Wednesday, December 7, 2011

December again

Every now and again, I come back to this place... my old blog. There is a lot to look back on and always a reminder of a particular time in my life. A while before I sort of wound down the blog, I stuck in one of those Google Analytics code things to see how many people were coming to the blog. Turns out it was pretty popular.

Obviously lack of posts caused that number to go down and down. But, looking at the little graph now, somewhere in October it began to go up. And it rose through November to now. Why? Was someone linking to my blog? Writing about it?


It was simply coming up in Google searches more as more people searched for information on 'depression'. It's that dark time of year. Wouldn't it be nice to take my increasing numbers as something positive? The truth is, it's a bad sign for many people. I think I'd be happy if my blog never came up in searches again because nobody needed to know anything about depression any more. Because it was a thing of the past.

But it's not.

Depression is still all around us. Probably more now than ever. It's a tough time of year for many. But you know what? This is why I appreciate all those who blog about depression and tell their stories. So that people who realise they or a loved one may be facing depression have somewhere to go. Real survival stories to read. And even the stories that did not have happy endings, to serve as a reminder that, sometimes, people need help and it's not always obvious. Every one of you who have written about depression help.

Being that darker time of year, I hope you're all doing okay and are looking out for yourselves and others.

And those writing about animation, well look, some people are just beyond help. Making films a frame at a time? Honestly, it's too late for those people. Just get out before they drag you down with them.


susan said...

Yeah! You wrote! I've missed you Bitter.

I've actually been getting a lot of hits lately from your blog. It made me sad, because I would go to your blog and see you haven't posted since April. It makes sense though- depression.

Strange word though. I was talking to a relative of mine this past Thanksgiving, and he mentioned "Depression". Only he wasn't talking about mental depression, feeling sad. He was talking about the Great Depression- the stock market crash in 1929. The food lines, the scores of people out of work. The Grapes of Wrath. You know.

With all the "Occupy" movement I've been getting some hits- from depression, only from sources not interested in depression. Most are still from the depression we suffer- but some- I would guess 5-10 percent are the other kind, and they have increased since the "Occupy" movement started.

Regarding the other depression- the Black Dog kind that robs our soul- I am grateful for you as a blogger and a friend- because when it's really bad, I have a folder on my computer of your little animation jpegs. I run it through my Mac's system as a screen saver or slide show and just watch. And smile.

Please don't let this blog die. It's a lot of work keeping an active blog, especially if you aren't paid for it. But you help so many people. You give hope to so many people with your cartoon illustrations. You never know but I am sure it's happened to you, that some night, somewhere, someone was at the end of their rope and suicidal- they come across your blog and for what ever reason, they read. And read and read. And the feeling passes, and they leave with something they haven't had before. Hope.

You give us hope Bitter. Keep on blogging. Don't let this blog die .

Red Pill Junkie said...

So the beast awoke from its slumber, eh? is it that time of the year when the peasants present a gift of beautiful virgins awaiting at the cave? :P

November was a horrible month for me, but I definitely have to say December is showing an excellent start. 2 days ago I was lucky to shake hands with one of my all-time idols (Spanish author J.J. Benitez), I both expressed my undying admiration for his work, and BERATED him for the odd road my life took because of his books.

And now, this little post from a guy I've missed tremendously, is just the icing of the cake.

I really couldn't add much to what Susan wrote, aside from a whole-hearted Ditto. Not finding any new posts at this site is a bittersweet sensation, for although I always got so much from your insight and POV, knowing that a lack of updates meant you were doing OK from your side of the tube was very comforting.

Take care amigo. And to all the people visiting this site, who might be dealing with depressions of all kinds, know this: this blog is a story of success, and it's proof that there IS light at the end of the tunnel.



Bitter Animator said...

Thanks guys, such lovely messages and always great to hear from you both!

Hope things are going okay for you . Sorry to hear November was bad, RPJ, but great you got to meet a personal idol!

You know, I never really thought of my absence in the way you have, RPJ, but you're right. It is a success story. One I stay vigilant about, given the nature of depression, but a success nonetheless. I miss the place though and I got so much from posting here, not least of which was some great online friends. I got a lot of personal things out here and maybe it still serves that purpose - I often need an outlet for this stuff. But I should rename it My Unmedicated Cartoon Life.

Nice to have your comments and they mean so much. You guys totally rock, you really do.

nochnoch said...

just happened to stumble across this blog
i love the creatiity
i've been struggling with depression these last 2 years. surprisingly, it's brought back my passion and creativity in writing

Red Pill Junkie said...

Happy people don't build civilizations.

Unfortunately, sad people are unable to enjoy the fruits of their work --the ones that do are the happy people; it's something of a paradox :-/

Bitter Animator said...

Yes, I found a link with depression and my creativity too and wrote about it a few times here, although where they are buried in the archives I have no idea.

I guess it takes dissatisfaction to really see what you wish to see better. It's the catalyst for a mission, helps you be a seeker. When you find happiness, what reason have you to keep looking?

paz said...

I actually stumbled upon this awesome blog by searching "depression and comics" and "depression cartoons".

The thing is, I've been meaning to start a blog of my own, and actually did start one two weeks ago--the Melancholically Manic Mouse, or at least that's what I'm calling it for now. bleh. hehe.

And a few days ago I had decided to get back into drawing and to incorporate illustrations--basically make it a blog with illustration as a feature element or focus so that all the personal tragedies I want to share can be mitigated through little comic vignettes, humor and art, etc. So as I browsed--seeking inspiration--and looking at what other comics did with topics such as depression (and i found few), I came here and found a lot of that inspiration I was craving! So, glad you updated!

I've dealt with depression off and on since I was 13. I'm 26 now. And I guess I'm also an artist of sorts (though I find it hard to call myself that), and I'm one that's still trying to find a focus, settle on a medium and whatnot. So anyway, I just really fell in love with this! It's like a little communion reading something that seems so familiar from a complete stranger.

Been reading it most of the day. You rock good, Bitter Animator sir!

Bitter Animator said...

Hi Paz,
Thanks so much for the lovely message! Would love to see your blog. Would you like me to link to it?

paz said...

Sure thing. I realized i rambled on in that comment. hehe. It's

I just started the thing. And i'm no illustrator, much less an animator. But I enjoy (and miss) drawing almost as much as I enjoy writing and playing music. :)

Sibat said...

hey dude....i love your site...i feel better knowing i am not the only one depressed .......

Red Pill Junkie said...

Remember the words of Br'er Bill, you guys:

It's just a ride :)

Bitter Animator said...

Absolutely, RPJ. He was a wise, wise man.

susan said...


You were just given a shout out over at "This week in Mentalists-the best of the Madosphere"

Happy Holidays and keep on drawing.

paz said...

I'm proud to say Bill Hicks was from Houston. He, unlike me, got out of this place quick. Indeed wise.

Curiosity said...

I know I"m late to the party here, but I just happened across your blog and wanted to let you know that what you said resonated with me.

I find this too, that the hits to my blog are way higher than they should be given how much I've had to walk away from it lately. And it makes me happy in part that somebody is still reading those things. But like you, also sad at how many of them got there needing to know that they aren't alone in those kinds of struggles.

Of course, the other set of hits is from people looking for cute animals and stick figure sex. I guess there's always a need for that too.