Surely it's not still 2009?

I'm a bit tired at the moment. That's barely worth mentioning. It's like saying I'm doing a spot of breathing right now.

I have a feeling that something just isn't quite right but I have no idea what it is. That happens to other people, right? There's just something there... bothering me.

Things change next week. I've been writing on a project and, next week, production starts. My life will likely get a little crazy for a while but I like that. I like being busy. What I don't like is having to deal with some of the external shite that goes with that. Dealing with people who haven't an arse notion what they are talking about and yet think they need to give you 'notes'.

I must do a post on the culture of notes some time. It's utterly ridiculous and often self-destructive, leading to people who are barely familiar with projects making calls about things over the people who know the project inside-out.

Yeah, I'll go into that some time...

Just one more thing -

Susan sent me this link about a three year-old child who it seemed died from side effects of drugs to treat her bipolar condition. A three year-old child. Bipolar. I have to wonder if some people are familiar with toddlers. On their best days, they can seem absolutely stark-raving lunatics. That does not mean they should be doped to death with psyche drugs. But the earlier pharmaceuticals companies get children hooked on psyche meds, the more money they make. This is why they were pushing for mandatory testing on children entering the school system.

And I can't help thinking, with the amount of times that pharma companies have been hauled up in the courts (and so that only counts the shit we know about), if a person had been found guilty of even one of these crimes, they would be put away. Shouldn't companies guilty of crimes be forced to cease trading rather than given a fine and sent on their merry way to continue their crimes?

So I'm back at work. That's nice, eh?

I hate being sick.
I hate that I'm in the place the sickness came from.
I hate that people are 'encouraged' to come in and infect others.
I hate that I wanted to get in here as quick as possible this morning.
I hate that I can't get a straight night's sleep at home.
I hate that I don't have a peaceful place to go to.
I hate that crap going down from my nose into the back of my throat.
I hate that I can't stand up without feeling dizzy.
I hate bagpipes.
I hate that I no longer feel in control of my life.
I hate that, if I made a list of things I don't hate, it would be a much smaller list.
I hate that I take a grand total of about three sick days in an entire year and yet they have the balls to email me work stuff while I'm out.
I hate that I still haven't got any Christmas shopping done.
I hate that my life feels like absolute hell right now.
And I hate that it's not going to get better any time soon.

Living with Anger

The world is a shithole, yes. But I think the rage will help some of us survive it.

I often think that my depression is like an allergic reaction to the shit in the world. The world is a hideous place - full of greed, pain, suffering, war, violence, lies, domination, manipulation and worse. While these things are going on, while there are people out there suffering, of course we should expect a reaction. It makes total, complete and undeniable sense.

Those who go about their lives in ignorant bliss, they've got to be living in denial. Or plain out and out insanity.

But they are the people better equipped to go about their lives. Far better equipped than I am.

The solution, society's solution, is like taking paracetemol to mask a headache caused by a brain hemorrhage: medicate those displaying the symptoms.

I remember after the bombings in London several years back, people in government saying that the best thing is to go about your normal lives. Otherwise the terrorists have won. But who really wins by us burying our heads and not looking up? Who wins by keeping us asleep? Keeping us ignoarant? Supressing that anger, that disgust?

There are people afraid that society will wake up.

Afraid that society will go off their meds. Their televisions. Their drugs. Their beer. Their sport. That we'll wake up. And that, when we do, we're going to be angry. Really angry. Because we have every reason to be.

But here's the thing - those things that make us angry? We'll be able to do something about them. We'll be able to look at something, think that pisses me off, I'm going to make it better and then actually act on it. Make a difference. You can't act on anything while going about your 'normal life' because that living that life means shutting out all of that crap in the world. Pretending it doesn't exist.

Which is better - living a happy life pretending that everything is fine when it's not, or realising the world is full of shit, being angry about it and working to change it? If more people took the time to get angry, perhaps there would be less to be angry about.

Or maybe we'd just piss each other off. Nothing worse than a room full of angry people.

I'm wishing for a better world.