Yes, folks, it's what I'm affectionately calling the Bitties! My Cartoon Forum '08 Awards show. No red carpet, no nominations, just all winners. Oh, and a little retrospective at the end.
So let's get straight on to the winners.
THE BITTER ANIMATOR CARTOON FORUM '08 AWARDS!
Winner: The Three Robbers
Well, it was all from the movie, wasn't it? But you were here to pitch the television show.
Most Disgraceful Pitch Line
Winner: The Baba House
They describe it as "Big Brother for toddlers".
Winner: Rah Rah!
Yeah, it's cute. That's a good thing.
Most Entertaining Personality
Winner: Jonathan Peel
Jonathan Peel, of Millimages, claims he's going to be a pensioner next year, but this man is a complete hellraiser. He's a veteran (or victim) of the rock and roll years.
Most Bitched-About Distributor of the Year
Winner: Entertainment Rights
What has everyone got against these guys?! Wow, talk about venom.
Most Inappropriate Project
Winner: Paper Clips and Nail Polish
The buyers here are from children's channels. You wasted a lot of money going to the Forum. There's one (or even two) like this every year.
Stuff I Drank Too Much Of
I almost died. And Oktoberfest hadn't even begun.
Accessory Of The Year
What was with the amount of crutches and leg injuries at the Forum this year? Had to be a fashion thing.
Winner: Jules Grant, C21 Media
Yeah... she's pretty.
Winner: Richard Rowe, Cartoon Network
Is he wearing make-up? I think he is. The ladies love Richard.
Most Expensive-Looking Project
Winner: Plankton Invasion
Well, in the trailer anyway. Everyone is drawn to a trailer that looked expensive, regardless of whether it's any good or not.
Project I've Seen A Million Times Before
Winner: Little Astronaut
So many to choose from this year. So many copies and bland knock-offs. But this Little Astronaut thing looked so familiar that it came out a winner. Astro Andy would have kicked its ass.
Project That Looked Like A Children's Show But Should Have Been For Adults
Winner: Just A Thought
Real children's dialogue animated in a crude children's drawing style. Was a close contender for the previous category. But what they were talking about was love and sex. That's not a kid's show. Kids would have no interest whatsoever in it. And some parents wouldn't want them to. What were you thinking?
Winner: Adventures of Someone and Somebody Else
I've totally forgotten the name. Seriously guys, put a bit of effort in.
Winner: The Cartoon Forum Intro Animation
I should have mentioned this before. Before the trailers, there was a little intro animation apparently done in Ludwigsburg by the local students. A CG 3D thing. It was really good.
Trailer of the Year
Winner: Stories About Francis
Clear winner. The moment he dropped his pants had me in stitches. Genius. Dropping pants=hilarious. It's simple.
Forum Reporting of the Year
Winner: Bitter Animator
Yep, AWN's Ron Diamond can go and shite. Kidscreen's Jocelyn Christie lost out due to her second day outfit. Not a good choice. And Jules, well, she had won a previous category and I like to spread the love. So I think I win. If you're reading this and you're connected in any way with the animation business, tell everyone you know that I totally won this category. I'm an impartial judge too. Yeah, I kicked ass.
So there you have it. I end this year's Cartoon Forum with a victory. Go me. The quality of projects this year was not high. Everyone was saying it. Actually, everything was just a little bit disappointing. The turnout wasn't great. The location was nice but the Forum area itself was sort of stuck on a big road. I drank too much and I'm glad to be home now.
I had a little something with me but didn't do great getting it around. The broadcasters tend to have this wall up - they are very obviously being inaccessible - and I'm pretty shy in general so introducing myself to them became like asking a supermodel for a date. I'd just crumble. Quite pathetic really. Not to worry. I did actually make a couple of useful contacts so who knows where they'll lead.
I hope someone, anyone, got something out of my Forum reports. I expected to do more bitching about people but there wasn't enough going on to really dig up any dirt.
Next week, it's back to our regular scheduled programming!
Oh, and if you know anyone I mentioned or who works on one of the projects, feel free to let them know they won a Bittie. It is prestigious after all.