Premiere, computers and ceilings

There are definite disadvantages to using computers. Okay so I'm not painting a ceiling but Premiere is being a dick right now.

Seems to be general worldwide policy now to blame the young'uns in checking their Facebooks. Oh, it's all about the Facebooks these days. You kids and your Facebooks.

But where's my audio, eh? Where, Premiere?! Where?!!

That lost feeling

I think I just needed a bit of validation with that last post. I can be so needy sometimes. It's rather embarrassing. What would be worse is if that's the wrong number of 'r's and 's's in that word. I think it's two of each. It looks right. I think.

I don't think I can express how much I hate my laptop. It really is a heap of shit. But new ones are expensive. I think I'll go Apple next time. This Vista malarky just isn't for me. But then I'd have to get Mac versions of all my programmes... more expense.

I'm having one of those odd disconnected days. I'm not even 100% certain the question mark in that image is the right way round.

?

?

???

Yeah, it is. Whew.

All switch!

That is, of course, unless the studio pays to upgrade everything all at once. Which would be the most logical solution, though not the most cost-effective.

Adobe seem to upgrade their products all the time and there have been about 400 Flash upgrades since they took over that. Our production has been expanding as it turned out to be bigger than the producers thought. That means more animators, more compositors and more programmes. And it seems each time a new station gets put in place, Adobe has upgraded their software.

Not with anything we'll actually use.

But upgraded regardless. Meaning, unless upgrades are bought for the entire studio, people end up uncompatible. Or incompatible. Or, worse, both. Saving to an earlier version seems to be something Adobe have now removed too.

It's not just Flash. There are a couple of guys on Premiere and they ended up having to upgrade and the only difference that mattered to them is that the newer versions hog RAM for no apparent reason. They aren't doing anything differently and yet the programmes do not run as well as they once did due to the memory requirements. A pointless and counter-productive upgrade for the studio.

At least my old, old Flash lets me save to old, old, old Flash. That's a bonus, right?

I hate them. Every single one of them.

I really do hate them. So much.

My laptop blew up a few weeks ago. Okay, it didn't blow up exactly but the hard drive died. So it cost a bunch to get the hard drive replaced and I've been battling with a fresh install of Vista ever since. It's all these poxy updates. It downloaded and installed about a thousand and four crappy updates, each one with the sole purpose of trying to break my system.

And they succeeded.

It took another fresh install and a careful series of updating bit by bit followed by a huge trip through the system restore to get it working. And I'm still having to look at that 'your system didn't shut down properly screen'. The system stutters with a ridiculous amount of processes running, most of which are totally pointless. It has eaten up far too much time. All I want is a laptop that works.

It's easy to blame Vista but I have an XP desktop machine that is a magnet for spyware, malware and every other kind of ware they're is. I don't know if someone is secretly downloading shit the second I turn my back but I have every protection programme on the planet running on that thing and I still end up spending hours cleaning that piece of crap every time it gets infected - which is several times a day.

It's a constant battle.

Even at work, with corporate strength virus protection and firewalls, it turned out someones USB key was infected with a trojan and they were happily passing it around the studio.

I just hate computers. They take up far too much time than they deserve. Are there any computers anywhere that actually work as they should? That don't crash? Don't get broken by system updates? Actually, you know, work?

Apple's dark secret

Anyone update their iTunes to 7.7 or perhaps an iPod Touch to 2.0? I did.

Had I tied dynamite to my iPod, lit the fuse and took several steps back, looking away from the blast, I would be more likely to have a functioning iPod at this time. It certainly would have been more fun.

iTunes 7.7 breaks Windows Vista. Or Windows Vista breaks iTunes 7.7. I don't really care which breaks which. I couldn't give a shit. But they're broken. Some Apple Media Support Device is buried in there with one goal - to destroy your life and break your spirit. Don't trust its lies. It cannot be changed, moved, uninstalled or installed over. No, even going in and trying to delete the files manually, it says I need permission to delete them.


Permission. To delete shit off my computer. Really?! Permission?! Whose bloody permission to I need? Because I called my mother and she says it's fine by her so let me get rid of these goddam files off my computer. She's cool with it. No problem. Who else do I need to check with? My doctor? A respected member of the community?

So that knocked one computer out of my iPodding equation. But, hey, all is not lost. I use the 'Manually manage music and videos' option that allows me to bring my iPod between my two home computers and my computer at work. And my work machine is XP so no problem, eh?

Well not quite. You see, now, after the 2.0 update (which completely wipes your iPod by the way and does so with a smile on its face) seems to render that 'manually manage' button completely worthless. Oh, sure, you can still check that box if it makes you feel better but it means jack shit now. If I try using your iPod Touch on another compuuter, it will wipe it. Each and every time.

What a complete and utter piece of crap.

The dynamite would have been much more fun. Apple, Mr. iTunes and that small child on his Etch-A-Sketch can all go and shite. I hate you all. Not just mild dislike. Full-on hate. Like, I would spit in your soup and laugh while you ate it. Or drank it. Do you eat or drink soup? Because it's really food but it's liquid. I don't know. Doesn't really matter - I'd spit in it and watch you ingest it, you pack of gobshites.

A weekend of woe

It wasn't a good weekend for computers. My laptop is giving me drive failure messages and is generally being a pain in the ass. My other computer is telling me that the system drive battery voltage is low, whatever that means. And my iPod is just being a dick at the moment. The new iTunes update seems to have broken the fabric of reality.

Computers have a way of just eating time and giving nothing back. And I don't believe there is one computer on the face of the earth that doesn't have some sort of problem. There's no such thing as a fully working computer. Everyone is using some kind of workaround or ignoring the random error boxes.

So, yeah, my laptop is dying. But there are no restore discs. You see, you were supposed to make your own restore discs when you get the computer but here's the thing - it tells you that in the Recovery Manual, the booklet you reach for when it's too late. There's some guy laughing his ass off at that decision. He's pulling the piss out of everyone who buys his computers.

He's a bad, bad man.

Design flaws

I'm working on a Dell computer that's probably about three years old. They may have changed since then but this one is just so utterly shit. It's like it was designed by someone who never intends to use a computer in their entire life. The front has two USB ports under a flap at the front, at an angle, facing down. Oh, and they're backwards.


Makes no sense.


Thing is, it sounds small, but when you're working with this design flaw every day it just has a way of getting under the skin. What a piece of crap. Mr.Dell, you may go and shite.

The thing about computers

If you moved your office into a porn shop, how much work do you think you'd get done? Honestly?

None. I'm right, aren't I? How could you with all that porn around begging you to, well, look at it and stuff. Well, stick me at a computer with internet access and it's like dumping me in a porn shop. Productivity drops to zero.

And tissue costs skyrocket.

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Well, the current climate being what it is, if I'm to stand a chance of ever getting a show off the ground (and we all know that best case scenario takes that chance just ever so slightly above zero), I have to embrace digital methods. I don't like it (a subject that's been discussed all over many times but I may well give my take on it soon) but it's the reality.

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So I guess I may have no choice but to put up with all that fantastic porn.

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Oh, if you're wondering why I put dots in between these lines it's because poxy blogger kept joining up the lines and removing my spaces. Why? I have no idea. I'd find out and try to fix it but well... computers...porn... you know.