Monday, May 11, 2009

That large thing...

What the hell is that? A beach ball? Or am I just getting fat?

I was a skinny kid. Like a stick skinny. In my twenties, I grew a belly. That was okay. Sure, it meant I couldn't wear those tops I bought from that excellent gay clothes shop which had such fantastic stuff designed by the owners themselves, but I didn't mind.

I was never bothered about my weight.

I did notice when I was interviewed about a project a few years ago that I looked very round. It was a bit of a surprise but didn't bother me. Never bothered me. Even when that woman attempted to compliment me by telling me I didn't look quite as fat in real life.

And now, there is this thing between me and my laptop.

And holy crap, I think it's my ol' dad's belly. It bothers me. Now, it bothers me. Why now? I don't know. Maybe it just hit a point where I can actually just see it in front of me. And I don't like it.

That bugs me in so many ways. Bugs me that I have this thing above my waist. Bugs me that I care. Bugs me that I wish I didn't have it. I've never really wished anything about my appearance before. Well, except I didn't want to lose my hair so fast. I know weight is an issue for so many people, both male and female. To me, this is all new.

I don't know what to do with it.


There's something not quite right with that image, is there? It looks like I've, well... it doesn't look good.

9 comments:

susan said...

Oh Bitter!

From that picture it just looks like you are pregnant. There are pregnant men now you know......

if you can rule that out... maybe it's the dang meds putting on weight- some of em are notorious weight gainers. I put on almost 75 lbs on a couple, lost 45 and it's taking over a year now to loose the remaining.

Or maybe, it's just you live where the Guinness flows into the River Liffey- if I recall my Joyce correctly.....

Anyway that picture made me laugh so hard I just blew Corn Flakes and milk all over my laptop. So much for breakfast....

Brian Sibley said...

I think it looks like someone (probably a Mr Man character) scratching his bald head!

Red Pill Junkie said...

That's the only advantage of having suffered obesity since infancy: You don't get caught by surprise with overweight during your 30s.

People that were always skinny and could eat anything they wanted during their early years are ill prepared for the time when their metabolism begins to slag.

My advise would be to go see a professional Nutritionist. Trust me: it's cheaper than buying a whole new wardrobe —and less bothersome, if you're like me and hate buying clothes because you hate changing rooms.

Andy J. Latham said...

I think I'm where you were in your twenties. My metabolism gave up about two or three years ago and a went from being a skinny runt to being ever more pleb-like.

And it worries me now too. If you find a way to deal with yours, let me know!

Mr. Trombley said...

Dear Sir,

I believe it was Eubie Blake who put it best: "If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself".

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=22913880

Of course, the question of why the body breaks down is very interesting to an engineer. There are reports of people living upwards of a hundred years with perfectly functional complex joints. Well, maybe not perfectly.

I think that the sagging and aging you are experiencing now is actually a defense mechanism - by forcing slowdown the body probably buys many more years of wear. Note that it comes at the point when children are growing in independence. Historically, this would have been the first opportunity for a person too slow down - to start pawning off work on the kids.

I suppose I should mention that this is idle speculation, I have never studied aging. The study of aging (which I believe is termed gerontology) is, ironically, a wild young science. It's faddish in it's theories and speculative in it's experiments. So, in this field, beware of scientists bearing ideas.

Bitter Animator said...

Unfortunately, I'm not exactly at a point where I can slow down because my children are more independent.

My eldest is a toddler and she doesn't seem to make allowances for my sore neck and general year-round fatigue.

susan said...

Hey Bitter, I just realized.

Could you be hatching the next Alien only instead of coming out of John Hurt's tummy, it's coming out of yours?

Bitter Animator said...

That's entirely possibly. It's going to be one big alien though.

Red Pill Junkie said...

...Or, it could be just your vestigial twin trying to burst out :-P