Monday, April 14, 2008

The real video nasties


Films that should be banned: Chick Flicks.

Seriously.
Not because they are bad movies. Okay, they aren't my thing but some of them are very well made. No, chick flicks should be banned because they are really, really bad for people. Especially women. They are damaging to women everywhere.

Most, if not all, chick flicks send the message that women need a man. More than that, a needy woman will take any man that shows the slightest bit of interest. The only two requirements a woman needs to fall for a man according to these movies - a) they're needy, b) the man shows some interest.

That's it.

Bridget Jones's Diary: Colin Firth's character is an asshole. All the way through the movie. He's a complete dick. But Bridget Jones feels she's getting old and is needy as she's cheated on by that guy who got a blowjob in a car and Firth then shows a bit of interest and that's all she needs. They live happily ever after. The end.

High Fidelity: Yeah it focuses on the guy but it's totally a chick flick. Girlfriend dumps that 80s guy for being a complete dick (see a pattern?). He doesn't change. What does change is that her father dies. She needs someone and comes back to him. They live happily ever after. The end.

Sliding Doors: Something bad happens to Paltrow (I can't quite remember but wasn't she being cheated on?). Meets an annoying Scottish dick (always a dick). She's needy. They probably live happily ever after, I don't really know as I couldn't stomach that Scottish gobshite.

You've Got Mail: This one's a doozy. She's needy because the guy is putting her out of business. He shows some interest. They live happily ever after. Man, that guy has it worked out. He has learned from chick flicks and actually creates that need himself.

I could go on. They're all the same. Girl is needy. Guy is a dick but shows a bit of interest. They live happily ever after. Is that the lesson we want women to learn? Show some self-respect, girls. Seriously, come on. Most of you are better than that. You shouldn't be watching this crap. They are bad for you. You can do so much better than the stupid-ass girls in these movies. It's not romantic, it's emotional extortion. Or something.

The other effect of these movies is that they show two people who are clearly incompatible getting together and then the movie ends before they show the rows and the inevitible break-up. So it gives totally unrealistic expectations of how relationships work. Women are looking for this movie magic and think something is wrong when they don't get that. Nothing is wrong. That's just life. Life is not those movies.

Chick flicks should be banned. That was the general gist of all this.

3 comments:

Andy J. Latham said...

You've hit the nail on the head here! Chick flicks deliver what girls want to believe. I guess it's like their pornography.

Mitch L said...

Haha, Im happy that my girlfriend hates that kind of movies.

Mr. Trombley said...

Dear Sir, I have nothing to add:

"Speaking of love, one problem that recurs more and more frequently these days, in books and plays and movies, is the inability of people to communicate with the people they love...And the characters in these books and plays and so on, and in real life, I might add, spend hours bemoaning the fact that they can't communicate. I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very least he can do is to shut up."
-Tom Lehrer