Astro Andy on the Enterprise

He's a badly drawn Captain Kirk today.

A hot weekend here. Too hot. I burned yesterday simply just going about my everyday business. Just burst into flames.

But I don't sleep in heat. Just can't do it.

Now me and sleep aren't friends at the best of times but last night was one of those hideous nights where I was so tired that crazy thoughts just went on a loop in my head and I couldn't get them out. And yet I couldn't sleep. It's the loop thing that really gets to me. If I was working out substantial puzzles or something, that might be okay. It's the fact that I'm having a thought worth about 4 seconds of brain time but it just loops for three hours.

I hate that.

Eventually, I got a little bit of very broken sleep. I dreamed of a dog that walked like a person. Not like a dog up on its hind legs - it walked just like a person. And it was being walked by a lady. Then a train hit the dog and it just went splat - gone, leaving only a pile of goo. Where the train came from, I don't know. But, when I examined the train, the dog was there, like it was stuffed, being pulled out by a team of dirt-covered miners.

If anyone knows what that's about, let me know.

Hope you all have a good weekend!

Star Trek Phase II

I couldn't just leave the talk of Star Trek at that. As a Star Trek fan, I feel compelled to go into more detail and expose my geeky self.

As a result, there are spoilers here. It takes a while to get to them but there ARE SPOILERS!!!

If there are any comments, there will likely be SPOILERS in there too.

So BEWARE THE SPOILERS!

SPOILERS! ALERT! SPOILERS! ALERT!

As I mentioned in the last post, I thought the characters really worked and they were the core of the film.


Karl Urban did a great McCoy. That man deserves an award for that performance. And Pine, there was one scene where he channelled Shatner's performance and, for a moment, they could have been the same person - in that very last scene.


But the rest? No, I didn't see the Chekov I knew. I certainly didn't see the Scotty I knew.

Thing is, I don't know that it would have been any better a movie if I had. What I saw a bunch of new characters who just happened to share names with the characters I knew. But I thought these new characters were pretty damn great. Simon Pegg's Scotty was probably the furthest away from the original and just played it for laughs. But it worked. He was massively entertaining. Chekov was excellent - young and so enthusiastic. While that description sounds just like the original, how he was played was entirely different. And they worked for me.


In some ways, I could say there were actually subtle improvements. For example, we see an Uhuru who knows several different Romulan dialects, contrasting with an Uhuru in Star Trek VI, a senior communications officer seemingly without a word of Klingon.


Quinto as Spock was an odd one. I've heard how like Spock he was from several people. He looked like Spock. But something was off and I'm not sure whether it was the writing or the acting.


He seemed to be written into a slightly different role, well beyond the Science Officer he once was. And, with that, seemed much more comfortable in his surroundings and with humans than the Spock I know from the original series. And, though he's half Vulcan and their thing is their lack of emotion, Nimoy's Spock was always commenting on what was going on around him with just his looks. He showed a huge amount in his face.

You could see even very early on that Spock did in fact have a sense of humour, that he did sometimes doubt himself, that he was often baffled by those crazy humans.

I got very little from watching this new Spock.


That's not to say he was bad. In the role that was written for him, he worked very well. Just different. And this was made all the more apparent by having Nimoy in the film.


You know, that move was key to the movie. Had this been a complete reboot, a (to use the term I loathe) reimagining, it would be open season. Anything goes.

But they didn't do that.


By having Nimoy in the movie and telling the story they did, they were saying this is all part of the Trek universe we know. Yes, it's different because some things have changed, but aside from stuff changed as a result of Nero's and Old Spock's presence, everything should be the same.

Nimoy in the movie means that consistency is an issue.

Oddly, the one character who should have gone through the most change as a result of Nero's first action, Kirk, is probably the least changed. If anything, Nero's actions provide a good backstory as to how he ended up like he did. But he was like that already in the timeline we saw before Nero was invented.

Now, he was missing the thoughtfulness of Kirk but then he was younger so maybe that had something to do with it. But people seem to remember the fist fights and torn shirts and forget how many aliens/robots/whatever he beat with pop philosophy or psychology.

Scotty, on the other hand, is a whole different person. And there is that odd quirk in the Spock/Uhuru relationship, the point of which eludes me. I can't think what it really contributed to either of them. Yes, it impacted on Kirk but to a tiny degree.

But, as characters were different and Star Trek is sacred, I am thinking - well, did it have to be those characters? Couldn't they have created a whole new bunch of characters? I remember seeing Generations and loving that opening - a whole new crew of rookies who seemed totally out of their depth. A new crew made just for that movie. Seemed really interesting. And then 15 minutes in, we move on and never see them again.

