Blogday Week Favourite - Changes

Only choosing a few, it's hard to find the posts that really mean the most to me. But this is one of them. This repost comes from June '08 and it comes after the death of my dog, my oldest friend who had been with me for 17 years. Hard to believe that was well over a year ago now. I miss him all the time. I think I always will.

But the realisation that life continues for the living comes at unexpected times.
I've been pretty down lately. Losing my dog hit hard. The dog people among you will know what I mean. Those of you who aren't dog people, well, take my word for it that it's hard. 17 years is a long time. And I had to just get on with it at work and be professional and all that, and in everyday life too, so I was just burying how hard this is inside and it has been kind of eating away at me.

And I've had tough weeks and tough weekends around all that. Things, generally, have been pretty crappy. Then there's the thought of this godawful company outing.

Well yesterday I had managed to track down some of that Indy Lego I was looking for. I went out to get it at lunchtime and got absolutely soaked on the way back - how did everyone else know they'd need coats and umbrellas? And on the way back I was thinking about this company outing. I've been dreading it from the moment it was brought up. I can think of about a thousand different things I'd rather be doing and most of those involve sitting on my couch not being out with people I work with.

But then I thought, okay, I'm going. Accept it. Who knows, it might not even be awful. Maybe, just maybe, I'll find something to enjoy. Maybe not.

Suddenly, one little weight was lifted. It's still a crappy company outing and it's just one little part of my life but I think what it did was signify a willingness to just get on with things. Some forward momentum. I've still got some life to live and I'm going to just go do it.

A small change but a change nonetheless.

It helped.


Then I was rained on again on the way home and I realised I was just being delusional.

What happened while I was waiting for the bus...

No, nobody died, though that would likely make a good story. No, I just couldn't think of a suitable image to go with this post so drew me on a bus smiling and the caption just sort of came to me. Not really much to do with the actual story though.

I found myself waiting for a bus yesterday. I had been waiting for some time. It's November, icy cold, and it was a Sunday so there were many places I'd rather be, not least of which was my living room sofa.

Cold and fed up.

One by one, cars passed but no sign of the bus. Then a blue car approached, just like all the rest. As the car passed by, the driver gestured behind him. I thought - is he gesturing to me? Did he have something in the back seat? Something behind the car?

Ah... the bus is behind him.

And it was. Several seconds later, the bus appeared from around the corner.

A stranger, with one gesture, was telling me 'Don't worry mate, your wait is over'. A simple gesture. A simple message. But one of reassurance. Of hope even. To a stranger standing at a bus stop.

It meant a lot to me. I smiled for that whole bus journey.

Changes

I've been pretty down lately. Losing my dog hit hard. The dog people among you will know what I mean. Those of you who aren't dog people, well, take my word for it that it's hard. 17 years is a long time. And I had to just get on with it at work and be professional and all that, and in everyday life too, so I was just burying how hard this is inside and it has been kind of eating away at me.

And I've had tough weeks and tough weekends around all that. Things, generally, have been pretty crappy. Then there's the thought of this godawful company outing.

Well yesterday I had managed to track down some of that Indy Lego I was looking for. I went out to get it at lunchtime and got absolutely soaked on the way back - how did everyone else know they'd need coats and umbrellas? And on the way back I was thinking about this company outing. I've been dreading it from the moment it was brought up. I can think of about a thousand different things I'd rather be doing and most of those involve sitting on my couch not being out with people I work with.

But then I thought, okay, I'm going. Accept it. Who knows, it might not even be awful. Maybe, just maybe, I'll find something to enjoy. Maybe not.

Suddenly, one little weight was lifted. It's still a crappy company outing and it's just one little part of my life but I think what it did was signify a willingness to just get on with things. Some forward momentum. I've still got some life to live and I'm going to just go do it.

A small change but a change nonetheless.

It helped.


Then I was rained on again on the way home and I realised I was just being delusional.