Even yet much bigger more adventures in advertising turbo

Back to the real world again. I didn't really travel back in time to rid the world of the insanity that is animation (one frame at a time!). Or perhaps I did and future Disney followed me back to destroy my time machine but I wouldn't know that because he changed history.

But, yeah, back to this world, if you can call it real, and one more litttle rant on advertising.

I don't know really why anyone bothers making ads. Clients would be happy with 30 seconds of their logo up on screen and nothing more. But ad "creatives" see themselves as mini-filmmakers, not the hack salesmen that they are, and so usually talk the clients into ads they don't really want.

But then it comes time to add that logo. Larger and larger it goes until your work is squeezed into a tiny window in the corner.

But, hey, who the hell cares? It's an ad. Not a piece of art or work to be admired. It's job is to bug someone into buying crap they don't need. So what difference does it make?

And yet more adventures in advertising

At a loss for a post, as yesterday's one shows, I knew I could fill the gap with yet another little advertising rant. I'm never short of ad rants. It was that or write a post expressing my disgust at just what has happened to Battlestar Galactica, a once-proud show that has now crapped its pants and everyone can see.

So I went with ads.

I'm sure everyone who makes ads sees this happen on a regular basis. I can't count the amount of times I have been asked to rip something off, the more direct the better. I have contributed to some godawful shameless rip-offs for people without a shred of creativity, and yet have 'creative' written on their business card.


I've also known several production companies to get hauled up on these rip-offs and, for some bizarre reason, they don't instantly point the finger to the ad agency. Why not? Those of us in the business know how it happens.


There's a good website on rip-offs here - You Thought We Wouldn't Notice


I'm lucky to have escaped being featured but I know some people who have made it on to that site, and with good reason. Having dumped ad work, I'm hoping to leave the rip-offs behind me.

It's easy if you try

Ever get sales calls at home? I get sales calls. Usually from India. I think the entire continent of India (is India a continent?) must be made up of call centres. Anyway, those calls piss me off no end. They bother me at home to sell me their shit. That's all they want - to get in my face to push crap on me.

That is all advertising.

Billboards everywhere. Getting in my face to push crap on me. Ad breaks every few minutes on television. Getting in my face to push crap on me. Banner ads all over the goddam internet. Getting in my face to push crap on me. In fact, I think there are very few places in this country I could go and not have ads getting in my face to push crap on me.

I don't get why most people tolerate it. I mean, does that Indian guy who calls you up and asks you how much you paid on your last bill not make you want to throttle him? Why is it any different for other forms of salesmen? And that's all people in advertising are - salesmen. It's rather hilarious that some see themselves as creators. Some even think they are filmmakers. The egos in the ad business are huge. And for what?

They're no different to those guys calling my house. They're salesmen. Trying to hawk shit. That's all they are. That's all they deserve to be.


I wonder if that guy sitting on the phone in India has a huge ego?

Even more adventures in advertising

Producer said no problem to this. Director wasn't so enthused. Luckily, it got tied up in the courts before the ad was even made.

More adventures in advertising

I could write a book on my brief foray into the world of advertising. It wouldn't be a very happy book but at least this particular story had a happy ending. If you're blatently racist, don't expect to win a pitch for an anti-racism campaign. You're at a disadvantage.


Do ad guys still negotiate that they can smoke in their office as part of their contracts?

Adventures in advertising

You can only hear a marketing guy for a sweets company (candy for you USers) say he's trying to sell drugs to kids for so long before questioning his motives.

Actually, drugs seem to be a common theme among marketing execs. Is it that they see themselves as the pusher? Probably. Or is it just that drugs are often at the forefront of their mind as they have been snorting coke just 15 minutes before the meeting? Maybe. I don't know.

Whatever it is, marketing people like drug references. Am I the only one who sees that as slightly inappropriate when it comes to targeting children?