We end up with the soulless crew of The Next Generation.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Next Gen at the time and it had some great stories but the characters were pretty dead and they had a hard time sustaining movie interest. For me, anyway. They're stiff. They're not fun.

But a whole new crew? Yeah, I could get behind that.

So did this have to be Kirk? Spock? I don't know. I guess they felt name recognition was all-important. I'm not so sure.


The story of the movie felt all too convenient in places. We're getting a new story where they are all sort of forced together, whereas I guess I would have imagined in the previous timeline that their careers evolved naturally. We were asked to swallow a hell of a lot when a smuggled, suspended cadet was given command of a starship and his young buddies went with it.

And then they get to keep the ship.

But there were plenty of other contrivances in the movie. We were asked to buy a lot of very unlikely events and actions. You either accept those or you don't.

I think, as a Star Trek fan, what could have helped here would be nods to some original stories. These could have been very subtle but would have made all the difference. For example, like the classic show, Captain Pike was captain of the Enterprise before Kirk. But, in the movie, he had Kirk's crew. Had he had someone resembling his 1st Officer, 'Number One', as in the orginal show, that would have eased the transition.

And where was Gary Mitchell?

He was the 1st Officer under Kirk seen in the pilot episode with Shatner, when Spock was just a Science Officer. According to that episode, Mitchell was a good friend of his in the Academy, when this new movie take place. But he doesn't seem to exist in this new Trek. His addition, in even a small role, would have been a lovely touch. And, considering how well they wrote the new versions of some of the characters, he could even have been a main player.

But, to their credit, there were some nice touches. Tribbles for one thing.

Though they managed for the first time to make a green alien woman look rather less than sexy.

You know one thing that let me down though? It's just a small thing I guess - the engine room. It was a few pipes. I remember back to engine rooms of movies gone by with large crews all in special protective suits and those, to me, looked like the engine room of a starship. This one looked a little cheaper.

Star Trek fans are known to be nitpicky. Well there was plenty to nitpick in this movie. But there were some massive things to overlook. Like how a star went supernova by the Romulan planet and seemingly they noticed it too late. Or how two blokes and their hand weapons could destroy one of Nero's drills and yet not one affected planet seemed to have any defenses to do it themselves. But, even accepting what we're told in the movie, there was one thing that stood out for me and it was mentioned in the comments of the last post so I wasn't the only one -

Nero and Spock were sucked into a black hole and thrown through time, unscathed. And yet everything else touching black holes was destroyed. For some reason.

I can get past that. Just about.

The big problem, the one thing that's hard to get past, as I mentioned in the last post, is how weak the villain was. Who he was, the reasoning behind what he was doing, just didn't feel strong enough. He was nobody. Nero may well be one of the weakest Trek villains we've had.

And that made it far more difficult to take the struggle against him seriously. Good heroes need great villains and Nero just didn't cut it.

That was a major failing.

What's odd is that the last Star Trek movie, Nemesis, was hated on by just about everyone. Part of the reason for that was the villain in my opinion - a bald rogue Romulan with a grudge against Picard for some obscure reason.

And, as much as that film was criticised, they saw fit to have history repeat itself, this time with a bald rogue Romulan with a grudge against Spock for some obscure reason.

Not a good move.

But I guess that's something that could be sorted in another movie.

Other things...hmm... I quite liked the Enterprise, though it doesn't reach the standards of the one introduced in The Motion Picture, which I think is just gorgeous. Effects were pretty good except for a very CG creature in the snow. Though, oddly, I think the old Motion Picture still looks more expensive than this movie.

This one was more of a mixed bag. Expensive looking outdoor snow shot leading to a bunker that felt like it came from Romero's Day Of The Dead. That doesn't negatively affect the film but every part of The Motion Picture looked expensive.

Humour was spot-on. Score was great. I didn't mind the use of the Beastie Boys at all.

Product placement in a Trek movie stinks though. I really wish I hadn't been subjected to that.

I could go on and on.

But I won't.

Before this movie, Star Trek was dead. Some people may like bits and pieces like Deep Space Nine (those people are have issues), or Voyager (those people are related to the cast members), or Enterprise (those people don't exist) but pretty much everyone who likes Star Trek could find more to hate about it than love. The concept and universe was beaten to death and killed.

And the originals, those who started it all, are either dead or too old. Though Shatner is still, to this day, a god.

Star Trek was dead.

So there was nothing to lose with this. And I don't think we've lost anything. I actually think we've gained a lot. I'm very curious to see where this will lead.

I'm looking forward to more.

What I'd really love to see in a new movie is the actual premise - to seek out new whatevers. Exploration. There has been so little actual exploration in the Trek movies.

Star Trek

I finally managed to see Star Trek last weekend.

