Today is a little better than yesterday.
I need sleep. A lot of it. All at once.
The lack of sleep is now inhibiting my ability to conduct everyday life. One way or another, that can't continue.
On the plus side, I can now do an excellent zombie impression with little to no effort. Not the rubbish fast zombies. Proper zombies. Those fast zombies aren't even zombies and totally miss the point. I've heard people justify them by saying - well, they're like zombies only more scary because they're fast and that makes them more dangerous.
Following that logic, they should be given guns. Then they'd be even more dangerous. Or nukes. Think how much more scary that would be. Hard to get more dangerous than that. Or even a death ray, like Godzilla. Actually, they could be bigger than skyscrapers too. Then, even their footsteps would be dangerous.
Totally misses the point.
It's the slow, shambling creeping death that defines them. Their strength in numbers, not the individual. A huge part of the suspense of a good zombie movie comes precisely from people being lulled into a false sense of security because they are slow. Mocking them. Letting their guard down.
That's why they work. That's what makes them creepy.
And when the zombie apocalypse comes (and it will), you people who think they're only scary if they can run or have death rays will be the first to fall.