VROOOOOOOOM!!!

And, due to a design flaw, the jackhammer sometimes punctures the bags in the vacuum cleaners and the console dies and you get the Red Ring of Death. So my console died, I called Microsoft and they sent it back to me alive and well.

Is there a number I can call to do the same with my dog?

The Irish booted out the European treaty thingy, which was nice. Good to see they have at least a pretence of a democracy, even if it usually amounts to voting for who will get hauled up in a tribunal in 10 years. Well I thank the Irish for standing up for the rest of Europe, who weren't given the chance. Though you know it will get pushed through anyway, right? Whether you like it or not. They'll slap a different name on it or whatever and, sooner or later, your country will just be a state ruled by some guy you didn't vote for and can't understand. Unless you live in the UK, as they'll probably reject the whole thing and join up as the 51st state of the US. Yeah, fun times ahead. Fun times indeed.

It was only a matter of time

My one escape from reality kicked me in the pants at the weekend with the infamous Red Ring of Death. Goodbye Grand Theft Auto. Goodbye whatever else I played on that thing (can't quite remember). Goodbye.

In terms of hardware failure for just about anything, like any piece of equipment from the Stone Age to now, the XBox 360 has got to be the worst piece of kit ever. Never have I heard so many stories of consoles dying. In fact, I always counted myself lucky being the only person I knew who didn't have a problem.

When I say 'always', I mean for the six months that I owned the console before the RRoD came my way. Six months. That's how long I got out of it. I could buy a 360, then find out I have seriously aggressive cancer all through my body and still outlive the piece of crap. They should warn you about that in the manual at least.

It has to be some sort of conspiracy. I just haven't quite worked out what it's about yet.