Wednesday, November 21, 2007

It's a Clockwork Orange all over again

I pulled a muscle in my head. While having sex.

Firstly, what the hell do I need a muscle in the back of my head for? I can't lift anything with it. I can't do anything with it. The first time I was even aware of having a muscle in the back of my head was when the agonising pain hit.

And this happens while having sex? Not just having sex - right at the moment of, well, you know... orgasm. No point in beating about that particular bush. Right at that moment, my head suddenly felt like it was going to explode. Hideous pain. I thought I was having a brain hemmorage. I'm pretty sure that's not how you spell that but you know what I mean.

It's been sore ever since. I feel like I'm being punished for having sex. I've been too terrified to try again. Or even crack one off (well, I went with the whole orgasm thing so that pretty much greenlights any topic). I just imagine that moment in Scanners where the guy's head explodes.


Has someone conditioned my mind to punish me when I have sex? I smell a conspiracy.

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