Friday, April 25, 2008

Hitting my limit



I was always a B student who was prone to getting Cs. Not As. No, I was never that good. Never best at anything. But decent, and that meant high expectations. Why wasn't I getting As? Where did this C come from?

Of course the dumbass students who failed consistently got a bloody party any time they scraped a D.

But, now, my Bs, which slipped to Cs, have slipped all the way down to fail. I'm in a bigger pool. Of people with actual talent. I can't compete any more. I'm done.

And yet there is something oddly familiar about that feeling of inadequacy. It's almost comfortable. Like I'd rather be that fail student who gets the cake for just getting his name right on a paper.

The rejection I got yesterday didn't even come with a letter. It came with a card. A little rejection card.

4 comments:

Andy J. Latham said...

I know how you feel. Not necessarily from an artistic point of view but from an academic one. At school I was an A student most of the time and was doing fine. However the moment I hit college I suddenly dived to a C student and I stayed there all through university too. I hate college for doing that to me.

If I could buy you a "Sorry you were rejected" card, I would, but I think that would probably only add insult to injury!

Tool said...

I've been getting rejected lately. Contracts. School.

Tool said...

you should send them more ideas with titles like "Your Oh So Precious Proprieties" and "Fuck you too, Cowards".

Bitter Animator said...

The rejection thing always reminds me of this scene from Black Books - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU4S2BIqoHY