days ago. With all my rejection letters mounting up, it was nice to have that little bit of encouragement.


It means a lot.