I love classic Star Trek. I don't care if you call me a geek. I think it rocks. I think the characters are exceptional and it has a perfect balance of thought, action and humour - a balance that was often retained in the movies but completely off in most of the follow-on shows.

Shatner is a god. Nimoy is fantastic. The girls are sexy.

I love classic Star Trek.

So when I first heard about J.J.Abrams doing a 'reboot', I thought it was a bad idea. For many reasons. Firstly, remakes are utter shite. Yes, there are a few good ones but I can count those on one hand and most of the good ones were made before Hollywood went creatively bankrupt and started remaking everything. The words 'remake', 'reboot' and especially 'reimagining' make me want to puke.

Secondly, Abrams did what? One of those godawful Mission Impossibles and Lost. I hate Lost.

But, most importantly, classic Star Trek is sacred.

I began to mellow to the idea when the shots started to appear. Just a little. Then the trailer. Actually, the trailer looked pretty damn cool. But, still... Star Trek is what it is. Shatner is Kirk, Nimoy is Spock and it would take a lot to get past that.

So now I've seen it.

I liked it. A very enjoyable action sci-fi movie. Certainly exciting in places with some sequences that kicked ass. And, thankfully, it had a very healthy dose of humour.

The main thing that really worked for me were the core characters. They put together a group that worked really well together. They gelled as a group and each brought something different. However, for the most part, they bore little or no resemblance to their original counterparts. Karl Urban as Bones was the exception, who took the risky approach of trying a DeForest Kelly impression. It paid off. He pulled it off brilliantly. And there was one moment, just one, where Chris Pine was completely James T. Kirk. Pine certainly had the action and the attitude but, in the process (and this was down more to the writing), he lost the brains of Kirk.

The rest of the crew were different. They shared the names of the original characters, accents and not much else.

But, even being different from the originals, the characters worked. They came together to form a new crew - a very entertaining crew. Everyone had a role to play and I thought each actor delivered the goods for these new characters.

The action was pretty great in general and it really kicked off in full gear in the opening sequence. And there were a few good old fashioned hand to hand scuffles too. It wasn't just all space battles.

The only problem I had with the action was that there were a couple of sequences just thrown in simply to add more of it. The main one being a big monster in the snow. Had it been removed from the film, nobody would have noticed. Same with Scotty getting stuck in a pipe. They were just sort of thrown in as opposed to actually contributing to the story.

And while I'm on the story, I may as well get to the one big negative, the one thing that I felt held this movie back from being absolutely fantastic - the villain. Eric Bana is Nero, a Romulan from the future who has been thrown back into the past and is determined to wreak havoc and destroy Spock.

For some reason.

It's explained twice, in two hefty exposition sequences, and yet still it just felt like I had no real idea what his problem was. I knew nothing about him. I knew he was angry and that was about it.

And that took the power away from the movie. Massive events happened that should have been tragic and yet because it was all happening at the hands of someone who seemed so weak, so much impact was lost. Considering the events of the movie, this guy should have been an enemy of Darth Vader proportions.

Instead, he was some dude on a ship who ended up back in time for some reason.

But, even with that, the movie was very enjoyable. Was it the Star Trek I know and love? No. It was something different. But, with or without this film, the Star Trek I know is dead. And what we have now is something new. It's pretty exciting.

I'm definitely up for more of this.

Warp 4 out of 5.

Sleepy weekend

What a dull image. He's not even hurtling into an asteroid field or anything. It may as well be a picture of a bloke on a bus.

I think I just wanted to do an Astro Andy ship interior. Probably thinking about the Star Trek movie. I haven't seen it yet. Reviews seem to be positive all across the board and yet, from actual people, I'm hearing a few negatives.

I love classic Star Trek. I'm not going to apologise for that. The characters mean a lot to me.

But, you know, no matter what I think of the film when I get to see it, at this point, Star Trek is dead. The franchise ran itself into the ground years ago. You'd have a very hard time finding even a rabid Trekkie who didn't draw the line somewhere and say that a large percentage of Star Trek is complete rubbish.

And, as far as the original series goes, a couple of cast members are dead and the rest are old enough for us just to say, let it go. Star Trek's time has passed.

So, even if I watch the movie and think, "well this isn't Star Trek," nothing is lost. Or I could love it and then it's a whole new beginning.

Of course nobody will ever replace Shatner. That man is a god. Let's be clear on that.


So it's the weekend. I'm flicking through the music channels, trying to avoid P-P-P-Poker Face P-P-P and so on. It's not easy. Seems to be either that song or Beyonce trying to put me to sleep.

Did the banks ever collapse? I haven't been keeping track of what's going on but I'm a little disappointed society hasn't fallen apart yet.

The weekend rambling

What, the same post? Nah, I just had coloured it after I posted it the other day, meant to replace it in the post and then lost track of the day so didn't do it. Here it is now though. Late. And pretty pointless.

