Friday, September 11, 2009


I've often heard about these 'out of body' experiences. Where people feel themselves float out and above their body looking down at themselves.

I remember when I was first diagnosed with depression, one of the things I felt was that I wasn't living my life - I was watching myself living my life. Like I was out of my own body or looking through a television or something. Turns out this feeling is quite common with depression.

I wonder if it's connected with these out of body experiences? You know, you didn't just have a spiritual experience, you're just depressed dude. Maybe there are miserable monks everywhere. Or maybe those of us with depression are approaching enlightenment... actually, if being depressed is close to enlightenment, maybe that's not something to strive for.

That small work for hire project I mentioned in my last post is officially dead. Which leaves me with a void. An uncertainty. Actually a certainty - that I have nothing to go on to.

I'm throwing my all into the project I'm on. Everything I have is going into that, hence the infrequent updates. It's making me a little bit crazy. Nothing seems good enough right now and those few elements that do seem good enough, I'm wondering if they are too polished for the spirit of the show. I'm constantly second-guessing myself right now.

Susan informed me that it was Suicide Prevention Day yesterday. I missed it. But, if you're reading this, you prevented a suicide yesterday simply by living so well done to you. To some, that may seem flippant but, to others, that achievement doesn't come so easily.

Be good to those people.


Red Pill Junkie said...

"...actually, if being depressed is close to enlightenment, maybe that's not something to strive for."

I think you might be confusing the obliteration of the Ego with emotional numbness, my friend.

About that void in your career: have you considered using it to work on that children's book you've always wanted to write? It seems that a lot of animators are making that switch, and very successfully I might add.

susan said...

Bitter , i just sent you a PM but I agree with the ever so sagacious RPJ. Maybe tis time to write a book.

I can even offer my nephew as a lab rat....

Bitter Animator said...

I would love to do that, RPJ. That would be great. I fear the outcome, knowing just how high the standard of children's books is and I fear not pulling it together and it not actually being good.

But it's something I would love to do and I need to let those fears go.

Any and all lab rats are welcome, Susan!

Red Pill Junkie said...

You shoudl really let go of your fears about the book.

In fact, an interesting idea came up in my head: You're a an animator/cartoonist, and Susan is a writer. I mean... Hello?? 2+2 equals you-know-what ;-)

Also, I would also like to propose the theme: how about a book for children who suffer from depression? If there's anyone who understand the topic, is you guys!

You're welcome ;-)

susan said...

Once again I concur to RPJ. ;-)

And for the record, I have written a children's book. It remains unpublished though. It's much harder to write a children's book and get it published, then it is to write one for grown ups and get that published.

Who knows. Bitter might and will write (sale wise) Good Night Moon! Harold and the purple crayon...

Dare I say Green Eggs and Ham? Or Harry Potter?

RPJ- if we do agree to write the book, can we agree have you translate to Spanish?

Red Pill Junkie said...

"RPJ- if we do agree to write the book, can we agree have you translate to Spanish?"

It's a deal :)

Mr. Trombley said...

Dear Sir,

I suppose I ought to announce my return to the blogging world. So I am. I wrote a short thing on Einstein to do this. Not much to add to that.

Interesting that you should draw a connection between depression and enlightenment. As you know, the Buddha's spiritual path began with his first encounters with the harshness of reality - seeing an old man, a diseased man, a decaying corpse. He attempted to escape the suffering of the world via Asceticism, but found that starving himself did not bring spiritual truth.

Francis of Assisi also embraced Asecticism after trauma - spending a year as a military prisoner then after escaping home coming down with a severe illness.

It's often alleged that Martin Luther's obsession with his own sinfulness (called "scrupulosity") is what caused him to reject the selling of indulgences - basically he bought some and didn't feel any less sinful.

Well, those ones actually turned out rather well. I suppose the famous stories are going to be of the successful cases.

On the less dramatic side we have Eric Hoffer: "Faith in a holy cause is to a considerable extent a substitute for the lost faith in ourselves."

You certainly surround you're insights with powerful friends, sir.