Dark mornings

Getting up while it's dark is just not right. It's against all laws of nature. Well, except for nocturnal animals like owls or vampires or whatever. But, for we dayturnal creatures, night is for sleep.

So why does my alarm clock go off when it's still night?

It's just not right.

It's around this time of year that I propose my hibernation plan. Every human on the nothern hemisphere should hibernate from the months of October to March. Or perhaps beginning in November, just to give time for people to get things ready.

We'd stock up on food, DVDs, games and so on and then just lock ourselves away for those months. Nobody would go anywhere. Nobody would do any work. And then, in the spring time, we'd all get back to it totally refreshed and ready for anything.

Don't worry about the world during those unproductive months. We'd adjust. In fact, it may turn out we never needed them at all. In animation, it is the norm to work stupid hours and have no life coming up to deadlines. When I first got into a position where I could call the shots, I put an end to that where I was. I actively forced people out of the building to go home. And, once people realised that they only had a certain amount of hours to get their work done, they adjusted, worked harder and smarter and got the same amount of work done in fewer hours.

I suspect that could work on a far larger scale.

And we'd always have the southern hemispherers to keep things going, just like we northerners would when they get their hibernation.

If I ever run for Ruler Of The Known Universe, that will be one of my core policies.

More on hibernation

Yeah, I could really see this working. It would work for me anyway.

As for the problems of the maintenance required to run the planet, well, there's an obvious answer to that one, isn't there?

Robots.

Yes, robots. It's the Space Year 2009 and there's no reason robots can't run things while we're hibernating. Not everything of course, but we'd just need basic life support going - heat, energy and so on. Perhaps pizza delivery. If Big Trak can bring me an apple back in the early 80s, robots can run a power plant or chase rats out of bins in 2009. No problem at all.

It's not like a zombie apocalypse or a plague scenario because that assumes that the area inside residential dwellings are up for grabs too. But they aren't in the hibernation plan and that's a massive difference in the available surface area for cruel, cruel nature to take hold. And then, outdoors, every year we'd have the March Spring Clean. A festival week before we return to real work where we all get together and make the outdoors inhabitable. Due to the months of little human contact, the March Spring Clean would be a great way of getting us used to other people again and would provide a warm and fulfilling bonding experience.

A treat for the soul.

See, there really is no down side.

And from November through February, we'd all rest. Play games. Sleep. Read some books. Sleep. Watch a few sitcoms. Sleep. And so on. We'd make our own heaven.

Cold and wet

Okay so it's tough to start the year in a more active way when this is what you experience first thing in the morning. It's miserable here. Like, if a director wanted to portray depression, he'd spend millions on rain machines, grey sets and night shoots to get that atmosphere just right.

Me, well, I just go to work.

I may have mentioned this before (if I did, it would have been this time last year) but I really think we should hibernate. In October, we'd stock up on frozen food, drinks and treats, we'd get a huge stash of DVDs and books and games, we'd get into fluffy pyjamas and we'd hibernate. Just lock ourselves away, sleeping most of the day and just relaxing or eating when we're awake and we'd do this from November until the end of February.

Thing is, it would only work if everyone did it. Within a few years, it would become normal and life would run just swimmingly from March to October because we'd all be rested and full of energy and life.

I mean, psychologically I pretty much hibernate during that time anyway. I'm sure I'm not the only one who does. So why not go all the way?

Who's with me?