Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Why I am medicated

I wasn't in a bad place this time around. I had been off the pills for a good few years and was doing pretty okay. But I could feel a little downward slide. Just a little.

But that wasn't the main issue. This was the main issue:

I had neve been so prolific in all my life. I was bombarded with ideas, stories, characters. All great stuff. My mind was racing at 1000 miles per hour. It was amazing and something I should be really thankful for.

The problem was that I couldn't shut it off. I tried. I tried all sorts of methods. Even hypnotherapy. But I couldn't sleep. My head just kept on going at a steady 1000mph. And I couldn't sleep. Eventually, it became too much. I had to risk the loss of productivity for some calm in my life. Having been through this several times before, I knew it was related to the condition. I knew getting on pills for six months or more would just slow down my brain.

Did it work? Yep. But, as I feared, the ideas have slowed. Some of them are still there but I need a lot more effort to dig them up. I still don't know if the trade off was worth it but I'm enjoying the ability to sleep.

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