Any games players here? Well, I know we have at least one and that one in particular (Mr.Trombley) will be interested in this piece of news. So, you know Earthbound, right? It was a SNES RPG about aliens and was just about one of the most charming games ever made. Well, Earthbound fans outside of Japan got kind of shafted. The original game, Mother, (Eartbound was Mother 2) was never released in English. Then, years later, they made another game in the series, Mother 3, for the GBA. No English release either.

Well, after a long wait, some frustrated yet talented and hardworking fans have done a complete fan translation. The whole game, now in English. That's nice of them, eh?

I finished reading Joe Murray's 'Crafting a Cartoon' ebook. He's the man behind Rocko's Modern Life and Camp Lazlo. If anyone is curious about what it takes to get a cartoon made, that's the book to read. Well, in the US anyway. It actually works quite differently for the most part over here in terms of selling it and financing. The book is a good read with a great attitude behind it. It's positive, not bitter (I find that refreshing) and yet also entirely based in reality. Who would have thought the realities of animation these days could be viewed without bitterness? Really? Certainly an eye-opener for me.

So the plug has been pulled on the Masters Of The Universe movie that was due to be made. Good thing? Bad thing?

Yeah, rambling... always the same at the weekend. I think my brain goes into shutdown. Or something. Still in a Star Trek mood so I'll leave you with the clip below and the brag that I once met Mr.Sulu.

If I were Captain...

Yeah... that's what I'd do. If I were Captain. Make Spock perform his duties in nothing but a thong. You all know you'd want to see that. Picture it. Picture it now - his Vulcan butt crack. Yeah, get a good picture of it in your mind.

Or picture the women in their shortest possible skirts. Your choice.

I think I'd make a good Captain. I'm no Shatner obviously (who is?) but I can rip my shirt and start a fight with the best of them. And I'm a devil with the ladies. In my mind.

Back to those new Trek images yesterday, notice how the uniforms have that chainmail/scale pattern on them. That seems to define modern costume design - Spiderman was given them. Superman too. And... probably others. And now the Star Trek crew. Just take the existing design, add scales and, BAM, you've got a modern 'reimagining'. It's very now. To steal from Harry Shearer in A Mighty Wind, it turns retro... to nowtro.

Among the costume design community (a small but militant group I've heard), I think it's going to be something they look back on and wonder what the hell they were thinking. And in a few years time, some poor new costume designer is going to throw scales on to their latest creation and be laughed out of it - scales are so over. Did Iron Man have scales? I don't think so but I can't quite remember. If not, I bet that movie doesn't date as badly as Spiderman among the costume design community.

But, as Sephim pointed out in the comments of yesterday's post, it should have been velour.

Always velour.

Yes, even Iron Man.

So what's changed on the Enterprise?

I woke up this morning to shots all over the web from the new Star Trek movie.

I love classic Trek. I find it hilarious and has so much character and it's pure entertainment. Everything that the later iterations didn't have, I love. So I have been, and still am, very skeptical of this new film. Recasting Shatner? Im-fucking-possible. It just can't happen. It's that simple. There is no god greater than Shatner and anyone who tries to fill his shoes will stumble in his footsteps (thanks to Depeche Mode).

Nimoy too. Anyone trying to play Nimoy can go and shite.

So I have expected nothing but cack from this new film. I, unlike the rest of the world, have never been wowed by this Abrahms guy except to say that Lost had a great pilot (but what the hell happened to the rest of the show?). But I see these images and, well, I'm surprised. I'm surprised mainly by how close the uniforms look to classic trek, even down to the positioning of the seams. I honestly did not expect that at all. If you haven't seen the images, go track them down on any movie site.

But check this one out in particular as it contains the main cast - Pic at UGO.

There's Simon Pegg in the background as Scottie. We all love Pegg, don't we? And Karl Urban as Bones (Doom rocked and if you don't think it did, you're wrong). Some sexy Uhuru girl and a curly haired guy (no idea who he is) and Sulu and presumably that guy in the black is Kirk (stumbling already). I think the uniforms look pretty great and a couple of those guys actually look good in the part (not Kirk, he looks like he's supposed to be the main perpetrator in a frat-boy rape case drama).

But something seemed wrong to me in the image. It took me a while to figure out what was wrong. And then I realised - none of them look like they actually eat food. Like they actually might enjoy tucking into a burger or a great big pepperoni pizza. Or a fat steak. No, they look like they should all be on America's Next Top Model purging with the best of them. The uniforms just sort of hang there, like clothes are supposed to do on a runway show, not on actual human beings.

It's not like I expect a big fat old Scottie there but there's not even a hint of variation in the body types.

Do people who eat food not get cast in movies any more?