Bring on the storm

Watching people under pressure can be rather interesting. Everyone handles it differently. Well, I say everyone but I'm sure if you got enough people together you'd find many handle it exactly the same. So it would be more true to say that some people handle it differently. But that doesn't have as much impact, does it?

I've seen people break out in rashes or get quite physically ill. I've seen some people just shut down, usually vanishing never to be seen again. I've seen some lose all interest in anything, just breezing in and out oblivious. I've seen some people turn into big lumps of rage. And I've seen people love it and work at their most efficient.

While I'm not really in that latter category because real pressure, as in an impossible deadline, I just think well what's the point? If I don't have a chance of winning, I don't like to play. But a tough deadline? That's different. Oddly, the closer I get to a deadline, the more I begin to actually care about something. Not sure why that is.

But I also react to stress the same way I react to pretty much everything in life - I get really tired.

Man, I'm sleepy.

But it's interesting to watch people under pressure. I'm seeing some catastrophic balls-ups right now. Like a ballet of dumbass mistakes. Which then lead to more pressure - it takes more time to do stuff badly and then have to fix it than it does to do it right the first time.

Always does.

If only they knew

I wonder if the Wiggles guys get stressed? Or those Imagination Movers guys? I look at their shows and think - that must be fun. Is it a 'grass is always greener' scenario or are they really having as much fun as it seems?

We're making a nice little children's show. The end product should be rather pleasant. It should feel relaxed. Calming even.

But behind the scenes, there's a war going on. My sanity, an innocent bystander caught in the crossfire. I think this comes down to the lunacy of making shows one frame at a time. At its very core, animation is an act of total insanity. Back in the day, shrinks would have recommended lobotomies for those suffering from a severe case of animation. Okay so for a while they were throwing around lobotomies for a runny nose but the point still stands - animation is, technically speaking, nuts.

Loopy.

Bananas.

At least with the modern days of Flash, a missed mistake isn't a full-on apocalypse. It's easier these days to fix stuff. Back when I started, if you got notes back on a scene, you could be pretty sure you'd be starting from scratch. I once animated on a music video for someone rather famous. The whole animation sequence was planned out to match a live-action segment she was shooting. As it takes longer, we started the animation first and were close to finishing when the shoot took place. Well, she turned up to the shoot, decided to wear a different outfit and wouldn't let anyone tell her otherwise. The animation no longer matched and every frame had to be redrawn.

And now she's a withered old has-been so joke's on her, eh?

But back to now. As I write this, there is a document of required fixes that would take more time just to read than we have to fix them. I suspect we're in trouble.

Panic

What's odd in situations of panic is that my depression is never an issue. I remember years ago, when I was going through a bad patch (like, a really bad patch), I was just about to start a fairly big project and I had in important role in it.

I was asked by someone involved, who knew about my problems, if I'd be able to do it, what with the depression and all. Would I crumble?

I said no, of course not.

But I was really thinking yeah, I'm pretty sure I will but I need this project.

Not only did I not crumble but, once I was in the thick of it, the depression was put to one side and never became an issue. The more stressful it got, the more I'd initially be sent into panic, which isn't good, but that panic would always be followed by a feeling of action - the need to overcome challenges. In a way, I found myself thriving on the panic because it gave me very clear goals and, as it turns out, I'm not bad in a crisis.

Panic is where I'm at right now.

And it's not all that bad.

BONUS: Today's Reason To Be Angry (it's a Sky News link and you shouldn't click it if you are on the verge of depression, are already convinced human life is an abomination or, alternatively, if you are happy living in a bubble of complete delusion)

Stress levels increasing

Unfortunately, I don't have narcolepsy. So the stress around here is getting to me. I had this project pegged right from the start - budget was too low for what they were trying to achieve, not enough resources, a producer happy to exist in a state of total denial and the implementation of chaos where there should be systems.

Welcome to animation.

So we're coming close to the end of this godawful project and some people are finally beginning to realise where we're at. Shit is hitting fans all over. Or it would but we only have one fan in here and it's not needed in this weather.

Man, I'm looking forward to getting this thing finished. It's not fun.

And that kind of leads into Sephim's questions in a comment - "What would be your dream project?" and "What kind of project do you dread?". Good questions and ones I'd like to give a bit of time to so I'll save those for another day when my stress levels aren't pushing me to just buy a plane ticket and pissing off somewhere without telling anyone. Somewhere in South America I think.