Thursday, January 29, 2009


What's odd in situations of panic is that my depression is never an issue. I remember years ago, when I was going through a bad patch (like, a really bad patch), I was just about to start a fairly big project and I had in important role in it.

I was asked by someone involved, who knew about my problems, if I'd be able to do it, what with the depression and all. Would I crumble?

I said no, of course not.

But I was really thinking yeah, I'm pretty sure I will but I need this project.

Not only did I not crumble but, once I was in the thick of it, the depression was put to one side and never became an issue. The more stressful it got, the more I'd initially be sent into panic, which isn't good, but that panic would always be followed by a feeling of action - the need to overcome challenges. In a way, I found myself thriving on the panic because it gave me very clear goals and, as it turns out, I'm not bad in a crisis.

Panic is where I'm at right now.

And it's not all that bad.

BONUS: Today's Reason To Be Angry (it's a Sky News link and you shouldn't click it if you are on the verge of depression, are already convinced human life is an abomination or, alternatively, if you are happy living in a bubble of complete delusion)


susan said...

Ah Panic,

In the words of a fellow author- DON"T PANIC!

I don't know if you want to hang a towel out the window.. yet, though....

I know what you are talking about. Is t panic, or is a kind of rush? Maybe that is the reason I loved working on Wall Street?

Take care Mr. Animator. I know you can reach your goals.

Harriet said...

I've always found that anxiety makes me productive. Depression has the opposite effect. The more anxious I am the more I get done.

Panic, on the other hand, can be so extreme that you can't function. But if you can keep it a lower level you might just be able to get everything done.

Just don't forget to breathe.

Red Pill Junkie said...

You know...

Remember the movie Hancock (yeah, I know, but don't pretend you haven't seen it)? Remember when the PR guy tells Hancock that the reason he was depressed and drank was because deep down he knew he wasn't fulfilling what he was meant to do?

Maybe that's the reason for your own depression: it arises when you're not being tested or challenged.

A warrior needs battle to temper his spirit.

PS: Adding to that little news you sent, take a look at this:

With the white phosphorus, DIME munitions, and the use of depleted uranium in American shells, the middle East is slowly catching up to Ukraine for the title of 'Most toxic & fucked up land in the world' :-(

Toole said...

Saddam Hussein was the keystone of stability in that region and if the Iraqi people had to suffer for a sword waving madman to keep Iran and Saudi Arabia in check, that's better than what we have now. It may or may not be better for Iraqi's but I don't care.

Anonymous said...

Susan, I'm guessing when you say "fellow author" you're referring to Stephen Hawking. I was in a car with him once and he said "I'm an excellent driver" - he's always making pop culture references like that.

Scary part though, was when he turned to me and said "If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit."

susan said...


No, i was referring to Douglas Adams, but I really like Hawking very much. I wanted to be an astronomer as a child but couldn't handle the math once it got to Calculus and science once it got to Physics

I think I would have wet myself if I saw Dr. Hawking driving......

Bitter Animator said...

RPJ, I honestly haven't seen Hancock. Honestly. The last films I saw were Dark Knight, Iron Man and perhaps Saw IV (yes IV, not V) before that - the side effect of kids, you see.

But what you quote from the movie makes a huge amount of sense.