Scheduling for dummies

Sorry, I mean scheduling by dummies.

Should I be a producer? Would I be that good that I could actually consider the possibility that there are holidays taken withing the course of the year? Is that skill and foresight really so lacking that I could enter that end of the business as a producing megastar?

Is it that the holidays only magically appear in that little diary after you've made a schedule and are requiring people to work their asses of to stick to it?

It's like these people who stand at the bus stop making small talk, telling each other how the mornings are getting darker. Of course the mornings are getting darker. It happens every bloody year! Every single goddam year. That's not news. That's not a talking point. It just happens. But seemingly those people forget each and every year that it happens and are taken by surprise the next year. Just as producers are taken by surprise by the possibility of the same bloody public holidays that happen every single year ever.

How does one become a producer and where do I sign up?